What have we learned from 2009 top movies?
1. If you have to feed a tiger in the bathroom, go inside and close the door, instead of just entering, throwing him the steak and run closing the door after you.
2. You can easily get away with auto theft (plus shooting, etc) just by appealing to the officer’s ego.
3. After being left out on the roof of a hotel and suffering major sunburn, go ahead and put the top down of your car for your long drive home in the direct sun.
4. Original Hotel Receipt from “Hangover”
Brüno
1. The Mexicans are very comfortable.
2. It is perfectly acceptable to give your 30 pound baby liposuction to make her lose ten pounds (especially if your baby is going to be dressed up as a Nazi).
3. Mel Gibson is also known as “Der Fuhrer”
District 9
1. Aliens have finally stop crashing/landing in the USA.
2. A spaceship that has run out of power can still levitate itself, despite a lack of power
3. Cat food is like crack to aliens
Inglorious Basterds
1. When you have the entire Nazi high command, including Hitler, watching a film premiere, just post two armed guards; there is no need to station additional troops anywhere, to thoroughly check the venue for bombs or other threats, or to search any visiting Italians.
2. Hitler enjoys chewing gum during movies.
3. A Nazi investigator will always order milk to drink.
2012
1. When collecting animals for the ark, do not collect cows, sheep or pigs (animals that provide humans with food and clothing) rather save the giraffe and the rhino, and then return them to Africa, a part of the world that wasn’t flooded anyways!
2. If you want to survive in 2012, take a few flight lessons.
3. Russians would rather speak in mangled English rather than their native Russian while talking amongst themselves.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
1. If you spend 100 million dollars on a movie about toys from the 80s people will go see it.
2. The U.S. military has an elite underground group of highly trained ninjas to do battle with other highly trained underground secret ninjas.
3. French police will only intervene after half the city, countless citizens, and their most marketable tourist destination has been destroyed.
Star Trek
1. In the future we will move the Grand Canyon to Iowa
2. In the future traffic cops will be replaced by floating cyborgs who refer to everyone as “citizen”.
3. Go to Engineering if you want to play the Star Trek drinking game.
Watchmen
1. If you disintegrate and then recombine, you have a free pass to walk around naked.
2. If you find out that you cause cancer you can always start a new life on mars.
3. World peace justifies atomic war.
Zombieland
1. Bill Murray always has Ghostbusters ready to go in his home theater.
2. Zombies can’t tell if you’re a human as long as you look like a zombie.
3. Thank God for rednecks.
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
1. Werewolves, by definition, must have six pack abs and take every possible opportunity to show them off, even if it means standing in the rain topless waiting for someone to randomly stop by
2. So if a vampire sparkles in the sunlight, it brings a whole new meaning to the lyric “I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.”
3. When a misunderstanding over the phone occurs, don’t press “dial back” but run to the last known location of the caller.
Avatar
1. Giant dinosaur flying creatures understand English.
2. Na’vi hair is not really hair
3. Aliens in space stole Native American and African costumes
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Twilight Saga is best movie of the year. And yes, I am teen
Dec 23, 2009@Avatar:
"#2. Na'vi hair is not really hair"
Ans: Yeah…they're like a USB Pen Drive, which you can plug into anywhere its compatible. Horses, Flying Dinasors, Trees, Lolz…
Dec 23, 2009Funny except a few false claims…
District 9 #2: A spaceship that has run out of power can still levitate itself, despite a lack of power
- The spaceship never had a lack of power, but rather had lost it’s control room.
Avatar #1: Giant dinosaur flying creatures understand English.
- They don’t understand any language, they’re giant dinosaur things. You control the animals with your mind, the fact that Jake found it necessary to shout the commands as well is just his own personal thing. This is clearly evident as later in the film he no longer finds the need to say anything.
Dec 23, 2009I think the reason they could understand english is because he was linked with them and could feel what he wanted, not because he was saying it
Dec 23, 2009Darshan has is right, what better way to communicate with the world around you then a biological USB drive in your hair?
You also forgot to mention that when high ranked military men state that the Na'vi have carbon fiber bones and are extremely hard to kill that really all he means is you have to shoot them twice.
Dec 23, 2009I would so do OWhoreA from Trek. What if a black ninja was considered “good” and a white ninja was considered “bad”?
Dec 23, 2009I think the "Iowa grand canyon" referred to is actually a stone quary… Thus the uniform surface. Although you would think they would fence it in a bit…
Dec 23, 2009Zombieland: Expert survivalists turn on all the lights and sound-making attractions at a theme park as the most creative and imbecilic suicide method.
Dec 23, 2009“In the future we will move the Grand Canyon to Iowa”
I’m pretty sure that was a quarry, not the Grand Canyon.
Dec 23, 2009funny stuff
Dec 23, 2009It wasn’t the grand canyon in star trek. it was a mine.
Dec 23, 2009Rule 34: avatar. Go.
Dec 23, 2009I guess Transformers was left off ’cause there was absolutely nothing that could be learned from it… except maybe to avoid Michael Bey movies like the plague.
Dec 24, 2009Re: “3. When a misunderstanding over the phone occurs, don’t press ‘dial back’ but run to the last known location of the caller.” The phone at the house was old. The caller crushed his cell phone. No calling back.
Dec 24, 2009The Na’vi’s hair IS hair, they just hide their connection tentacle thingy under it – and – the things they connect to using this do not understand any language, rather, you have to think of what you want the animal to do, it is easy to think about it if you are saying it. Finally, if you hadn’t noticed, all natives wore the same clothes on earth, why wouldn’t it be the same on another planet with similar humanoid aliens?
Dec 28, 2009get over all of this and just enjoy the movies.
Dec 29, 2009When saying “giant dinosaur flying creatures”, they meant the Na’vi. As in, the Na’vi are giant creatures who fly on dinosaurs. And understand English.
Dec 30, 2009you sir, are an idiot
(see below)
Jan 2, 2010this guy is taking this way to seriously
Jan 3, 2010hahaha… the disco stick line was priceless..
Jan 9, 2010OP = unfunny
Come up with that Lady Gaga bit yourself, did you?
Feb 13, 2010wow. most of the commenters take this way to seriously! calm down y’all!!
Feb 24, 2010gr8 resrch bro…
Jul 26, 2010Leave a Reply