What have we learned from 2009 top movies?

The Hangoverhangover

1. If you have to feed a tiger in the bathroom, go inside and close the door, instead of just entering, throwing him the steak and run closing the door after you.

2. You can easily get away with auto theft (plus shooting, etc) just by appealing to the officer’s ego.

3. After being left out on the roof of a hotel and suffering major sunburn, go ahead and put the top down of your car for your long drive home in the direct sun.

4. Original Hotel Receipt from “Hangover”


Brünobruno-sitting-on-mexicans 1. The Mexicans are very comfortable.

2. It is perfectly acceptable to give your 30 pound baby liposuction to make her lose ten pounds (especially if your baby is going to be dressed up as a Nazi).

3. Mel Gibson is also known as “Der Fuhrer”


District 9district-9-spaceship 1. Aliens have finally stop crashing/landing in the USA.

2. A spaceship that has run out of power can still levitate itself, despite a lack of power

3. Cat food is like crack to aliens


Inglorious Basterdsingloriusbasterds 1. When you have the entire Nazi high command, including Hitler, watching a film premiere, just post two armed guards; there is no need to station additional troops anywhere, to thoroughly check the venue for bombs or other threats, or to search any visiting Italians.

2. Hitler enjoys chewing gum during movies.

3. A Nazi investigator will always order milk to drink.


20122012 1. When collecting animals for the ark, do not collect cows, sheep or pigs (animals that provide humans with food and clothing) rather save the giraffe and the rhino, and then return them to Africa, a part of the world that wasn’t flooded anyways!

2. If you want to survive in 2012, take a few flight lessons.

3. Russians would rather speak in mangled English rather than their native Russian while talking amongst themselves.


G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobragi-joe 1. If you spend 100 million dollars on a movie about toys from the 80s people will go see it.

2. The U.S. military has an elite underground group of highly trained ninjas to do battle with other highly trained underground secret ninjas.

3. French police will only intervene after half the city, countless citizens, and their most marketable tourist destination has been destroyed.


Star Trekstar-trek 1. In the future we will move the Grand Canyon to Iowa

2. In the future traffic cops will be replaced by floating cyborgs who refer to everyone as “citizen”.

3. Go to Engineering if you want to play the Star Trek drinking game.


Watchmenwatchmen 1. If you disintegrate and then recombine, you have a free pass to walk around naked.

2. If you find out that you cause cancer you can always start a new life on mars.

3. World peace justifies atomic war.


Zombielandzombieland 1. Bill Murray always has Ghostbusters ready to go in his home theater.

2. Zombies can’t tell if you’re a human as long as you look like a zombie.

3. Thank God for rednecks.


The Twilight Saga: New Moontwilight 1. Werewolves, by definition, must have six pack abs and take every possible opportunity to show them off, even if it means standing in the rain topless waiting for someone to randomly stop by

2. So if a vampire sparkles in the sunlight, it brings a whole new meaning to the lyric “I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.”

3. When a misunderstanding over the phone occurs, don’t press “dial back” but run to the last known location of the caller.


Avataravatar 1. Giant dinosaur flying creatures understand English.

2. Na’vi hair is not really hair

3. Aliens in space stole Native American and African costumes

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Comments

  1. Darshan Pandit says

    @Avatar:

    "#2. Na'vi hair is not really hair"

    Ans: Yeah…they're like a USB Pen Drive, which you can plug into anywhere its compatible. Horses, Flying Dinasors, Trees, Lolz…

  2. Space says

    Funny except a few false claims…

    District 9 #2: A spaceship that has run out of power can still levitate itself, despite a lack of power

    - The spaceship never had a lack of power, but rather had lost it’s control room.

    Avatar #1: Giant dinosaur flying creatures understand English.

    - They don’t understand any language, they’re giant dinosaur things. You control the animals with your mind, the fact that Jake found it necessary to shout the commands as well is just his own personal thing. This is clearly evident as later in the film he no longer finds the need to say anything.

  3. Michael says

    I think the reason they could understand english is because he was linked with them and could feel what he wanted, not because he was saying it

  4. Wes says

    Darshan has is right, what better way to communicate with the world around you then a biological USB drive in your hair?

    You also forgot to mention that when high ranked military men state that the Na'vi have carbon fiber bones and are extremely hard to kill that really all he means is you have to shoot them twice.

  5. Cavin says

    I would so do OWhoreA from Trek. What if a black ninja was considered “good” and a white ninja was considered “bad”?

  6. Certified Analrapist says

    I think the "Iowa grand canyon" referred to is actually a stone quary… Thus the uniform surface. Although you would think they would fence it in a bit…

  7. Saikotic says

    Zombieland: Expert survivalists turn on all the lights and sound-making attractions at a theme park as the most creative and imbecilic suicide method.

  8. Doh says

    “In the future we will move the Grand Canyon to Iowa”

    I’m pretty sure that was a quarry, not the Grand Canyon.

  9. T1000 says

    I guess Transformers was left off ’cause there was absolutely nothing that could be learned from it… except maybe to avoid Michael Bey movies like the plague.

  10. Jacon says

    Re: “3. When a misunderstanding over the phone occurs, don’t press ‘dial back’ but run to the last known location of the caller.” The phone at the house was old. The caller crushed his cell phone. No calling back.

  11. Avatar says

    The Na’vi’s hair IS hair, they just hide their connection tentacle thingy under it – and – the things they connect to using this do not understand any language, rather, you have to think of what you want the animal to do, it is easy to think about it if you are saying it. Finally, if you hadn’t noticed, all natives wore the same clothes on earth, why wouldn’t it be the same on another planet with similar humanoid aliens?

  12. Dash says

    When saying “giant dinosaur flying creatures”, they meant the Na’vi. As in, the Na’vi are giant creatures who fly on dinosaurs. And understand English.

  13. Aweber says

    “In the future we will move the Grand Canyon to Iowa”

    I’m pretty sure that was a quarry, not the Grand Canyon.

  14. About Avatar says

    I hated this movie. It ripped off so many other movies, cultures…the whole thing was a giant rip of in LDS friendly colors…which is what I believe to be the whole love affair the public had with it…it is by far worse than batman and robin as they were bad but they didn’t rip of fifteen of your favorite movies smash them into one and color by number.

    I hated it the first time and every time I’ve been forced to watch it….Cameron sucks.

  15. About Twilight says

    Twilght is for teens with good attention spans. However, I will admit I loved the Jacob scenes and do like my beefcake, so I watch Eclipse when it’s on television. He has a great body and one of the few actors in those movies that had emotion.

    Him and the man that played the Chief of Police were decent I hope to see more of them…uh no pun intended.

  16. About says

    Avatar stunk. They ripped of so many previous movies and other cultures mashed them together and colored it with lsd friendly colors, which is the only reason I can think of as to why anyone liked it.

    Yes Batman and Robin is bad, however, they didn’t steal from 15 other movies do a day glo color by number and pass it off as original.

    Cameron should be ashamed. This is why he rushed getting it into stores, selling it every which way asap…he knows the public will finally ad it all up…it’s a stinker and by far the worst movie I’ve seen in a long while and I’ve seen some stinkers.

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