Rock Soap Opera: The World’s First Soap Opera with Rocks

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Rock Soap Opera is arguably the perfect amalgam of the best and the worst of the internet; the irrelevant somehow made relevant.

This daily soap opera, played out with a cast of rocks, follows familiar dramatic themes like love, betrayal and blackmail, but in a far geekier way than you’d ever see on TV.  Complete with tongue-in-cheek puns and celebrity cameos from Cheryl Coal (played by a lump of coal), this rightly deserves it’s place as the most pointless site on the web.  Already a cult hit, it enjoys a loyal (and vocal) audience of rock fans across the world, who eagerly tune in every weekday at 9am GMT to catch the latest episode. Check out some scenes below.

Cheryl Coal oh noes

Cheryl Coal in hit and run drunken shocker! The humanity!

the rock cast

A look at the rock cast. Janine is sort of the Claire Huxtable of the bunch–attractive and extremely career-driven. Baby Javier has nothing but love for everyone, and Carlos is something of a Barney Stinston, chock-full of womanizing.  And then there’s Krystal.

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You did what! You are no longer welcome in my home!

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mmm..let’s cozy up with some champagne and watch this week’s Rock Idol. Cheryl Coal’s performance should be one for the ages..rock ages. And I do declare that Randy Rock Jackson is going to call a performance “pitchy” at some point tonight.

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Huh? You’re proposing marriage to me? Where were you four years ago?

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Baby Javier is ready to rock your socks off.  He’s probably thinking, “I wanna rock right now, I wanna, I wanna rock right now…” But he must be patient.  The road to super stardom is ripe with landmines. Baby Javier dreams of one day becoming the drummer for a popular rock band. But let’s face it, with a name like Javier, he’ll be lucky if he doesn’t end up as a bartender at some run-down bar on the outskirts of Miami south beach.

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These past few years, things, well, they just haven’t gone right.

Get up! You don’t belong on the streets. I believed in you.  I still believe in you!

No, no. It’s (coughs loudly), it’s too late to save me.

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Tragedy hits home. “There are questions I can answer.  They’ll be no time to ask them later…I’m dying you see.”

home for rocks

The memories of this home run deep. Too deep…

Rock on, rock soap opera. Rock on.

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