Top 10 Worst Parent Fails from

Ah, parenthood. The indescribable thrill of it all. Marveling at this wonder of creation that came from your very loins. Realizing that no matter what happens in your life, you would do anything to care for and protect this baby. Holding the baby. Carrying the baby.

Launching the baby into outer space.

Yes, parenthood is truly a privilege to be savored. Granted, not all parents are created equal. Some parents take their jobs pretty seriously. They diligently feed, clothe, and shelter their children. They bathe and dry their children according to the instructions on the tag.

Machine wash warm, line dry.

The truly committed parents take time out of their incredibly busy lives to play with their children. They run and laugh with their children, so that their children will become emotionally, intellectually, and socially adjusted to the world.

And by "the world" we mean "the nice man that wants to kill you."

Getting an education is one of the most important aspects of childhood. Unfortunately, the pub-lick skools are grossly underfunded, and the private schools are simply beyond the reach of most parents’ budgets. That is why so many parents turn to home schooling as a way to give their child a future they can depend on.

Getting Buried Alive in Ground Beef 101

Discipline is crucial if you want your child to develop a sense of self-control. Some parents maintain that a good old-fashioned spanking for unacceptable behavior is sometimes warranted.

Other, more progressive parents advocate a kinder, gentler system of verbal warnings and material rewards and getting laughed at behind their backs by kids that know they can do anything they want without incurring any meaningful consequences.

The avante garde of the parenting elite, however, recommend the Super Suspend-a-Baby, Apartment High-Rise Edition for teaching children self-sufficiency.

"Year 2, Month 5, Day 16. The city is restless, needful. In the distance, smoke. My captors have still not shown their faces. I may have devised a way out. Timing is critical. They're coming."

Another thing that all children need is plenty of other people to interact with. Whether going for a ride in the country with the whole family…

Not pictured: Six more strapped to the other side.

…or just spending the weekend at grandma’s house…

"Her cold..."

…the old saying always proves true: It truly takes a village to raise a child.

Still, the best parents never, ever leave their children with someone else, under any circumstances.

Yo Dad, it's take two and pass, honky, not suck the whole thing down.

Without a doubt, parenting is one of the toughest jobs out there. No parent can do it all on his own. We all need a helping hand from time to time. And if your lousy, no good, deadbeat sperm or egg donor isn’t around to help out, sometimes the child just has to grow up a little sooner than you would have liked. You have to show the kid the ropes.

For more awesome bad parenting pics, see

Will Conley’s extensive qualifications for writing about parenting include having parents, hearing about parents, and yeah.


Leave a Reply