Don’t Take Fashion Advice From Musicians!

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Throughout our nation’s pop-culture history, we can trace some terrible fashion trends back to their celebrity origins. We must be a pretty impressionable population, though, to have adopted some of these fashion trends in everyday life. Here are some of the most egregious fashion trends that were started by songs:

Jump

Why Kriss Kross wanted us to wear our clothes backward, we may never know, but their song “Jump” certainly inspired people to do so. Thankfully, the trend was short lived, except on their album cover where it will live in infamy forever. And, of course, in embarrassing yearbook photos. Luckily this is one trend that lived (and died) pre-Facebook. I never understood how you get the sizing down anyway. I wear a 32 pant when it’s on zipper side front. What size is that backward? Will I ever get to use a urinal again or will I always have to take care of business in a stall? And am I willing to double the size of my wardrobe for this?

The Thong Song

Rapper Sisqo encouraged the ladies to show off their thongs, but in hindsight we’re pretty sure they are called “underwear” for a reason. Like, they should be under your other clothing, not peaking out like a set of wings or some sort of safety device. Sisqo can be partially credited with reversing the stigma of thong underwear, or at least starting discussions about it, in cars and minivans across the country. Back in 2000 when the song was released, soccer moms weren’t quite hip to the idea of eliminating visible panty lines with thong panties, but I guess that’s progress.

Hammertime

M.C. Hammer was a huge commercial success because he was an innovator in his genre. He was the first rap/hip hop artist to embrace stage spectacle and turn it to his advantage. He often performed with two disc jockeys, over a dozen backup dancers and backup vocalists. His signature dance move was the “typewriter” or “Hammer dance” which wasn’t the same when imitated, largely because of his signature clothing item. Hammer pants¬†were a stage costume, and in that context they were fabulous. They were significantly less fabulous, however, when worn by trendy (using this word loosely, here) young men across the country.

Sunglasses at Night

Corey Hart’s “Sunglasses at Night” may be really catchy, but let’s face it: wearing sunglasses, well, at night is really creepy. The whole point of sunglasses are to block the sun from one’s eyes using the framework of eyeglasses. Hence the name “sunglasses.” Being unable to see someone’s eyes in conversation is strange enough during the daytime. At night, it adds a whole extra level of creepster. Only the blind, the hungover, secret service agents, and poker players should be wearing sunglasses at night or for that matter, indoors.

Bonus: Pants on the Ground

The now infamous viral hit “Pants on the Ground” hit the Internet after it was used as an audition song by General Larry Pratt for American Idol. The song made fun of the fashion trends of the rap/gansta style including: pants worn (far) below the hips, grills (the kind that go in your mouth) and sideways baseball hats. As much as the song aims to ridicule the style, it’s so catchy that it is hardly scathing.

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