Woodstock Festival

This famous festival brought us some of the world’s best known songs, among them Jimi Hendrix’s electrifying and disturbing version of The Star Spangled Banner. However, what many people don’t know is that while this was a huge concert very few people were there to see Hendrix send out his message (whatever the heck it was) at 9am on a Monday morning. Still, at least he was there. John Lennon was in Canada and was refused a US entry visa, while Bob Dylan was looking after one of his children, who was in hospital over the Woodstock weekend. It is estimated that a groovy 90% of the audience smoked marijuana, but strangely only 33 of the 400,000 hipsters present were arrested on drugs charges. When the food ran out a local Jewish community made hundreds of meat and pickles sandwiches, sending them over to the hungry hippies with the help of nuns.

One of the big problems with making movies is that you pour your heart and soul in making a compelling film which will be your legacy to the world and some internet geek comes along and points out that your characters are wearing watches while battling with dinosaurs or eating pizza in the ice age. Never mind, here are 25 movies with obvious anachronisms to look out for.

Back to the Future

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I always thought that writing the script for this film must have been a nightmare and it is certainly full of errors. One clear anachronism is that Marty McFly plays a Gibson guitar which didn’t exist yet (no, he didn’t take it back with him).

“What you are about to see is a matter of human record. Explain it: we cannot. Disprove it: we cannot. We simply invite you to explore with us the amazing world of the Unknown … to take that One Step … Beyond.” -Opening Tagline by John Newland

In the mid to late 1950′s, Science fiction short stories were popular among young boys and young men. With space exploration taking off, the genre of Sci-fi were taking over comic books and landing in the laps of everyone in television form. With the theme of science fiction mixed with subtle shock, men like Alfred Hitchcock, Rod Serling, and John Newland had taken the night time spots on the tube. What? You’ve never heard of John Newland?

Remember as a kid, before becoming consumed with social media, there was a time when we sat in front of the television to watch our favorite saturday morning programs? We used to eat our cereal while watching those programs and would be as excited when the commercials came on. That’s when we would decide which cereals to pick on our next shopping trip. Some cereals survived the test of time, while others staying for a brief period. Here are some cereals from the past that really never got their chance to shine and be eaten by us sugar loving kids.

Rice Cream Flakes (1968)- Nabisco

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What’s one thing that’s better than sugary cereal? How about sugary ice cream? Rice Cream Flakes were introduced in 1968 in New York for market testing. There were three flavors introduced at that time, vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. Rice Cream Flakes were doomed to fail as Nabisco hired Oregon Freeze-Dried Foods as its supplier of its ice cream, but the company soon went out of business and no other supplier was found. Rice Cream Flakes soon followed and we were left with only thoughts of what they would have tasted like.

When I first heard that the job of Pope was soon going to be free I was kind of tempted to send off an application to Rome. I mean, who wouldn’t want to sit around all day hearing juicy confessions and having everyone you meet kiss your ring?

However, the more I thought about it the more I realized that this job just isn’t for me. If you want to want to know why you should avoid putting your name forward for the next conclave then here are the top reasons.

1. No Cutting Edge Clothes

Any job description which mentions the need to wear a uniform which includes items like a house dress, a chasuble and a cassock immediately sets alarm bells ringing, doesn’t it? When did you ever see a Pope wearing jeans or a nice jacket? You would think that the trendy Italians would come up with some of racy, cutting edge designs like semi transparent cassocks and mitres with GPS and a Wi-Fi connection. Sadly you would need to wear the same sort of gear which your predecessors wore centuries ago and which probably weren’t even in fashion back then.

2. I Would Need to Speak How Many Languages?

Learning one language kind of sucks but to be the Pope you need to know lots of them. For a start, everyone around you speaks in a dead language and they expect you to communicate with everyone in the world in their native language. You can’t exactly rock up to Buenos Aires or Paris and say, “Hey, I am just going to do this mass thing in English if you don’t mind”. Pope John Paul II famously learned 12 foreign tongues but all that studying wouldn’t leave you a lot of time for watching American Idol after mass.

3. The Popemobile Is Not a Good Look

I mean, what is that thing? Can you buy one of those from your local Popemobile dealer or did they make it especially for the Pontiff? I don’t think you can get up to any great speeds in the Popemobile and another drawback is that if you ever crashed into a parked car or ran over a dog the cops wouldn’t have too much trouble finding out who was to blame.

4. You Can’t Dabble with the Ladies

Wouldn’t it be a great chat up line; “Hi, I am the Pope. Do you want me to hear your confessions now or in the morning?” Sadly, the ladies will be off limits for you from the moment you slip on the papal cassock for the first time. You could throw yourself into the job and start taking bromide in your tea like British soldiers but at some point you are going to feel the urge to do something which Popes simply can’t do.

5. Drinking Heavily Is Probably Out of the Question

I have always wondered what the wine that priests drink tastes like. Is it good enough that you would fill your chalice up to the brim and truly savor it while you were reading mass? I guess all that incense in the air would give it a certain earthiness but I am not sure I could get the idea of it really being blood out of my head. It is the only chance you would have to drink so you would want to make the most of it, though. After all, you aren’t going to be able to drive round the Vatican City in the Popemobile while wearing your house dress and swigging from a bottle of whisky without causing a bit of a stir.