Top 10 Ugly Christmas Sweater Ideas

Ah, the Ugly Christmas Sweater. A Christmas tradition that started, like many things that now hold the word “ugly” in their name, in the ‘80s. Initially hand-knitted outfits by grandmas everywhere, they were honestly offered as gifts and begrudgingly worn for exactly as long as it was really necessary, not one day more. Their winter theme and contrasting colours were a staple of the festive holiday season, often worn by TV anchors as an invitation to make the Christmas seem cosier and ever more homey.  After falling out of favour for almost two decades, the ‘10s are seeing a resurgence of the Christmas jumper, whether ironic or honest, with even high-street and designer brands getting in on the fun and profit. With the holiday season approaching, here are 10 ugly Christmas sweaters to add a dash of camp to your winter parties under the tree lights.

1.     Star Wars

ugly christmas sweater 1

The depiction of Luke Skywalker dangling from the ceiling in the Wampa cave, from The Empire Strikes Back, is one of the most iconic scenes in the franchise and now it can rest on your chest. Homemade and posted online on Pinterest, this jumper has now spawned countless remakes at the DIY hands of fans.

2.     Hulk Hogan’s Muscle Christmas

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The yellow Hulk Hogan handlebar moustache, the trademark gold cross, as well a few sets of weights would have been enough to drive the point home, but the Happy Holidays message being written in the famous Hulkmania font makes this the kind of party sweater that you would not call ugly to its face.

3.     Merry Christmas, Ya Filthy Animal

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As Christmas-related pop culture references go, this one makes the cross-over to the early 90s, towards the initial decline of the ugly Christmas sweater, but it doesn’t get much Christmas-y than that. The quote from Home Alone 2: Lost in New York is a classic and deserves to be on more clothes and in any size, for kids,  men and women to own.

4.     Slayer

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Legendary thrash metal band Slayer’s best decade was arguably the 1980s, so a Slayer Christmas sweater makes total sense. Want to show your metal affinities this Christmas, but also worry that you might be a bit chilly and there’s no moshpit in sight, a place where to throw yourself to keep you warm? Change your usual Reign in Blood T-shirt with this marvellous Christmas sweater, bound to keep your torso as warm and light as the very bowels of Hell.

5.     Contra

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Or maybe what you miss most about the 80s is not the loud music, but the devilishly difficult Japanese side-scrolling gun-and-run video games. Of course that’s not too specific; just feast your eyes on this Contra sweater, where the knitting patter of the sleeves and the cheap pixel art pattern of the torso blend seamlessly and is sure to bring the Christmas spirit even in the year 2633.

6.     Vintage Cat

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How could an Internet list be without at least one cat in it? Before the knitted ugly Christmas sweater even became a thing, adorably tacky greeting cards were all the rage, usually depicting cats or dogs, and now you can wear them!

7.     Dinosaurs

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Hey, remember what else was big if you were a kid in the 80s? That’s right, dinosaurs! The triceratops and the funny sauropod seem at home among other, more traditional cute Christmas motifs in store on etsy and other stores.

8.     For Her

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While most Christmas jumper are gender neutral, models that are more suited for the female shape also exist, with a longer torso being able to turn it into an impromptu dress of sorts, so keep this idea in mind when you start knitting on those sexy vests. Bonus points if you’ve got matching ones, for couples (and your dog).

9.     Reggie Watts’ Black Santa

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At the forefront of the ugly Christmas sweater revival one can find comedian, musician, improvisation master and sweater aficionado Reggie Watts. He wears many sweaters, but he doesn’t even buy most of them. Wardrobe people from all the video or photo appearances he makes just seem to bring new and new ones to him, which must be nice.

10.The Whole Family

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Look, the title didn’t promise anything about being practical. Going for this sweater means making a commitment and maybe you’re just not family-man enough. On the plus side, if this were a contest, you’d all be winners.

Most Surprising Before and After Weight Loss Photos

With the entire range of media outlets, from cable news to tabloid rags (and even the more neutral online platforms Tumblr and Pinterest), holding them under strong scrutiny, celebrities, male and female, are caught in a Catch-22 of sorts: their bodies are either flaunted about as objects and audience pleasers when in shape or pointed at and shamed when they are not. One sort of story, however, that seems to please everyone is the amazing weight loss one. Celebrities who had their curves, stretch marks and cellulite incessantly zoomed in on for months or years, reappeared as glamorous victors on some red carpet or magazine success story, which, in turn inspired dietary how-to guides, zumba programs and hula hoop tricks all over the Internet. Here are 7 before and after weight loss celebrities stories to take a look at this week.

1.     Beyoncé

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Despite gaining around 60 lb during her pregnancy, Beyoncé didn’t dilly-dally and, without the help of any plastic surgery or juicing, she quickly regained her flat stomach, by doing a lot of working out and eating at least one vegan meal per day and was careful with her snacking, turning to “edamame, a green apple or cucumbers sprinkled with vinegar, cayenne pepper and lemon juice” for nibbles.

2.     Perez Hilton

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It’s somehow very satisfying to be able to occasionally hold celebrity gossip journalists and bloggers to the same standards they incessantly apply to their prime material, and this is one of those cases. Luckily for him, after years of not doing wonders to the stereotypical picture people get in their head when they think “blogger body”, Perez Hilton proved that jaw-dropping “before and after weight loss pictures” can be not only for women, but a men’s game as well.

3.     Kim Kardashian

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Everyone knows there’s no shame if your figure isn’t quite the same after you give birth, but when you’re a celebrity whose entire early career was based solely on your body features, you tend to hold yourself to different standards. Kim Kardashian lost 50 pounds in 5 months after her pregnancy by ways of low-carb food and extreme exercise that left her face, abdomen and breasts looking as amazing as ever.

4.     Raven Symone

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The former child star has made her career as an adult in roles where her curvy figure was often a plot point, but that didn’t stop her from going through a major transformation when she decided she had enough. She blames her initial weight gain, in her teenage years, on stress and credits her efforts to relive herself of being stressed with her remarkable before and after weight loss.

5.     Ricky Gervais

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The British comedian lost quite a bit of weight (and, hopefully, his inability to properly fit a suit, with it) alongside long-time girlfriend Jane Fallon, the two going at it together. In typical casual manner, no clinic treatment or raw-vegan fasting was involved, but healthier eating habit and running regularly around the neighbourhood worked just as well, if not better. Gervais’ only regret? “Now I’ve got to stop making jokes about fat people, which is annoying. When I was fat, it was okay.”

6.     Jennifer Hudson

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One of the most talked about weight loss stories in the media, Jennifer Hudson’s phenomenal transformation was remarkable not just for the sheer difference of (not a pound less) but 80 pounds, but for her doing so from her high-publicized role as spokesperson for Weight Watcher, an organization that greatly benefitted, PR-wise from it.

7.     Carrie Underwood

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The country music star and American Idol winner’s weight loss story seems to have made its way into pretty much every celebrity gossip magazine. However, honestly, the story arguably sparks more attention than necessary, with most before and after weight loss pics of her usually just using unflattering clothes or angles to make show a fake difference, which makes the whole thing smell like half-baked publicity stunt.

The Strange Accessories That Virtually Guarantee a Disastrous Christmas

Is it time yet to go stark raving bonkers and feverishly buy anything Christmas-related we can get our hands on?

There’s still some time to go before Christmas but it seems safe to suggest that you already know that the festive season is going to be a disaster. Why? Because you love strange Christmas accessories like these.

The Santa Whisky Dispenser

Strange Accessories and Disastrous Christmas

This festive abomination is wrong on so many levels that it is hard to know where to begin. Ok, for a start you know that letting the whisky flow freely over Christmas is a passport to vomit in the turkey and people scrabbling about on the floor fighting after lunch, don’t you? Then there’s the fact that the alcohol liquid is being squirted (somewhat forcefully, I might add) out of his private parts. This is all going to end messily.

An Unusual Christmas Decoration

Strange Accessories and Disastrous Christmas

There are some things in life that are worth experimenting with. Pasta, for example. Why not try adding some extra cheese to your Carbonara or stick some olives in your Bolognese? There is little to nothing that can go wrong. However, when we cast our world-weary glance at Christmas decorations we can see that most innovations aren’t so smart. Adding your car to the Christmas display outside your home is certainly ground-breaking but trust me on this one; stick to the damned pasta if you don’t want a disastrous Christmas.

Strange Christmas Music

Strange Accessories and Disastrous Christmas

Scientists have already confirmed that festive music is officially the worst thing ever invented by mankind. If you really want to torture your loved ones with some Christmas tunes then be sure to stay away from twee horrors like this one.

The Baby Christmas Tree

Strange Accessories and Disastrous Christmas

If the little fellow is celebrating his first Christmas you’ll want him to feel part of this special occasion. I know, why not cram him inside an infeasible Christmas tree outfit? You can guarantee that within 10 minutes he will fall over and start crying, causing everyone to get a headache and sucking the life out of the festive season.

A Christmas Poo for a Christmas Disaster

Strange Accessories and Disastrous Christmas

There is nothing quite like a poo hanging off your tree to get you in the festive spirit, is there? You can just imagine the look of delight on the kids’ faces when they run excitedly downstairs on a frosty Christmas morn and see this charmingly brown Christmas accessory staring them in the face.

A Christmas Chicken

Strange Accessories and Disastrous Christmas 

If there is one thing that screams “Merry Christmas” to me it is a rubber chicken. Preferably with a Santa suit on. This is quite simply a bizarre and frankly unwanted way of celebrating the festive season. The only reassuring thing about it is the fact that the box proudly states “actual size”.  Yeah, because a slightly smaller rubbed chicken decoration would just totally ruin Christmas for everyone.  It’s almost enough to have you heading straight to Santa’s genitals for another whisky.

A Christmas Tree Hat

Strange Accessories and Disastrous Christmas

Putting a silly hat on your head is a fantastic way of saying to the world, “Hey, I’m utterly wacky and I don’t care who knows about it”. If you want to look like a fool over Christmas lunch then there are few better ways of doing it.

Christmas Dinner in a Can

Strange Accessories and Disastrous Christmas

If life has taught us one thing by now it is that a self-heating Christmas dinner in a can is not going to end well. This is a festive disaster just waiting to happen.

10 Lovely Long Distance Relationship Quotes

When you’re in a long distance relationship, there are times when one of the partners can feel hopeless about the odds that relationship has at surviving, or times when the longing can just feel like too much. It’s true that there are some long distance relationships that don’t make it, mostly because they crumble under the weight of the distance. But it’s just as true that there are plenty of regular relationships that end under the pressure of other factors as well, so simply the fact that your relationship is long distance doesn’t mean that it’s bound to fail. Even more, the positive side of things is that all that longing is probably making your connection into one of the most romantic times of your lives, so cherish this time apart even if you keep working to find a more permanent solution to be closer.

Long distance relationship

Long distance relationship

But there are indeed some times when it gets hard on either one of you, for a variety of reasons: one of you might be in the military so in the other one is worried about danger in addition to the distance, or you may fear the constant pressure will make things much too short, and so on. Whenever you feel the pangs of fear, doubt or discouragement, keep this list of 10 lovely long distance relationship quotes close by – it might come in handy for a kick of renewed hope. When you feel your partner about to get more distant and hopeless, send them one of these: it will serve its purpose of renewing hope and it will count as a cute gesture as well. For a few great movies and songs about long distance relationships, read this.

1. “Nobody ever seems to understand / We’re miles apart but we’re holding hands” (Zach Ashton)

Let’s start our list with a slightly corny pop song lyric; no matter how corny it is, I couldn’t describe it better.

2. “Our lives were now worlds apart, separated by time, circumstance, and the unbridgeable chasm of money” (Travis Luedke)

This quote reminds us all that managing a long distance relationship often brings us a bit more down to earth than we’d rather be. If you don’t see it as necessarily sad, you can see it as sweet and funny: just send it to your boyfriend or girlfriend whenever you’re discussing plane tickets and share a laugh about it.

3. “You’re too far for my hands to hold you, but too near for my heart to love you” (Heraline)

The perfect thing to send to him or her when the pangs of longing take over.

4. The whole “Perfect Glass” book by Laura Andersen Kurk

Ok, so maybe this isn’t really a cute love quote to send to your partner in order to encourage them, but it’s just an useful read to remind you that even in the darkest hour when you question the fidelity of your partner and the very point of continuing with it, you are not alone. The feelings you have are very common when in a long distance relationship, and if you can take a step back and see the bigger picture, you might make it. Here’s a beautiful excerpt from the book, for example:

“And what do you want?

I almost choked. “How could you even ask me that, Henry?”

He sighed. “Because I’m thousands of miles away. Because I Skyped into your living room late one night and there’s a dude sitting next to you in the dark. Because Thanet tells me things. And Tennyson sent me a picture of you in a dress that looks like lingerie.”

“It’s not that bad”, I said.

“I didn’t say it was bad, Meg. It’s about a million miles from bad.” His voice was breaking with exasperation. “Things are crazy here, and I’m questioning everything.”

5. “Distance means separation in place but never in connections. Heart remains inseparable.” (DhelChen)

Anyone who has ever experienced a long distance relationship knows that it’s not the distance that kills it, but the hearts in it growing cold from factors that would be present even if the distance was out of the equation.

6. “I found that I missed him the more he was absent from my life, and the more I missed him the more I loved him” (Donna Lynn Hope, Willow)

This is another example of a book that seems to be an endless source of long distance relationship quotes. For more inspiration or just for helping you understand this type of relationship better, try reading the book in its entirety.

7. “This may be the last time I see you, but if you keep me in your heart, together we shall be eternal; if you believe, we shall never part.” (Ben Harper)

As corny as it may sound, it’s the truth ladies and gentlemen, and this faith in the positive outcome of the relationship is what makes all the difference between those who make it and those who don’t.

8. “I didn’t want to kiss you goodbye that was the trouble; I wanted to kiss you goodnight. And there’s a lot of difference.” (Ernest Hemingway)

This is one of the best long distance relationship quotes ever, and it’s also very good to describe the sudden desire of making a fleeting connection become something permanent.

9. “The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again” (Charles Dickens)

This may just be the perfect thing to say when you’re kissing each other goodbye at the airport or the train station.

10. “It’s been a year and 3 months since we kissed, and I rather have the ghost of his mouth on my lips rather than kiss anyone else” (Alishah Khan)

Ok, so maybe it isn’t really a very hopeful quote since it hints at an ended relationship, but it’s still very evocative about the feeling of not wanting someone present because you’d rather long for someone absent. This earned it a place in the list of the  best long distance relationship quotes we’ve ever come across.

Funny Beer Commercials You Must Watch

In an adage as old as advertising, we know that “humour sells” and, maybe not that surprisingly, it sells even better when alcohol is involved. It seems given that TV ads for wine or spirits will try to seem as classy as possible, with people in suits and evening dresses networking and communicating with each other without words. But in the case of beer ads, the funny door has been left wide open and the funny beer commercial has become a staple of American TV, dominating the Super Bowl half-time and becoming an institution in itself. Luckily enough, since the Internet has become a depository of most things past and present, many of these commercials can be watched any time on YouTube. Here are 7 funny beer commercials that are guaranteed to make you laugh.

1.     Bud Light

While many of the beer ads you will find on YouTube are labelled as “banned commercial”, most of those were actually never intended for use on television, but were devised for online distribution only. Such is the case of this 90 seconds spot from Bud Light, the king of funny beer commercials that explores the lengths an entire office would go for free Bud.

2.     Bud Light (again)

Why did I call Bud Light the king of funny beer commercials?  See for yourself: “Bud Light. The perfect beer for when you somehow find yourself in a limo with Reggie Watts and some bachelorettes, then get styled by Minka Kelly before Don Cheadle, a llama named Lilly, and the identical twin of the girl you just met take you to a party, where you defeat Arnold Schwarzenegger in a sudden-death ping pong match, that puts you onstage with OneRepublic.”

3.     Brahma Beer

This series of three Brazilian ads for Brahma raises some interesting questions, the most important one being why aren’t there more beer ads that feature a dribbling, beer-thirsty, car-thieving, lady-seducing turtle that roams the desert. While we might never know the answer to that question, we do know that one way to make your ad popular beyond the borders of your country or of your language is to use as little speech as possible in your ad, seeing how a turtle dribbling a can of beer is universally understood as being hilarious.

4.     Hahn

This ad plays on exactly the trope mentioned in the intro, building a stereotypically classy and vaguely sensual ad – presumably for some sort of bath product – just to throw it into chaos with the arrival of the beer consumer, a knowingly unsophisticated creature who clearly has a radically different opinion on what relaxation looks like.

5.     Heineken

Celebrities are also often used in beer ads, providing not just an endorsement, but a familiar face to help the commercial seem more professional and using sitcom legend Jennifer Aniston as one of the two main characters of a short, funny Heineken ad is sure to give viewers the “Friends” nostalgia that makes this one special.

6.     Heineken (again)

This Dutch commercial for Heineken was one of the most popular beer ads of the last few years. Many of the funny beer commercials on this list and on YouTube derive their humour by playing with gender differences and this ad makes it very clear that men, the main target demographic of this advertisement, have very different things to be excited about than their female counterparts.

7.     Keystone Light

A perfect example of cringe humour used to its maximum effect, this Keystone Light ad uses a situation that is likely to have happened to many of its viewers in a way that makes you feel both amused, embarrassed and sympathetic towards the main character.