10 Funny Menu Items

Ordering a meal in a restaurant can be a nerve racking experience at times. It is made even worse when you have to make your choice from inexplicable and funny menu items like the 10 funny menu items on this list.

The Tart Waitress

Funny Menu Items

I have to admit, the rest of this menu looks pretty classy. I’m not stylish or cutting edge enough to have ever tried marinated artichokes. I wouldn’t recognize a piece of manzano cheese if it slapped me in the face. However, the elegance of the menu is let down by the promise of a tarty waitress.

The Weird Stuff

Funny Menu Items

I don’t know where to start with this funny menu. I do know that harsh fresh you is going to be my favorite insult from now on. The irritable scalloped kidney sounds more like a nasty disease than a menu item. It might be worth a try I suppose.

The Ice Dessert

Funny Menu Items

I’m a big fan of cheese cakes. I would be really tempted to have one as dessert in this place. However, the 10lb bag of ice might be a more tempting option. Are you expected to eat all that frozen water, or is it a sort of compress to put on your hugely bloated stomach after pigging out on wings and nuggets?

The God Menu

Funny Menu Items

Eating isn’t usually a religious experience. But, if you order God with vanilla from this restaurant it might well be.

The Crap Item

Funny Menu Items

So, you really like seafood, do you? I’m sure your arteries are grateful for this. If you really want to treat yourself to some sea based treats, why not add some crap onto it? The foot long option gives you more crap than you could possibly imagine.

The Weird Menu

Funny Menu Items

I don’t know which funny menu item sounds more appetizing here. I am a sucker for fried rolled up trousers. But the false dog-meat pork has got my mouth watering as well. Otherwise, I guess I’ll just need to be boring and settle for a plain old stewed gastric pig.

The Wikipedia Entry

Weird Menu Items 

Is there anything on Earth tastier than getting an unreliable internet encyclopedia? Then, you can pop it in a wok and stir frying the beejezus out of it. I think not.

The Boner Meat

Funny Menu Items

Err, I think I’ll stick to the scampi if you don’t mind. And another thing: who the hell eats chips (French fries) in pitta bread? That’s just about the worst thing I’ve ever seen on a menu. The chips and cheese sounds sort of tempting though, in a gooey, horribly sticky sort of a way.

The Irish Dinner

Funny Menu Items

If you have ever fancied eating a traditional Irish dinner, there apparently isn’t too much to it. Just pop a potato in the microwave, and line up a few beers.

The Fried Nonsense

Funny Menu Items

Perhaps the most difficult thing about eating in this restaurant is choosing between whether you want your nonsense fried or boiled. It’s a tough choice. I’m sure you will eventually be able to settle down to a lovely plate of nonsense.

The Best for Sale Signs for a Home

If you are currently interested in purchasing a home, then you probably keep an eye out for tempting for sale signs. Would any of these following signs be of interest to you? This is our list of the best for sale signs for a home.

The Not Haunted House Sign

The Best House for Sale Signs

It is always reassuring to see that the house you consider purchasing doesn’t have any unwanted spirits in it. I don’t know about you but when I go to view a property I always like to get the whole haunting issue out of the way as soon as it is polite to do so; usually, this is just after asking about the heating bills and parking rights.

The Painfully Honest Sign

Funny House for Sale Signs

Being honest in life is a good thing, it really is. Sure, it might cause you some problems along the way but you will feel a lot better about yourself if you adopt this ethical approach. However, you can correct me if I’m wrong here, but I can’t help thinking that there are times when it is possible to be just too honest.

The Baffling Sign

Crazy House for Sale Signs

Do you know what the strangest thing about this for sale sign is? It isn’t the fact that the price has plummeted so low from the initial $475,000 value. It isn’t even the fact that the owner just wants the bus fare out of the place. No, it is the fact that they are offering hot cider to prospective buyers. Who drinks hot cider anyway? Is that the turnkey item which will really ‘seal the deal’ in this offer?

The Mice Sign

Funny House for Sale Signs

When did including rodents with the purchase price of a house become a good thing? For some reason, I would have thought that haggling for them separately would be more dignified. But, what do I know about selling real estate?

The Croaking Owner Sign

The Best for Sale Signs for a Home

I have absolutely no idea what is going on here. This sign indicates that the owner is about to pass away and wants to sell his or her home. But, why would you even say that on a sign? Also, why does it say liver free? I guess I’ll never know the answers to these questions.

The Free Pizza Sign

House for Sale Signs

Let’s face it; the house you buy will probably be far and away the biggest investment you ever make. It will leave you with a crippling debt for decades to come and will have you gasping in pain every time the interest rate goes up even slightly. All of this means that you will need to be very careful about buying the right place based on cold, hard financial facts. Hey, would a free pizza help you make up your mind? Go on, then. It has pepperoni on it. No extra charge!

The Multiple For Sale Signs

Best House for Sale Signs

Some sort of inner real estate instinct is telling me that Belvedere Place isn’t somewhere I want to live. After all, everyone who lives there wants out of the blooming place. I guess this could be a nice place for you if you like to meet a lot of new neighbors all the time. No word on whether any of those houses are haunted or have mice though, eh?

Insane Cloud Formations to Take Your Breath Away

Have you ever looked up at the sky and had your breath taken away? Of course, you have. The sky is filled with amazing sights such as, well, clouds. You might not think that clouds are particularly exciting but the following insane cloud formations will change your mind.

The God Cloud

Cloud Formations

This photo recently caused a bit of a stir online recently, as it appears to show a face that some people claim is the face of God. Jeremy Fletcher is the chap who took this photo in England and certainly looks pretty awesome as well as a bit creepy.

The Bird Cloud

Insane Cloud Formations

This amazing cloud picture makes it look as though as some sort of giant bird taking off over the water. I have no idea what it all means. Is it some sort of harbinger of doom or is it a sign that we are about to set off on the journey to a brave new world? Or maybe it’s just a weird cloud formation.

The Lenticular Cloud

Amazing Cloud Formations

I don’t want to get all geeky and technical but this is what cloud experts call lenticular clouds. Personally, if I was in charge of naming clouds I would have called them “pancake clouds”, which is why I’m not trusted with important jobs like naming clouds. They tend to form near mountains such as, hey, Mount Fuji in Japan. People often mistake them for UFOs, although there is also the possibility that people also mistake UFOs for lenticular clouds, I guess.

Mammatus Clouds

Crazy Cloud Formations

It’s time for some more technical words now as we look at a spectacular mammatus cloud formation. This involves clouds with pouches hanging off the bottom of them and usually means that a thunderstorm is on the way. I have no idea why these ones are red, though.

Asperatus Cloud

Bizarre Cloud Formations

What the hell is happening to the sky in this picture? This is something known as an asperatus cloud formation to experts and as “a blooming weird big thing in the sky” to the rest of us. This type of insane cloud formation is so rare that it was only given its own classification in 2009. I bet you didn’t know that the world of cloud watching was as exciting and fast moving at this, did you?

Roll Cloud

Insane Cloud Formations

The roll cloud is another type of weird cloud formation that usually means that a massive thunderstorm will be along before too long.

The Shelf Cloud

Insane Cloud Formations

This stunning cloud formation is a shelf cloud and it is a variant of the previous type of cloud we just looked at. It looks kind of scary, huh? I get the feeling that a thunderstorm might be on the way.

The Rather Rude Cloud

Bizarre Cloud Formations

Who knew that the sky could flip the bird as well? This rather rude cloud was pictured in Scotland. Jeez, you don’t want to upset the clouds when you go there.

The Horse Cloud

Amazing Cloud Formations

I reckon this is a fake picture of a cloud. After all, when did you ever look up to the sky and see a giant horse up there? However, I think I will be keeping a closer eye on the clouds near me from now on.

5 Unusual Snowmen Approaches

Olaf represents innocent love1Well, what can one think of in the middle of summer? Ice cold drinks, lonely beaches, surfing, tanning? Not really, as this post is going to be all about snowmen. Snowmen in the middle of summer are a great reminder of the days when one can only survive dressed up in multiple layers. This seems so far away right now; nevertheless, a quick chat on 5 unusual snowmen approaches that can definitely be a sip of fresh cold air.

The most famous snowman nowadays has to be Olaf, from Frozen. But Olaf stands for innocent love, not to mention that fact that he’s one-year old. So let’s take care of the veterans, shall we?

 1. The first recorded snowmen

One of the inspirations for this article comes from Bob Eckstein’s book, The history of the snowman. The first recording ever of a snowman comes from an illuminated manuscript dated 1380, that can now be found in the Royal Library at The Hague. The manuscript includes a grotesque cartoon snowman alongside a solemn passage about Jesus Christ. This is par excellence the earliest known drawing of a snowman and it has been interpreted as an anti-Semitic representation of a Jew being melted by fire. Sorry about that!

Moreover, according to Eckstein, the first recorded indecent snowmen and snow-women were created back in 1511, when the residents of Brussels, in a fit of anti-establishment anger, filled the city streets with hundreds of pornographic and political snow sculptures.

As far as Italy is concerned, a heavy snowstorm apparently hit Florence in 1494. The city’s ruler of that time, Giovanni di Lorenzo di Piero de Medici, asked a teenage friend to build a snowman in the palace courtyard. The 18-year-old was forced to create a snow sculpture that observers reckoned as the most beautiful snowman that had ever been made. The young sculptor was none other than Michelangelo.

Eckstein’s book describes a snowman calamity in North America during the 1689–1697 war between England and France. On February 8, 1690, while 25 militiamen were on duty in Schenectady, New York State, protecting 150 civilian inhabitants, the weather was so cold that the village gates had frozen open. But the sentries did not believe anyone could be out and about on such a night and so went off to warm themselves, leaving two rifle-wielding snowmen on guard.

Unfortunately the “snow patrol” didn’t fool a 200- party of French Canadian soldiers and Native Americans, who silently passed through the gates, robbed and burned the village, killing 60 villagers and taking 27 prisoners with them.

3. Snowmen in horror states

5 Unusual Snowmen Approaches2

Unfortunately, sweet old snowmen have appeared in several horror stories as Yeti. No matter if this means their playing in Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon, featuring a killer Yeti and a football team involved in a plane crash trying to survive in the Himalayas.

5 Unusual Snowmen Approaches 3

Yeti is a Pixar star as well, starring in Monsters Inc. and having John Ratzenberger doing its voice. That’s definitely a cool one.

5 Unusual Snowmen Approaches 4

How about Hugo from The Abominable Snow Rabbit in Chuck Jones’ run of The Looney Tunes? That’s a classical to remember.

5 Unusual Snowmen Approaches 5

And last, but not least, let’s not forget Scooby-Doo and his horror adventures. During their never-ending encounters with all sorts of monsters, Yeti just had to be one of them. The first time was in 1970 in That’s Snow Ghost, and then again in the far more recent, direct-to-video, Chill Out, Scooby Doo.

 4. Snowmen in Art

Here are some paintings by US artist Graham Dale. The images speak for themselves J

5. Snowmen in your Back Yard

I found the cosiest homemade pictures of friendly snowmen here and here, should you be interested in how the Japanese build their own.

22 Famous Epitaphs That Will Make you Fall in Love With their Authors

22 Famous Epitaphs That Will Make you Fall in Love With their Authors3

Whether you like it or not, we all get there sooner or later. Out time here is limited, despite out forgetting this all the time. Nevertheless, here are some memorably funny or deep or sad epitaphs found on gravestones all around the world. This is all that’s left of them, eventually, apart from memories or photos for the 20th century’s deceased. So here they are: 22 famous epitaphs that will make you fall in love with their authors.  This one is for your followers to see and remember.

For those of you who don’t know it, according to good young Wikipedia, an epitaph is “a short text honoring a deceased person, strictly speaking that is inscribed on their tombstone or plaque, but also used figuratively. Some are specified by the dead person beforehand, others chosen by those responsible for the burial.”

Old historical epitaphs

 

22 Famous Epitaphs That Will Make you Fall in Love With their Authors1

Man has always had his humour at hand. And it’s just so admirable to see a grave message from the 18th – 19th century containing so much wit.

 Here lies Ann Mann/ Who lived an old maid/But died an old Mann. (1767) Here lies my wife/ Here lies she/Hallelujah! Hallelujee! (In a Leeds graveyard, 1861)

Here lies my wife/ I bid her goodbye/ She rests in peace/ and now so do I. (Unknown source)

Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes who died January 3, 1803/ His comely young widow, aged 23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and yearns to be comforted. (A cemetery in Vermont)

Reader if cash thou art/ In want of any/ Dig four feet deep/ And thou wilt find a Penny. (John Penny’s epitaph in Wimborne, England)

I told you I was sick! (A cemetery somewhere in Georgia)

Here lies one Wood/ Enclosed in wood/ One Wood / Within another. / The outer wood / Is very good: We cannot praise / The other. (Winslow, Maine)

Come blooming youths, as you pass by, / And on these lines do cast an eye. / As you are now, so once was I; / As I am now, so must you be; / Prepare for death and follow me. (Effie Jean Robinson, Waynesville, North Carolina) – This one is cynical indeed. That’s one someone felt free to add the following: To follow you / I am not content, / How do I know / Which way you went.

Hooray my brave boys / Lets rejoice at his fall. / For if he had lived / He would have buried us all. (On a gravedigger’s stone)

Here lies / Johnny Yeast. / Pardon me / For not rising. (John Yeast, Ruidoso, New Mexico)

Here lies an Atheist / All dressed up / And no place to go. (In Thurmont, Maryland)

 

Epitaphs of famous people:

22 Famous Epitaphs That Will Make you Fall in Love With their Authors2

For one who would not be buried in Westminster Abbey: / Heroes and Kings! / your distance keep; / In peace let one poor Poet sleep, / Who never flatter’d Folks like you: / Let Horace blush, and Virgil too. (Alexander Pope (1688-1744)).

My Jesus, mercy (Al Capone)

The best is yet to come. (Frank Sinatra)

That’s all, folks! (Mel Blanc, the voice of cartoon character Porky Pig)

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. (Winston Churchill)

She did it the hard way (Bette Davis)

Hey Ram (Meaning Oh, God, Mahatma Ghandi)

Truth to your own spirit (Jim Morrison)

Free at last. Free at last. Thank God Almighty I’m Free At Last (Martin Luther King Jr.)

Never born, / Never died: visited the planet earth between December 11, 1931 and, January 19, 1990. (Osho)

I told you so, you damned fools (H. G. Wells)

All these people did leave something behind. They reflect a somewhat interesting and positive attitude towards death, turning it into something less scary, at least from my point of view.