The Best and Worst Grammar Police Examples

I’m really quite nervous about typing this. I feel apprehensive because the Grammar Police are everywhere! When you write about bad grammar, they crawl out of the woodwork to study every word and punctuation mark. Still, if you find any mistakes here, I’ll just pretend that they were made with a big dollop of irony. Without any further wait, let’s dive into our list of the best and worst Grammar Police examples.

The People and Their Spelling Fail

Spelling Fails and the Grammar Police

Can I propose a simple yet useful suggestion to the English speaking world? We should just spell they’re, there and their the same freaking way. I realize that learning how to spell each of these three short words correctly doesn’t seem like a huge task. But, it really would make this world a better place to live in.

The Double Grammar Fail

Best and Worst Grammar Police Examples

The only thing worse than a Grammar Nazi correcting you is the said Grammar Nazi making incorrect corrections. Thankfully, the person correcting the corrector didn’t make any mistakes. We could have been caught up in a never-ending series of correction notes. Each note would become more pedantic than the previous one.

The Pumps Fail

The Best and Worst Grammar Police Examples

The most interesting thing about this sign is that pre-pay pumps exist somewhere in the world. Why didn’t anyone tell me about this before now? I have no idea what liquids or solids are pumped out of said pumps. If the product is payed for before I arrive, you won’t find me complaining.

The Passed Away Grammar

Best and Worst Grammar Police Examples

A lot of people seem to have trouble telling the difference between past and passed. This infraction appears to be a huge area of concern for Grammar Police all over the planet. Surely, this should be the subject of international conferences and documentaries. However, I believe it is safe to say that a note telling you that a colleague passed away isn’t really an appropriate place to discuss the subject.

The Grammar Police Fail

Best and Worst Grammar Police Examples

Even the Grammar and Spelling Police make mistakes. In this case, we can see how two different agents of these fine organisations made mistakes of their own. Correcting other people’s mistakes all day long is a tough and tiring job. But, someone has to do it!

The Backwards Swastika

Best and Worst Grammar Police Examples

The Grammar Police and Grammar Nazis are pretty much the same. If you fall foul of either party, you will soon realize all of your misplaced commas and erroneous apostrophes. What about the Graffiti Police, though? In this case, a member of the organization was a bit too quick to write a reply when he found a backwards swastika.

The Terrible Grammar Fail

Worst Grammar Police Examples

To be honest, I failed the exams to join the Grammar Police. They offered me a position in the Superfluous Comma Squad. But, I felt like the role wouldn’t allow me to show off my full range of skills. Having said all of that, even I would need to jump in and make a citizen’s arrest on this awful speller. He may be suffering a serious case of unrequited love (she isn’t remotely interested in you, buddy), but that doesn’t excuse horrible pile of errors.

The Punctuate Fail

Punctuation Fails and the Grammar Police

Have you spotted any of my deliberate mistakes yet? I bet you haven’t. Anyway, this is a pretty good example of the power of commas. They save lives and prevent forest fires!

8 Traveling to Turkey as a Woman Tips

Sometimes visiting countries that belong to other religions, and therefore other cultures, can turn into an inter-galactic experience. Especially if you are a woman. Since you cannot go there unprepared, because you’ll be laughed at immediately, here are 8 travelling to turkey as a woman tips for safe holidays. Turkish people love socializing, and Turkish merchants love to negotiate. So keep your smiles on the face where everybody can see them, and get ready for the most useful surviving Turkey tips.

1.   Don’t wear a mini skirt and a cleavage when visiting their mosks

8 Traveling to Turkey as a Woman Tips1

They are very religious, and their mosks are their most sacred territory. You cannot go in there dressed like a trendy American or European. It is disrespectful. They not only take their shoes off when they go into a mosk to pray, but they are absolutely silent and humble in front of their mighty Allah. They keep their women covered from head to toe, so don’t defy them in a western-world-manner, even though you may find their tradition ridiculous.

2.   If you are travelling with a guy, and he’s talking to a Turkish man, don’t try integrating yourself into their conversation. Chances of success are minimal.

HINDUS MUSLIMS

Turkish men believe women aren’t men’s equals. Not physically, nor intellectually. So when 2 men are having a serious conversation, there’s no place for a woman there. It’s as if they’ve unconsciously trained their ears not to hear feminine opinion. So don’t take it personally if this happens to you.

3.   Don’t smoke, even if men are doing it near you. You’ll be taken as a prostitute in a tick.

8 Traveling to Turkey as a Woman Tips3

No faithful Muslim is allowed to smoke. Well Christians aren’t allowed either, but this is another thing. Well a woman with a cigarette is the least appealing thing for a Turkish man. Moreover you are likely to be confused with a prostitute, as their smoking is sometimes used as a clue.

4.   Wear a sponge bra

8 Traveling to Turkey as a Woman Tips4

Well this one is self-explanatory. Just do it!

5.   Short hair will make a women feel just like a zoo monkey

8 Traveling to Turkey as a Woman Tips5

Long hair is a symbol o feminity and therefore a woman should never have her hair cut. Well they’ll probably think you’re sick or something

6.   If it’s the Ramadan, try to avoid eating delicious things like chocolate on the streets. Most of the Turkish are very faithful to Allah and have to abstain from any kind of food until sunset as long as the celebration lasts.

8 Traveling to Turkey as a Woman Tips6

The Ramadan is the 9th month of the Islamic calendar, when Muslims worldwide fast all day long, every day of the month. This name stands for scorching heat or dryness.

7.   If you see a group of Turkish men drinking tea in the shade, don’t go over there, expecting to be served one as well. You’ll not be respected for that.

8 Traveling to Turkey as a Woman Tips7

Women have their own universe that seldom cuts across men’s interests. They are mainly housewives and their husbands tend to spend their free time far from them.

8.   If a Turkish guy claims to know you from a “discussion” you apparently had a few hours ago, don’t bite it. He probably wants to clench you to go to his restaurant.

8 Traveling to Turkey as a Woman Tips8

They are very dedicated to promoting their business. They are born merchants, so it’s basically in their blood to attract every person they see on the street They are also pretty inventive, and their making up all sorts of stories to get you to listen to them is far from being out of their league.  This might be annoying at first, but once you get used to their way of being, you’ll fall in love with their disclosure and love for commerce.

5 Reasons Why We Love Zooey Deschanel

Yesterday we talked about Lisa Kudrow, (well, technically about her character Phoebe on “Friends”) because of her birthday and all, but the TV is full of awesome and inspiring ladies we’d like to talk about. Today we will focus on one such lady of a newer generation than Lisa: Zooey Deschanel. Admit it, there isn’t a lot you can do to resist the charms of this awesomely smart and funny and pretty lady. And there are a lot of reasons for it; here are just 5 of them.

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1. She’s more than a talented actress and she stands up for ideals.

Whenever she’s involved in a debate where she feels like the values or ideals which she believes in are belittled, she stands up for them in a gracious, but firm manner. Her most recent such exploit was when she kindly explained to writer Mike Albo that “not every woman is dying to give birth” and he should stop putting people in such narrow boxes with his prejudice. To us, that raised her immediately to a feminist icon status, and the best thing about it is that she argues for what she believes in graciously and with an admirable understanding for the diversity of options and values.

2. She’s also a talented artist; very much so actually.

All this talk of how she’s more than just an actress shouldn’t make us forget her acting skills in any way. Sure, she didn’t win any Academy Awards yet, and she’s known mostly for sweet movies like romantic comedies and such, but that doesn’t mean she’s not playing her part(s) in a truly inspiring fashion. If you’ve seen 500 Days of Summer (2009) you can’t have not been moved by her initially cynical manic pixie dream girl kind of character. Also, if you’re watching the ongoing New Girl TV series, how can you not love her weird and goofy and insanely cute and attractive character, Miss Jessica Day? It would be impossible, really.

3. Her name is just so awesome: Zooey Deschanel.

Seriously, how can your name be Zooey Deschanel? Does no one see how ridiculously attractive and goofy and cute that name is, all at the same time? It sounds as if she isn’t a human being, but an alluring species of flower. I picture it being a dark and hypnotizing purple. The only other celebrity we know with a name which sounds as if he grew up in a planthouse is Orlando Bloom, but while he’s cute, he’s not nearly as fascinating as Zooey.

4. She has a few also famous look-alikes, but she’s still the best.

She’s often been compared to Katy Perry, or Krysten Ritter, or Lizzy Caplan, but she’s still the awesomest of the bunch (well, unless you’re a hardcore Katy Perry fan, in which case we apologize). It’s most interesting that her looks seem to be pretty distinctive and rare, with the brunette hair and white skin and enormous blue eyes, so the fact that there are a few other celebs that resemble her is actually kind of funny.

5. She has a lovely blog about cute and meaningful things.

Before she was as famous as she was now, Zooey Deschanel started a cute women’s blog together with a couple of her girlfriends, where they blogged about a whole bunch of cute things, but also debated serious issues like protests, feminist issues, relationships with the significant other or with family, body confidence issues and so on. Now, she doesn’t have the time to blog anymore, but is still an honorary member of the site. The site runs now mostly on fuel from a bunch of carefully selected contributors, but maintains the initial spirit wonderfully, under the supervision of its initial founders. Oh, and it also has a super-cute name: Hello Giggles.

These were out top 5 reasons for liking Zooey Deschanel a lot, beyond her looks and even her mere acting skills. How about you, do you like her, and if so, what do you like the most?

10 Funny Menu Items

Ordering a meal in a restaurant can be a nerve racking experience at times. It is made even worse when you have to make your choice from inexplicable and funny menu items like the 10 funny menu items on this list.

The Tart Waitress

Funny Menu Items

I have to admit, the rest of this menu looks pretty classy. I’m not stylish or cutting edge enough to have ever tried marinated artichokes. I wouldn’t recognize a piece of manzano cheese if it slapped me in the face. However, the elegance of the menu is let down by the promise of a tarty waitress.

The Weird Stuff

Funny Menu Items

I don’t know where to start with this funny menu. I do know that harsh fresh you is going to be my favorite insult from now on. The irritable scalloped kidney sounds more like a nasty disease than a menu item. It might be worth a try I suppose.

The Ice Dessert

Funny Menu Items

I’m a big fan of cheese cakes. I would be really tempted to have one as dessert in this place. However, the 10lb bag of ice might be a more tempting option. Are you expected to eat all that frozen water, or is it a sort of compress to put on your hugely bloated stomach after pigging out on wings and nuggets?

The God Menu

Funny Menu Items

Eating isn’t usually a religious experience. But, if you order God with vanilla from this restaurant it might well be.

The Crap Item

Funny Menu Items

So, you really like seafood, do you? I’m sure your arteries are grateful for this. If you really want to treat yourself to some sea based treats, why not add some crap onto it? The foot long option gives you more crap than you could possibly imagine.

The Weird Menu

Funny Menu Items

I don’t know which funny menu item sounds more appetizing here. I am a sucker for fried rolled up trousers. But the false dog-meat pork has got my mouth watering as well. Otherwise, I guess I’ll just need to be boring and settle for a plain old stewed gastric pig.

The Wikipedia Entry

Weird Menu Items 

Is there anything on Earth tastier than getting an unreliable internet encyclopedia? Then, you can pop it in a wok and stir frying the beejezus out of it. I think not.

The Boner Meat

Funny Menu Items

Err, I think I’ll stick to the scampi if you don’t mind. And another thing: who the hell eats chips (French fries) in pitta bread? That’s just about the worst thing I’ve ever seen on a menu. The chips and cheese sounds sort of tempting though, in a gooey, horribly sticky sort of a way.

The Irish Dinner

Funny Menu Items

If you have ever fancied eating a traditional Irish dinner, there apparently isn’t too much to it. Just pop a potato in the microwave, and line up a few beers.

The Fried Nonsense

Funny Menu Items

Perhaps the most difficult thing about eating in this restaurant is choosing between whether you want your nonsense fried or boiled. It’s a tough choice. I’m sure you will eventually be able to settle down to a lovely plate of nonsense.

The Best for Sale Signs for a Home

If you are currently interested in purchasing a home, then you probably keep an eye out for tempting for sale signs. Would any of these following signs be of interest to you? This is our list of the best for sale signs for a home.

The Not Haunted House Sign

The Best House for Sale Signs

It is always reassuring to see that the house you consider purchasing doesn’t have any unwanted spirits in it. I don’t know about you but when I go to view a property I always like to get the whole haunting issue out of the way as soon as it is polite to do so; usually, this is just after asking about the heating bills and parking rights.

The Painfully Honest Sign

Funny House for Sale Signs

Being honest in life is a good thing, it really is. Sure, it might cause you some problems along the way but you will feel a lot better about yourself if you adopt this ethical approach. However, you can correct me if I’m wrong here, but I can’t help thinking that there are times when it is possible to be just too honest.

The Baffling Sign

Crazy House for Sale Signs

Do you know what the strangest thing about this for sale sign is? It isn’t the fact that the price has plummeted so low from the initial $475,000 value. It isn’t even the fact that the owner just wants the bus fare out of the place. No, it is the fact that they are offering hot cider to prospective buyers. Who drinks hot cider anyway? Is that the turnkey item which will really ‘seal the deal’ in this offer?

The Mice Sign

Funny House for Sale Signs

When did including rodents with the purchase price of a house become a good thing? For some reason, I would have thought that haggling for them separately would be more dignified. But, what do I know about selling real estate?

The Croaking Owner Sign

The Best for Sale Signs for a Home

I have absolutely no idea what is going on here. This sign indicates that the owner is about to pass away and wants to sell his or her home. But, why would you even say that on a sign? Also, why does it say liver free? I guess I’ll never know the answers to these questions.

The Free Pizza Sign

House for Sale Signs

Let’s face it; the house you buy will probably be far and away the biggest investment you ever make. It will leave you with a crippling debt for decades to come and will have you gasping in pain every time the interest rate goes up even slightly. All of this means that you will need to be very careful about buying the right place based on cold, hard financial facts. Hey, would a free pizza help you make up your mind? Go on, then. It has pepperoni on it. No extra charge!

The Multiple For Sale Signs

Best House for Sale Signs

Some sort of inner real estate instinct is telling me that Belvedere Place isn’t somewhere I want to live. After all, everyone who lives there wants out of the blooming place. I guess this could be a nice place for you if you like to meet a lot of new neighbors all the time. No word on whether any of those houses are haunted or have mice though, eh?