The Strange Accessories That Virtually Guarantee a Disastrous Christmas

Is it time yet to go stark raving bonkers and feverishly buy anything Christmas-related we can get our hands on?

There’s still some time to go before Christmas but it seems safe to suggest that you already know that the festive season is going to be a disaster. Why? Because you love strange Christmas accessories like these.

The Santa Whisky Dispenser

Strange Accessories and Disastrous Christmas

This festive abomination is wrong on so many levels that it is hard to know where to begin. Ok, for a start you know that letting the whisky flow freely over Christmas is a passport to vomit in the turkey and people scrabbling about on the floor fighting after lunch, don’t you? Then there’s the fact that the alcohol liquid is being squirted (somewhat forcefully, I might add) out of his private parts. This is all going to end messily.

An Unusual Christmas Decoration

Strange Accessories and Disastrous Christmas

There are some things in life that are worth experimenting with. Pasta, for example. Why not try adding some extra cheese to your Carbonara or stick some olives in your Bolognese? There is little to nothing that can go wrong. However, when we cast our world-weary glance at Christmas decorations we can see that most innovations aren’t so smart. Adding your car to the Christmas display outside your home is certainly ground-breaking but trust me on this one; stick to the damned pasta if you don’t want a disastrous Christmas.

Strange Christmas Music

Strange Accessories and Disastrous Christmas

Scientists have already confirmed that festive music is officially the worst thing ever invented by mankind. If you really want to torture your loved ones with some Christmas tunes then be sure to stay away from twee horrors like this one.

The Baby Christmas Tree

Strange Accessories and Disastrous Christmas

If the little fellow is celebrating his first Christmas you’ll want him to feel part of this special occasion. I know, why not cram him inside an infeasible Christmas tree outfit? You can guarantee that within 10 minutes he will fall over and start crying, causing everyone to get a headache and sucking the life out of the festive season.

A Christmas Poo for a Christmas Disaster

Strange Accessories and Disastrous Christmas

There is nothing quite like a poo hanging off your tree to get you in the festive spirit, is there? You can just imagine the look of delight on the kids’ faces when they run excitedly downstairs on a frosty Christmas morn and see this charmingly brown Christmas accessory staring them in the face.

A Christmas Chicken

Strange Accessories and Disastrous Christmas 

If there is one thing that screams “Merry Christmas” to me it is a rubber chicken. Preferably with a Santa suit on. This is quite simply a bizarre and frankly unwanted way of celebrating the festive season. The only reassuring thing about it is the fact that the box proudly states “actual size”.  Yeah, because a slightly smaller rubbed chicken decoration would just totally ruin Christmas for everyone.  It’s almost enough to have you heading straight to Santa’s genitals for another whisky.

A Christmas Tree Hat

Strange Accessories and Disastrous Christmas

Putting a silly hat on your head is a fantastic way of saying to the world, “Hey, I’m utterly wacky and I don’t care who knows about it”. If you want to look like a fool over Christmas lunch then there are few better ways of doing it.

Christmas Dinner in a Can

Strange Accessories and Disastrous Christmas

If life has taught us one thing by now it is that a self-heating Christmas dinner in a can is not going to end well. This is a festive disaster just waiting to happen.

Funny Beer Commercials You Must Watch

In an adage as old as advertising, we know that “humour sells” and, maybe not that surprisingly, it sells even better when alcohol is involved. It seems given that TV ads for wine or spirits will try to seem as classy as possible, with people in suits and evening dresses networking and communicating with each other without words. But in the case of beer ads, the funny door has been left wide open and the funny beer commercial has become a staple of American TV, dominating the Super Bowl half-time and becoming an institution in itself. Luckily enough, since the Internet has become a depository of most things past and present, many of these commercials can be watched any time on YouTube. Here are 7 funny beer commercials that are guaranteed to make you laugh.

1.     Bud Light

While many of the beer ads you will find on YouTube are labelled as “banned commercial”, most of those were actually never intended for use on television, but were devised for online distribution only. Such is the case of this 90 seconds spot from Bud Light, the king of funny beer commercials that explores the lengths an entire office would go for free Bud.

2.     Bud Light (again)

Why did I call Bud Light the king of funny beer commercials?  See for yourself: “Bud Light. The perfect beer for when you somehow find yourself in a limo with Reggie Watts and some bachelorettes, then get styled by Minka Kelly before Don Cheadle, a llama named Lilly, and the identical twin of the girl you just met take you to a party, where you defeat Arnold Schwarzenegger in a sudden-death ping pong match, that puts you onstage with OneRepublic.”

3.     Brahma Beer

This series of three Brazilian ads for Brahma raises some interesting questions, the most important one being why aren’t there more beer ads that feature a dribbling, beer-thirsty, car-thieving, lady-seducing turtle that roams the desert. While we might never know the answer to that question, we do know that one way to make your ad popular beyond the borders of your country or of your language is to use as little speech as possible in your ad, seeing how a turtle dribbling a can of beer is universally understood as being hilarious.

4.     Hahn

This ad plays on exactly the trope mentioned in the intro, building a stereotypically classy and vaguely sensual ad – presumably for some sort of bath product – just to throw it into chaos with the arrival of the beer consumer, a knowingly unsophisticated creature who clearly has a radically different opinion on what relaxation looks like.

5.     Heineken

Celebrities are also often used in beer ads, providing not just an endorsement, but a familiar face to help the commercial seem more professional and using sitcom legend Jennifer Aniston as one of the two main characters of a short, funny Heineken ad is sure to give viewers the “Friends” nostalgia that makes this one special.

6.     Heineken (again)

This Dutch commercial for Heineken was one of the most popular beer ads of the last few years. Many of the funny beer commercials on this list and on YouTube derive their humour by playing with gender differences and this ad makes it very clear that men, the main target demographic of this advertisement, have very different things to be excited about than their female counterparts.

7.     Keystone Light

A perfect example of cringe humour used to its maximum effect, this Keystone Light ad uses a situation that is likely to have happened to many of its viewers in a way that makes you feel both amused, embarrassed and sympathetic towards the main character.

 

The Nail Polish Shades We’re Most Excited about in Fall-Winter 2014

This is a post mostly for the girls in our readership, so sorry guys if we’re boring you with nail polish shades talk, but as most of my female buddies know, there’s no such thing as too many nail polish bottles in one’s collection, if you happen to have a thing for this. Getting your hands on a new order of polishes is like receiving Christmas gifts in advance or the best candy of your life. I’ve witness female friends exhibit a strange Smeagol glow in their eyes while they were unwrapping their new polish bottles and calling them “precious” (ok, that may be an exaggeration, but you get the idea). The point is, everyone using nail polishes is always a bit excited about how shiny and candy-like new nail polish shades can be, and as soon as a new season hits, it can be pretty awesome to see what new collections the big brands will release.

So, for today, we’ve made a small selection of the nail polish shades we’re most excited about in the current season of fall-winter 2014. If summer seasons are usually known for neon colors and jelly textures, when fall hits in, nail polish shades take a turn to the darker side and become rich and saturated. But besides this general guideline, not every shade you can expect to see in the fall is along the dark red or brown or plum lines. Things can get pretty interesting, especially since fall colors are usually released together with nail polish shades for the winter holidays, which are especially glitzy and creative and party-fit. Without further ado, these are the top 5 nail polish shades we’re most excited about for this current season of fall-winter 2014.

1. OPI Cinnamon Sweet (from the Gwen Stefani Winter Holiday 2014 collection)

OPI Cinnamon Sweet

OPI Cinnamon Sweet

Everyone loves red nail polish shades since they are considered a classic and feminine answer to matching almost any outfit. A drop of red can revive anything and works with every skin tone. But even though red is a classic for all the right reasons, it can also get a bit predictable and boring. Well, this seems to be precisely the kind of dilemma which the Cinnamon Sweet shade was created: a different kind of red, with a softer edge and velvet undertones crossing the borders between pink and coral. You can’t quite put your finger on what kind of a red it is, all you know is that it looks soft and pretty, like a cinnamon bun. Oh, and the color was Gwen Stefani’s idea, so now we have all the more reason to get it.

2. OPI Viking in a Vinter Vonderland (from the OPI Nordic collection for Winter 2014)

OPI Viking in a Vinter Vonderland

OPI Viking in a Vinter Vonderland

Speaking of fall colors, purple is another classic, and from all the nail polish shades that we’ve seen over the last years, Viking in a Vinter Vonderland is the prettiest. It’s as deep as a six-month Finland night and you feel tempted to stare into it as into a bottomless purple abyss. Also, any dark purple or dark blue would make a wonderful base for our next entry on the list, the star of the nail polish shades for this season.

3. OPI Comet in the Sky (from the OPI Nordic Collection for Winter 2014)

OPI Comet in the Sky

OPI Comet in the Sky

The prettiest nails in the entire galaxy, pun intended. Sure, we’ve all seen our fair share of glitter nail polishes, but not quite as fascinating as this one. Applied over a dark blue base, as in the picture here, this irregular galaxy-like glitter can create the most mesmerizing effect on your nails, the kind of thing you previously only got from a pro session at the salon.

4. Orly Tinsel (from the Holiday 2014 Sparkle Collection)

Orly Tinsel

Orly Tinsel

Another great glitter polish, this one basically screams Christmas when applied over a simple white base, as in the picture here. The long green bar glitter looks just like pine needles, white the small red glitter makes everything festive and tingly. One of the best choices of the season to apply over light nail polish shades (right after Comet in the Sky, which remains our absolute fave).

5. Zoya Dovima (from the Matte Velvet 2014 collection)

Zoya Dovima

Zoya Dovima

You will be going to a lot of parties in the coming holiday season, and a little black dress never fails to impress. While shiny and glittery nails are almost a go-to for any party opportunity, consider how classy and satin-like a matte black would look on your nails, especially one with such a delicate and eerie silver shimmer. Even though glitter nail polish shades are awesome, try something different.

The 10 Funniest Hair Salon Names

It’s clear that going to a new hairdresser for the first time is one of life’s scariest experiences. Would it help if they have a funny hair salon name for it? It sure would.

Curl Up & Dye

Funniest Hair Salon Names

This is a classic name for a hair salon in the UK, with a very nice play on words. I’m sure I’ve seen a few places with this name in my time but I can never resist a little smile every time I see one.

Hair Dot Com…b

Funniest Hair Salon Names

This is either the cleverest funny hair salon name I’ve seen or the worst. I just can’t seem to make my mind up about it. Actually, I reckon it might be the worst and most contrived but still funny.

The Chainsaw Massacre Salon

Funniest Hair Salon Names

When it comes to scary hair salon names it doesn’t get much better than the Chainsaw Massacre Salon. What the hell do they do to your hair in this place anyway? Most times I’ve had my hair cut they’ve used the traditional scissors and comb approach instead of whipping out large pieces of industrial machinery.

You’re Gorgeous, But What’s With the Hair?

Funniest Hair Salon Names

This is a very good question in this funny hair salon name. You might be smartly dressed and looking good but what about your freaking hair? If you are gorgeous but your hair is an utter disgrace then it seems to make sense to get it sorted. Why didn’t you think about this before?

Ass Hair Salon

Funniest Hair Salon Names

I have genuinely no idea why you would call your hair cutting business Ass Hair Salon. To be honest, the possible reasons for this name don’t really bear thinking about anyway.

Hairkiller

Funniest Hair Salon Names

Do you want your hair to be cut or killed? It might not be a question you are used to being asked but this funny hair salon name does just that.

Rock Paper Scissors

Funniest Hair Salon Names

This is a pretty ingenuous name for a hair salon, although I hope that the stylists don’t choose between those three different implements to cut your hair with. My nephew has just learned how to play this game but he simply chooses scissors every single time. He still manages to beat me most of the time.

Shear-N-Dipity

Funniest Hair Salon Names

This is another of those hair salon names that treads that fine line between creative genius and blooming awful puns. It is based on the word serendipity, meaning happy surprise or coincidence. Does this means that you will get a pleasant surprise when you get exactly the haircut you wanted?

Hair Potato

Funniest Hair Salon Names

This is another inexplicably funny hair salon name. In fact, I’m not even sure that it is a hair salon, although the internet tells me that it is. Why would you call your hair salon Hair Potato? It sounds like the kind of place where they would make you look like a tuber. What would you even want that?

Destroy Hair & Beauty Salon

Funniest Hair Salon Names

Do you want your hair destroyed or just cut? It’s a tough choice, isn’t it? I’m not sure if they use chainsaws in here or not. It would certainly give me a bit of fear about going in here, which might make the whole hair salon experience a bit more exciting.

Twitter Vs Facebook: What is Best?

Twitter vs Facebook is the battle of giants in the social network world. It’s difficult to compare the two websites and decide which one is ultimately a vector for the Internet’s future, due to their inherently different roles in the impossibly complex system of Internet pages. They each became online icons that cover a different niche in your needs and that can be considered the main reason why both of them survived, with neither engulfing the other. What are their strong and weak points, and how do we determine which business is better than the other? 

1.     Facebook has more features

Twitter vs Facebook

It’s not the just the two and a half years head start that Facebook’s logo has over Twitter’s. It’s also the fact that Facebook always aimed to become an all-encompassing product, going beyond the basic pokes and friend’s feed. Of course, it managed to accomplish its integration aims with various levels of success. Facebook is still the main instrument for those who want to organize events, particularly unofficial or small scale ones, like house parties or local concerts. It also has the instant chat feature that, alongside Google Hangouts, basically killed the need for an IM client like MSN or Yahoo! Messengers. Add to that the option to sync a permanent photo collection that you can choose who to share it with, the plethora of apps that are available and the “group” option, which pretty much made mailing lists obsolete. Hence, you can see why people find it so difficult to disconnect from Facebook, even when they declare their intentions in doing so, with Facebook’s management going all the way to integrate every possible online need into one product.

2.     Twitter has less features (and that’s a good thing)

Twitter vs Facebook

Twitter is keeping it simple and, although it is possible to have most of the Facebook options through third parties (the possibility of posting status updates by linking to YouTube videos, photo websites etc.) that is not and was never the point, the main appeal being still the ability to communicate small messages to large crowds. Twitter clicks much better with the millennial crowd, which know that less buttons on a device is a good thing and that it’s the freedom to use those buttons the way you want that makes or breaks a product.

3.     Twitter is for new friends, Facebook is for the old ones

Twitter vs Facebook

“Facebook is for connecting with the people you went to school with and Twitter is for people you wished you had gone to school with” they say. But the use of the word “friend” for other accounts you are connected to is not incidental. Facebook is much more a medium through which to keep contact and send messages to people you have already met, while Twitter rather enables us to follow people that you will never meet in person. In the Twitter vs Facebook debate, Twitter is the one that a fan of privacy would rather use. Twitter gives the opportunity to connect with people that you would not be connecting with in everyday life, and less of an emphasis on using a real name makes it easier to keep your Internet persona separate from your physical world.

4.     Facebook can be overwhelming and is turning into a corporate playground

Twitter vs Facebook

An Internet adage decrees that the reason Facebook is losing its young users is because “young people see Facebook the way adults see LinkedIn”. The fact that your mum, your teacher and your future (or current) boss are buying into Facebook pushed many of its users, particularly the all-important teenage demographic to other social network solutions, like Snapchat, Tumblr and Twitter. Furthermore, Facebook has become such an obvious way of reaching audiences for companies that the ads, the deceiving apps and the constant asking for likes can get quite tiresome.

5.     Both of their future is uncertain

Twitter vs Facebook

While both Twitter and Facebook continue to increase the number of users who login every day, recent studies are finding that the rate at which new users are joining in is going down and has been doing so for a while. The best guess is that some sort of social network peak has been reached for both services, which might announce the end of the Twitter vs Facebook era, with a new generation looming on the horizon.