The Most Horrifically Bad Chat-up Lines Ever Used

When you meet an attractive member of the opposite sex it can be incredibly difficult to think of something smart and interesting to say. However, what you really don’t want to do is utter one of these terribly bad chat-up lines.

Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me crazy…

Are You Jamaican Bad Chat-up Line

Good lord, that is one awful chat-up line. It’s all very well trying to break the ice with a joke but not one as a bad as this. Of course, if it turns out that the person you are speaking to is really from Jamaica then that adds a whole new level of stupidity to what you just said.

I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas

Horrific I Can Get You Pregnant Chat-up Line

Guys who use this line shouldn’t expect to be swamped by giggling ladies handing over their phone numbers. It might sound like a good chat-up line when you tell your mates you plan to use it but in the harshness of the real world you can expect nothing more than a good old slap in the face if you use it.

I like your dress, but it would look better on my bedroom floor

Bad Chat Up Lines

For those chaps who like subtlety, this is one want to avoid. Ladies can also use this line if they switch the word “dress” for “pants”.

Well hey there, I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock

Bad Chat Up Lines

Oh dear, oh dear. Once you realise that those words have actually come out of your mouth you will want the Earth to open up and swallow you. For a start, the inclusion of an old cartoon character is not advisable when you first approach someone you are interested in. It’s like saying, “Hey, do you remember the funny cat in Hong Kong Phooey?” Secondly, the poor pun it ends with is just awful.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Bad Chat Up Lines

This is a dreadful chat-up line which isn’t likely to impress anyone. It just sounds as though you are trying to woo them using a cheesy line you once read on some stupid internet article.

Did you fall from heaven…because your face is kind of lop-sided?

Bad Did you fall from heaven...because your face is kind of lop-sided? Chat Up Line

This is an interesting variant on the last line and, incredibly, it’s even worse. The first fault with this bad chat-up line is that it is just vomit inducing nonsense. Secondly, well, you are telling the person you are interested in that their face is kind of lop-sided. That’s not such a good idea, is it?

Ok, I’m here, what do you want for your next wish?

Ok, I'm here, what do you want for your next wish? ?Chat-up Line

So, you want to go for the cocky, over confident approach do you? Go on, knock yourself out kid.

Do you have any change I can borrow? My mother told me to call her when I meet the woman of my dreams.

Bad Borrow Change and Call Mom Chat Up Line

Hmm, it just isn’t going to work, is it? It just sounds stupid and fawning. It also sounds like you don’t have any money either.

Your dad must be a terrorist because he made a bomb

Bad Chat Up Lines

Instead of saying this line to another human being you might as well just slap yourself in the face, throw a drink over yourself and go home for a quiet night in on your own.

Incredible Makeup Fails: Looking Good Ain’t Supposed to Be This Difficult

Let’s start today with a simple but unavoidable truth; putting on makeup isn’t meant to be difficult. It really isn’t. Not that you would know it thanks to these incredible makeup fails. Some people make it seem as though slapping some powder and stuff on their face is almost impossible to get right.

The Twin Makeup Fail

Incredible Makeup Fails

I have no idea if these ladies are actual biological twins. What I do know is that they have a shared interest in horrifically bad makeup.

The Impressively Weird Makeup Fail

Incredible Makeup Fails

That’s a guy under all that bad makeup, isn’t it? If it is then I salute him for his impressively weird makeup.

The Celebrity Make up Fail

The Celebrity Make up Fail

This is a famous make up fail by the usually impeccable Eva Longoria. It seems as though she put some concealer or something similar on her eyes and then forgot about it. Then she went out and had lots of pictures taken of her.

Another Celebrity Make up Fail

Celebrity Makeup Fail

What in the name of the Lord happened to Drew Barrymore? Did she get in to a fight with a makeup assistant or did she fall face first into a bowl of flour? Whatever happened to the actress, she ended up with a pretty fearsome makeup fail.

Yet Another Celebrity Makeup Fail

Celebrity Makeup Fail

Doesn’t it feel great to see normally flawless celebrities sporting epic makeup fails? It sure does. In that case, let’s cast our cynical eyes over Nicole Kidman. It looks like she has a pile of cooking fat or something under her eyes and on her nose. Subtle it isn’t.

The Scary Makeup Fail

Incredible Makeup Fails

Can you imagine seeing the back view of this lady and then being freaked out as she turned round to reveal her face in all its gruesomely painted glory? A simple rule of thumb for any ladies is that if your false eyebrows are about two feet away from your eyes then you’re probably doing it wrong.

The Epic Self Tanning Fail

Incredible Makeup Fails

I think that is fake tan on her face, isn’t it? You know, I think the general idea with products like that is that you use it sparingly to achieve a subtle tanned effect. I said, a SUBTLE tanned effect.

The Magnificently Bad Makeup Fail

Incredible Makeup Fail

This one can’t be serious, can it? Could a member of the human race really do that to their face and think that it is a good thing? I love those lips, by the way.

Another Celebrity Makeup Fail

Incredible Makeup Fail

Taylor Momsen is apparently a celebrity. Until today her presence on planet Earth had passed me by entirely unnoticed. Not anymore though. Not with wonderful eye makeup like that.

The Combined Makeup and Surgery Fail

Incredible Makeup Fails

The beautiful (and I use the word carefully) thing about this picture is that it is a two in one epic fail special. The lady’s lips have been surgically enhanced to the point in which sticking a pin in them could result in a category 5 hurricane. Then she put some lovely makeup on those swollen beasts.

The Cheerful Makeup Fail

Incredible Makeup Fails

Isn’t it great to see someone smiling even thought her face looks like the aftermath of a brutal explosion in a makeup factory? This final entrant in our makeup hall of shame looks like she couldn’t care less about what a woeful job of getting ready to go out she has done.

More Hilarious Screenshots from Chat Roulette

The Internet is an interesting and fascinating place, but sometimes it is simply weird and scary. A long, long time ago we shared a post with the most Hilarious Screenshots from Chat Roulette. A sequel was needed, especially considering that so much time has passed. Since then, our beloved Steve XX has released three extra Chat Roulette videos, in which he dresses up as a chick and dances in front of the camera. As you can probably also imagine, all the publicity has led to even more amusing encounters, that luckily enough, were captured.

After seeing this photos you will probably think that no normal human being would ever log on Chat Roulette to have a serious conversation, but this is not partially true. There will always be lots of trolls in the world, but there are also some truly nice people out there. I have spend a few nights on Chat Roulette, and actually managed to make some great friends, which I still talk to. Nevertheless, since the system randomly pairs with with strangers, which may or may not be awkward, it may take some time until you find someone worthwhile.

Since we are not here to discuss about the possible love stories that you may spark on this website, let us proceed with the 20 more hilarious screenshots from Chat Roulette. Hope you enjoy them as much as we did!

1. The Butt Chin 

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1. It Must be Fate!

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How often do you get the chance to meet someone that wears the exact same glasses as you, especially considering that you have been browsing through thousands of people? It must be fate!

1. Dangerous Encounters

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Most of the times, Chat Roulette is funny. Sometimes it’s just scary.

1. The Mad Dog

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It looks like this guy experienced the scare of his life. Too bad it’s nothing but a picture of a dog, and not actually a mad dog.

1. Show me This Face #1

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We have to admire these girls for pulling off such a great face!

1. Cartoon Look-Alike

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It is not often that you get the chance to meet your cartoon self on Chat Roulette. When it happens, it is definitely worthy of a screenshot.The only thing missing is the mandolin.

1. Twins

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Is it just me, or do these girls look exactly the same? Even their expressions are identical.

1. Teddy Bear Head

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As if the Teddy Bear wasn’t scary enough, the weird guy on the bottom is even scarier.

1. Man Boobs

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This is just wrong.

1. Paris Hilton, is that You?

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It wouldn’t be the first time that we see celebrities hanging out on Chat Roulette, but Paris Hilton? Really?

1. The Burn Victim 

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1. The Disguise

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Never reveal your identity, unless you are prepared to deal with Farmville invites.

1. Do This Face #2

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Now that’s a good “Make this Face” impersonation.

1. The Butt Chin 

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5 Fruits Whose Growth Always Made You Wonder

We are pretty fond of eating exotic dishes around here and we’re more than willing to trying all things new, be it main dishes, exotic desserts, strangely flavored sweets, or snacks. And while we were looking for news in this field, we stumbled upon a very nice collection of photos of fruits, vegetables, spices, nuts and berries. Consequently, we realized that we don’t know much about certain delicious natural wonders. We are used to seeing these natural foods prepared in certain ways, so we don’t know much about how they look and grow in their natural habitat. Now it is common knowledge that oranges grow on trees and vanilla is actually a flower, but did you ever see a pomegranate tree or a field of artichokes? So instead of providing you with newly discovered flavors, places to eat strange foods, or outstanding restaurants, today we will go back to the roots, so to speak, and tell you some things about 5 fruits whose growth always made you wonder.

5. The Pomegranate Tree

pomegranate

We all love the healthy, red sparkling mysterious pomegranate fruit. Did you know that pomegranates are actually not growing on trees, but in something that is commonly described as shrubs or small trees that bear fruit? This awesome fruit has existed for centuries and is consumed heavily in North America and Europe in recent years. , Nutritionists are still amazed by its healthy features.

4. Pineapple

pineapple

Among all the fruit whose growth made you wonder, botanically speaking, the pineapple is one of the most interesting. It doesn’t grow or develop in a tree, like you would believe, but originates from a herbaceous perennial which, with some care, can also grow in your front garden in a large flower pot.

3. Mango

mango

There is indeed a mango tree. But you know what’s interesting about these wild fruit bearers? The trees can grow up to 115–131 feet (35–40 m) tall and have a very interesting crown radius that can reach even 33 feet. However, what makes them interesting is that these are very livelong trees being able to fruit even after 300 years of life. Oh, and there are over 400 different types of mango fruits, which make things even more challenging as some may wonder what exactly are they eating under the generic name of “mango”?

2. Avocado

avocado

Who hasn’t heard about the alligator pear by now?  Have you tried one of the hundreds of recipes involving this fatty (and very healthy) fruit which is not sweet like fruit should be and is often considered a vegetable? Avocados grow on trees and they belong to the same family as cinnamon, bay laurel and camphor… which is odd as we use the others as spices. The avocado tree grows up to 66 ft (20 m) and is largely commercially cultivated in orchards, as it is largely popular in many parts of the world.

1. Kiwi

kiwi

Ask anybody if they ever saw a kiwi tree and they will spend a few minutes scratching their heads. Has ANYONE seen a kiwi tree? No you haven’t, unless you live in a parallel universe! You see,  you couldn’t have seen a kiwi tree, because kiwi grow on vines, not trees, much like grapes. It is a berry cultivated in many parts of the world for commercial purposes. It tastes great and is quite popular around the world. And, for the sake of trivia, if you take a trip to the very warm regions of Serbia, you will find houses with kiwi vines growing on fences or used to shadow sunny parts of the patio or gardens. Oh, and they are DELICIOUS!

There are many other fruit whose growth always make you wonder about their origin. There is much to learn about them as well as other vegetables, nuts and spices, if ever you’re interested in their botanical specifics. For instance, who knew that what we munch and chew on and generally call cashew looks like this in its natural, raw form?

cashew

15 Funny and True Quotes by Louis C.K.

We are pretty sure that you have heard of the name Louis C.K. Before. He is one of the best comedians at present, and on numerous occasions he was even compared to Woody Allen (whose new movie he will actually be starring in). His name can easily be placed alongside that of George Carlin, another illustrious comedian who wasn’t afraid to discuss uncomfortable, yet real issues. Louis C.K has no problem to talk about things like environmentalism, education, consumption, addiction, and even masturbation (this is actually his favorite topic).

Louis C.K.

As far as biographical information is concerned, he was born on September 12, 1967 in Washington, he won an Emmy Award in 2012 and launched a national comedy tour. Although he didn’t know professional success right from the start, he became more appreciated by the public after his string of comedy specials, Live at Beacon Theater and Louie were released. Nevertheless, it is the awesome stand-up comedies that have captured the hearts of fans forever. Let’s take a look at some of Louis C.K.’s most memorable quotes:

Best Quotes by Louis C.K.:

1. When I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it’s really like magic because you transform reality for people.

3. You’ll be fine. You’re 25. Feeling [unsure] and lost is part of your path. Don’t avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. Take a breath. You’ll be okay. Even if you don’t feel okay all the time.

4. I don’t stop eating when I’m full. The meal isn’t over when I’m full. It’s over when I hate myself.

Louis C.K.

5. I finally have the body I want. It’s easy, actually, you just have to want a really shitty body.

6. I don’t think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women

7. I killed my Facebook page years ago because time clicking around is just dead time. Your brain isn’t resting and it isn’t doing. I think people have to get their heads around this thing. All this unmitigated input is hurting folks.

8. As humans, we waste the shit out of our words. It’s sad. We use words like “awesome” and “wonderful” like they’re candy. It was awesome? Really? It inspired awe? It was wonderful? Are you serious? It was full of wonder? You use the word “amazing” to describe a goddamn sandwich at Wendy’s. What’s going to happen on your wedding day, or when your first child is born? How will you describe it? You already wasted “amazing” on a fucking sandwich.

There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don’t know what that is, I’m really curious about that. I’m really curious about what people think they’re doing when they’re doing something evil, casually. I think it’s really interesting, that we benefit from suffering so much, and we excuse ourselves from it.

10. If you’re older, you’re smarter. I just believe that. If you’re in an argument with someone older than you, you should listen to ‘em. Even if they’re wrong, their wrongness is rooted in more information than you have.

Louis C.K.

11.I’m bored” is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless, it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say “I’m bored.”

12. If you’re a woman and a guy’s ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.

13. When you write from your gut and let the stuff stay flawed and don’t let anybody tell you to make it better, it can end up looking like nothing else.

14. There’s nowhere I won’t go. As long as it’s horribly, horribly true and/or wrong.

15. I’ve started to kind of hate people, and it’s not because I have anything against them. It’s just, I enjoy it. It’s recreation.

The fact of the matter is that Louis C.K says things as he sees them. He is not afraid to use dirty language in order to express his feelings or opinions, but most of the quotes above are true. Some sad, others inspiring, they help us gain a vaster perception of the world. What do you think about these quotes? Please Share your thoughts with us.