The Art of Gurning: Pulling Funny Faces Gets Serious

If you are good at pulling funny faces then you could be a world champion. Seriously. There is a world championship for something called gurning in which all you need to do is screw up your face and try to look as stupid as possible. Like these people do.

The 11 Times World Gurning Champion

Gurning and Pulling Funny Faces

Do you remember the name of the guy who won the 2010 world championships (and 10 other times as well)? Come on, you must have see him on the news. Well, his name is Tommy Mattinson and he beat off a string of rivals a few years back to claim the crown. It might look easy but I guess he spent long hours practising in front of the mirror and scaring local kids to get this far.

The Veteran Gurner

Gurning

This guy looks like he has been pulling funny faces for decades. The classic way of gurning in style is to stick out your lower jaw and then try to cover your top lip with your bottom one. Yeah, just like you are doing right now while reading this. Now go and look at a mirror, you crazy rubber faced fool. Strangely the first guy we looked at on here is the only one who doesn’t seem to do that, which marks him out as some sort of cool gurning rebel in my book.

The Classic Gurn

Pulling a Funny Face

So how exactly does one win a gurning world championship event type thing? To be more exact, how do the judges classify one funny face over the others? The rules (yes, there are rules, this is the UK after all) state that the person who manages the biggest transformation in their face without outside help is the winner. I guess that means that being incredibly attractive to begin with is probably a big help.

The Multiple Winner

The Art of Gurning

If I’m, honest I’m just about to show up my abysmal lack of gurning knowledge but I don’t care. I saw this photo and regarded it as a sort of half hearted attempted. The lady’s apparent lack of teeth mean that she could sure get this lip up higher. Come on; push out that blooming jaw, old girl. However, I did some research and discovered that this is Anne Woods. Yes, the Anne Woods. What do you mean; you don’t know who she is? She is only the person who has won the female version of the event 27 times. She has now entered the Guinness Book of Records for being the member of the human race who is able to pull the funniest face.

The World Class Gurn with a Secret

The Art of Gurning

This chap is called Peter Jackman. He is also a multiple winner of the gurning world championships. Actually, I’m beginning to get a funny feeling that not as many people enter these events as you might think. Peter has one huge advantage which he puts to good use. He lost most of the teeth in his lower jaw in an accident. While this may prove troublesome in eating chewy cuts of meat it has provided his with one of the world’s finest gurns.

The Awesome Gurn

The Awesome Gurn

Wow, this is one scary dude. I have no idea if his ability to tuck his nose under his bottom lip has ever won him universal acclaim and respect but it certainly should do. If you can emulate this face then it is probably time to consider taking up this sport on a full time basis.

The Bad Eyebrows You Can’t Help Laughing At

You might think that your eyebrows are the one part of your body which you can’t really screw up. You would be wrong. All over the world there are people walking around with ridiculously bad eyebrow fashion.

Tattoos Instead of Eyebrows

Bad Eyebrows

This guy had a clever thought once. Why, he thought to himself, don’t I get my eyebrows shaved off? Inspired by the surreal genius of this bold idea he went one step further and got Laugh Now tattooed over one eye and Cry Later over the other. So as not to leave any doubts about his taste and discretion he then got Hated By Many tattooed onto his neck.

The Weird Eyebrows

Bad Eyebrows

What on Earth went wrong here? Actually, it is far more worrying to consider that maybe nothing went wrong and that this was the weird eyebrow look she was really after all the time.

The Dotted Eyebrows

Bad Eyebrows

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it once again; “The world has gone utterly mad”. At least this woman has the good sense to look completely embarrassed about sporting horrible dotted eyebrows.

More Tattoos

Bad Eyebrows

This is what I believe experts called a Dapper Gentleman. Our hero decided to replace his god-given brows and replace them with a tattoo saying “wrongfully…convicted”. I wonder if the hair eventually grows back over the words when you do this.

The Wide Eyebrows

Bad Eyebrows

Wow, those beasts are big, aren’t they? In case you weren’t already aware, eyebrows are useful for keeping things like rain and sweat out of your eyes. With beauties like these, this lady will have dry eyes even if she stands under Niagara Falls for a couple of hours non-stop.

The Complete Package

Bad Eyebrows

This is the kind of face which fathers see in their nightmares, accompanied by their daughter’s sweet voice saying, “So, this is, like, my new boyfriend. Isn’t he a honey?” The most intriguing thing about this hunk of manliness is that his eyebrows aren’t even the scariest bits of hair on his face.

The Fish Eyebrows

Bad Eyebrows

I have called these fish eyebrows but I’m not even sure that’s what they are. No matter what they are, this fine young lady decided that they would be a good addition to her natural charms. Who am I to argue?

The Painfully Thin Eyebrows

Bad Eyebrows

As a rule of thumb, having eyebrows which are thinner than your earrings isn’t a great look. It’s not rocket science or anything; just putting your brain into gear before pencilling on really bad eyebrows like these.

The Bushy Eyebrows

Bad Eyebrows

I love these eyebrows. In fact, if eyebrow transplants ever become a feasible beauty treatment option I will rush to my nearest surgeon with this photo. Actually, I‘ve just checked it out and discovered that eyebrow transplants really exist. Hold me back. Please.

The Plant Eyebrows

Bad Eyebrows

I’m all for going back to nature and being green, I really am. I even hugged a tree at the weekend and got a warm glow from it. However, I don’t believe that it is completely unreasonable to draw the line at replacing my eyebrows with plants. In this case, the plants in question help to bring out the, err, the alluring green eye makeup, I guess.

Having a Bad Hair Day? At Least It’s Not As Bad As These Ones

We all have bad hair days now and then but I bet you never have one as bad as the ones suffered by these poor people.

The Donald Trump Hair Disaster

The Donald Trump Hair Disaster

If you were worth $2.9 billion you would be able to afford a half decent hair cut, wouldn’t you? Or a wig. Or some hair gel. Or a hat. Heck. I barely have $2.90 in my account but I’ve just worked out 4 possible solutions for him. Hey, you can thank me whenever you want Donald. To be honest, his bad hair days appear to be down to the use of a bizarre double comb over type hairstyle to hide – can you believe it? – his growing bald patch. Just go with the flow Donald, let it all hang out and you’ll have less bad hair days like this one.

The Missing Patch Day

Weird Haircut

What happened to this dude? At a guess, I would suggest that a mischievous big brother gave him a weird hair cut like that. Alternatively, he might have passed under a particularly sharp and low bridge. Whatever happened to his barnet he looks pretty cool about it, which is good to see. Actually, this raises the question of whether he even realises what how horrific his hair looks.

The Lady Gaga Bad Hair Day

Lady Gaga Weird Hair

Am I the only person who gets intensely annoyed by Lady Gaga’s bad hair? Surely not. Her array of mind numbing wigs and ridiculous styles just leave me quietly simmering some days for no real reason. You’re right; I should see a shrink.

The Phil Spector Weird Afro Thing

Phil Spector's Weird Hair

Good grief! Who is this chap who has kindly offered to allow a variety of woodland creatures to set up home in his mop? Why, it is none other than Phil Spector, The crazy ass record producer is currently in jail but during his trial for murder he wore some incredibly bad wigs, with this bizarre afro being the worst offender.

The Brad Pitt Bad Beard Day

Brad Pitt's Bad Hair and Beard Day

This photo might fall more correctly in the Bad Beard Day category but its late and I simply can’t be bothered writing a new article. Is that ok? Brad had a pretty tragic, geeky haircut in early school photos, went cool for a couple of decades and then let this happen to his hair / beard.

The Missing Hair Day

Weird Haircut

I have no idea what happened here. It just looks as though a bit of this person’s hair kind of disappeared. Which is sort of puzzling really.

The Bad Mullet Day

Bad Haircut

Ah, so the mullet isn’t dead after all? The bad haircut made famous by South American footballers and stupid people looks more fetching than ever in this photo. The shaved lines give the head a kind of streamlined grace, which is ended abruptly (some would say artistically) by a clump of flowing locks.

The Love God Hair Cut

Weird Haircut

Lock up your daughters because this is the kind of chap the ladies just can’t resist. His long, flowing hair, his sultry glare, the hearts shaved onto his body. Hang on, what? This modern day Adonis decided that having hair a pony would be proud of wasn’t enough for him to woo with. No sir, our hunky hero then decided that shaving his adorable chest hair and, err, delightful stomach hair into the shape of hearts would be a jolly good idea. He was completely and utterly right, of course.

Strange Video Game Urban Legends Every Gamer Knows About

The world of video games is indeed an interesting one. There are so many people playing, so many different games that it is really hard to keep track. Nevertheless, there are some games that have created a name for themselves, a culture around them, their own slang, netiquette and folklore. Because every gamer relishes in the full experience of the video game, he has probably attempted to complete all quests, and missions, and inevitably, discovered one of the following video game urban legends.

5. Squall is Dead

The reason why some people will never be able to play Final Fantasy without being dissapointed is Final Fantasy VII and VIII. These two series were definitely the best of their series, way ahead of their time, and with powerful story-lines and characters. One such character is Squall, the quiet, and extremely powerful protagonist, who many believe to have died because in the end of disc one, he is impaled with an ice shard by the main boss, Edea.

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From there on, the game stops being a realistic fantasy game, and becomes an over the top suprearealistic games. Many believe that Squall actually died, and everything on disc 2 is nothing but a dream that he has when life flashes before his eyes.

4. Fallout 3 Predicts the Future

Fallout 3 is one of the most cherished open world role playing games. Because it is so enormous, it should not come as a surprise that there are still many things undiscovered, even by the most serious gamers. The urban legend every gamer should know about it, is that there is something in the game that may predict the future. Apparently, the post-apocalyptic game can foresee the future in the real word, by using morse code and hidden messages within the game’s radio station.

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Nevertheless, many suspect that you can actually hear a DJ on the station rambling off such cryptic phrases, which are then followed by morse code that can be interpreted as dates. Whether this video game urban legends is true or not, is left for you to discover.

3. Minecraft: Herobrine

What makes Minecraft so bloody brilliant is its simplicity. All you have to do is mine different materials in the world, and use them to build structures, buildings and monuments that your mind can come up with. Nevertheless, certain players have reported bizarre happenings in their game.

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It seems that mysterious buildings have a tendency of appearing and dissapearing, and there is also a white-eyed person, which some think is the game’s protagonist. There has been a lot of heated discussion on the subject of Herobrine, some believe he is merely a glitch, while others actually think that he is a ghostly manifestation of the game creator’s deceased brother.

2. Berzerk

Berzerk is one of the classic epic arcade-era games that some people simply couldn’t get enough of. It also had one of the most iconic boss battles in Evil Otto, where you had to destroy a simple smiley face. Another record held by Berzerk is the first video-game to have been linked to the death of a person.

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And it didn’t stop there! Jeff Dailey died after playing Berzerk in 1981, and in 1982 another 18-year old boy, Peter Burkowski, also died while playing it. He took a few steps back from the game, and collapsed. Both causes of death were ruled heart attacks.

1. Morrowind Mod jvk1166z.esp

Out of all the video game urban legends out there, the one about Morrowind is the strangest ones. Personally, I am not a fan of Morrowind, but many gamers still consider it the best game in the Elder Scrolls series. This is probably because it has a huge open world, and wonderful community where users mod the game, add characters and armor. As a matter of fact, there is a very macabre mod in Morrowind, that could actually drive players insane. It first appeared three years ago, and people thought it was a virus at first. When players start the game all the characters are already dead, and standing still drains your life. If you die from standing still, your new character will be revealed to you, he is referred to as the assasin. 

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He has long arms and legs that can bend like a spider’s and if you pay close attention to him you can see him scurrying on walls. At night, all the NPCs would come out and when you try to interact with them they say Watch the Sky. There is also a new dungeon, which has a locked door, that nobody has managed to open. Many players have tried, and after seeing The Assasin so many times, they have actually lost their minds. Download the mod at your own risk.

So Who Else Was Born Outside the Borders of Traditional Conception?

The subject of the immaculate conception represents the fundamental building stone of Christianity. History also registered a few claims of virgin birth or human parthenogenesis, a birth that occurs outside the borders of traditional conception, which, needless to say, implies exactly what everybody knows it implies, with a few very young exceptions who didn’t reach the subject in school yet. History, also, recorded other births which cannon be labeled as normal, if you’d look at things from a cold, scientific and modern perspective. Go to a doctor and tell him you got your child out of a feather ball that fell from the sky and he will soon transfer you to the looney bin and the child to the social services day care. Now, when we say history, we also imply mythology, because let’s face it, we weren’t there when Horus was born, so everything we can do is to study old texts and archives and believe it or not. While providing a documented history of the claims of human virgin births should be interesting, it also implies a lot of research and other started some projects. We might get involved in this too, but for now, let’s see who else was born outside the borders of traditional conception and by this we mean other prophetic or divine figures present in world’s religions and cultures.

1. Horus, the Most Known Egyptian God

Now we know his mother was Isis and his father was Osiris, but when it comes to the paternity test, things get a bit complicated. There is no solid proof of what happened, because you know, very very ancient Egyptian tale, but some speculate that Osiris was killed by Isis jealous brother Set. The killer smashed and bashed poor Osiris body on the battle field and Isis used her powers to gather the pieces, put the husband back together and conceive a son with him. Now if you read historical documents, you will see that this post – mortem melodrama is told in different ways: she either revived completely the husband and conceived Horus traditionally, or she revived her husband (who lacked his … godly instrument) and built him a godly instrument to conceive Horus. Either way, Horus was not definitely a normal kid coming from this charming family and pregnancy story, but he ended up one of the most powerful Egyptian Gods.

2. Huitzilopochtli, the Aztec God of War and Sacrifice

We’d dare you pronouncing his name, but it seems impossible. It is pronounced something like Weetz-ee-loh-POSHT-lee, but we’ll call him Weetz. So he is one of the most powerful and well known Aztec gods who was born… differently. He had, obviously, a mother (few references about the father, though) and his mother was one day at the temple, being a goddess, and while she was there, a ball of feathers fell from the sky. This goddess had about other 400 sons and daughters (who lived in the sky like stars and whose paternity is yet to be established) so bringing another one to the family wouldn’t have been so odd, if the method of impregnation wouldn’t look suspicious to the 400 bunch, who came down wanting to question her kill her. But just when *it got serious, Weetz broke out of his mother’s womb and slaughtered his siblings. Now that is a one hell of a way to get born.

3. Mars, the Roman God

When it comes to Greek and Roman gods, nothing is impossible in their mythos. Rape, incest, immaculate conception, hate, betrayals and blood shed that would shame even George Martin, those were the daily fun activities. So this guy Mars, who later became the God of War has an interesting story to begin with. Since Romans had a soft spot for Greek culture and myths, they wanted a war god of their own, and since Ares was too Greek for them, Mars gained this coolness aura which made him become very popular, very from the hood, so to speak. But Mars has no father, go figure, or he has a step one at most. Jupiter was the ruler of them all, and he was so badass, he gave birth to his daughter Minerva by himself, while the little progeny spawned out if his godly head. Neat trick, but Jupiter’s wife, Juno, got pissed of her husband going separate ways and decided she wanted a child of her own, without his help. So any normal woman at this point would have cheated with another male figure. But Juno was even cooler than Jupiter and went to another goddess, Flora, and asked HER to help her conceive a child. Put your dirty thoughts away, Flora touched Juno with a magic flower and thus she got impregnated with Mars. Now you can all think about it.

Who else was born outside the borders of traditional conception? We have Qi, a Chinese God who popped up in his mother’s womb after she stepped in the giant footstep of the most powerful god that ruled back then and since he had no Earthly father, he ended up yet another deity. Buddha also has an interesting conception story and if you are curious enough, there are many others more.