Movies So Awful You Can’t Disengage

There’s a fine line between “artistic expression” and just plain drivel. A line whose first and only dependable guardian is Sir Self-Censorship.

But for some “artists” (usually of the self-proclaimed species), this trusty knight and retainer is mysteriously absent. Perhaps felled by the bloated, gorged and out of control Werewolves of Ego…

Cinematography is no stranger to such examples. It has plenty of movies that make us think it would have been better and more productive for everyone if the makers would have just went out for a beer and procrastinated instead on that particular evening of their conception. Movies so awful you can’t disengage, as paradoxically as that is.

How to describe them?

You know that feeling when it’s like you just stepped into a different dimension with your shoe-laces untied on mismatched shoes and a winter cap pulled over your eyes so you can barely see the bizarre discard-the-laws-of-physics things happening around?

Of course you don’t. But you might if you try to figure out the rationale behind these following gems hunted and discovered by Rotten Tomatoes’ regular contributor Michael Adam as research for his book “Showgirls, Teen Wolves and Astro Zombies”.

1. Showgirls – 1995

Showgirls, one of the movies so awful you can't disengage.

When you try to make a movie about the dramatic lives of Las Vegas strippers and casino workers, you’d better get your cohesion on. A little intensity and a dash of careful psychological study wouldn’t hurt either. Not to mention other elements like researching the local “culture” and behavior, pacing etc.

Which is what doesn’t happen in this attempt by writer Joe Eszterhas and director Paul Verhoeven of “Basic Instinct” fame. The dialogue tries to be “incisive” and “raw” but fails, the love scene between Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle MacLachlan fails to arouse. In short, the whole construction fails like a conglomeration of badly placed Tetris parts.

2. The Giant Spider Invasion – 1975

Among the movies so awful you can't disengage is The Giant Spider Invasion.

Mix up not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed rednecks, summarily dressed redneckettes, off-world genocidal spiders initially small and looking suspiciously like your average tarantulas until you get introduced to the giant hulking unstoppable monster version and what do you get? Well, “The Giant Spider Invasion”. Oh, and the giant spider is actually a VolksWagen car in a spider suit with the people inside twitching the “legs” to make it look realistic.

3. Howling II – Your Sister Is A Werewolf – 1985

Movies so awful you can't disengage, featuring Howling 2: Your Sister Is A Werewolf.

Supposedly a sequel of the 1981 original by Joe Dante, this masterpiece is what happens when an erotic horror attempt goes off its arguably tiny wheels to begin with and smashes into the dense forests of Ridiculous Land to turn into a blazing, eye-catching mess.

It stars Christoper Lee as an occult investigator matched against the werewolf Queen Stirba (Sybil Danning) and her servants. The acting (or lack of) by co-stars Annie McEnroe and Reb Brown is cringe-worthy, the make-up effects are so good they make you think of candy and there’s a theme song by Babel as enticing as a dripping water faucet. And more.

4. The Black Gestapo – 1975

Here's one of the movies so awful you can't disengage: The Black Gestapo (1975).

Wait… what? Safe to say certain producers need a historical dictionary or some-such, preferably applied with sufficient force to the side of the head. “Ge – sta – pooooh. Sink in yet? …. That’s right. … No, you can’t make the Gestapo officers black. It would be like making Malcom X a White Supremacist. Glad I could help. Run along and procrastinate now. It’s better for everybody”.

What other negative things can one say more about this movie that aren’t blatantly obvious by the title? Well, since you ask, the pacing and production ain’t quite peachy either. And it features the line “The new master race” in relation to the Black Gestapo. Aaaand a Hitleresque vibe when Kojah (the protagonist) holds a speech from a platform and says “The white community will feel our power!”.

5. Death Bed: The Bed That Eats – 1977

Movies so awful you can't disengage? Try Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

This one was so odd that even its release is out of the ordinary patterns. Although finished in 1977, it was released 3 decades later illegally, in the UK, because someone had managed to pirate a copy and make a video release DESPITE the fact that filmmaker George Barry hadn’t succeeded in acquiring any distribution. As these things tend to go, the movie naturally got a cult following, prompting an official release in 2003. A happy ending for the 6 years(!) of effort put in by the filmmaker (Barry started working on it in 1971). As for the theme of the movie, the title is eloquent: a bed digests various characters.

Image source: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

8 Amazing Portraits From Wes Anderson Movies

Wes Anderson is a movie director who created some of the most interesting characters in movie history so far. He has a natural born talent and started writing plays since he was a child.

His doors were opened by Owen Wilson who became his friend and they started making short movies. One short movie called “Bottle Rocket” had very good reviews. It was loved so much by the public that Anderson received funding to turn it into a long movie. Although it did not make it big at the box office it became a cult classic and placed Anderson as one of the best movie directors of all times.

Here is a list of 8 Amazing Portraits From Wes Anderson Movies.

1. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)

 The Royal Tenenbaums are portraited on 8 Amazing Portraits from Wes Anderson Movies

This movie is about one weird family and their quirks. Actors like Angelica Huston and Gwyneth Paltrow give an extraordinary performance as unique characters. The Tenenbaums are not a normal family, they are a family of geniuses. The story focuses on the reunion of all the family members and their disagreements.

2. Rushmore (1998)

Jason Schwartzman in Rushmore is one of the 8 Amazing Portraits from Wes Anderson Movies

Jason Schwartzman can be seen in many Wes Anderson movies. He is one of the few talented actors that speaks Anderson’s language. Rushmore is about one academic student and how his life unravels taking with him everybody. Bill Murray’ career was established after staring in this film and he worked almost for free and event helped with the budget.

 3. The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

The lobby boy from The Grand Hotel Budapest is one of the 8 Amazing Portraits from Wes Anderson Movies

This movie won 4 Oscars. Needless to say it is a masterpiece. It’s what we all expected from Wes. This movie is about what happens beyond The Grand Budapest hotel. It tells the life of Gustave H, the hotel’s concierge and the lobby boy. I do not want to spoil the movie for you but be sure to see it. It involves theft, death and a changing world.  Bill Murray also stars in it, as well as many other high ranked movie stars.

4. The Darjeeling Limited (2007)

 The three brothers from The Darjeeling Limited are one of the  8 Amazing Portraits from Wes Anderson Movies

This movie won the Venice Film Festival award. Here we get to see Jason Schwartzman again in a story about 3 brothers that travel to India after their father’s funeral. This movie is about family, reconnection and discovering who you really are in unforeseen circumstances. We also get to see Anderson’s long time friend Owen Wilson as well as Adam’s Brody amazing performance.

5. Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

 Fantastic Mr. Fox  is on the 8 Amazing Portraits from Wes Anderson Movies

Wes Anderson’s adaptation of Fantastic Mr. Fox is considered ground breaking. It tells the story of a cocky fox that helps the other animals survive the changing world around them. Do not think of this movie as a kid’s movie because it appeals to older audience as well. Bill Murray plays here the voice of the Badger and we also get to hear George Clooney’s voice as Mr. Fox.

6. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)

Steve Zissou is one of the 8 Amazing Portraits from Wes Anderson Movies

Here Bill Murray is an oceanographer called Steve Zissou, who goes on a journey to seek and destroy the shark that killed his partner. He embarks on a life changing adventure along with his estranged wife, a journalist and a man that might be his son. I’m not going to spoil the ending for you but it will be worth your time. Here we also get to see Owen Wilson.

7.  Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

 Moonrise Kindom has characthers that belong on 8 Amazing Portraits from Wes Anderson Movies

This movie focuses on the story of two misunderstood kids that run away together, leaving people searching for them impatiently. Here we also get to see another amazing performance from Bill Murray as the father of the girl that runs away. This time we are also introduced to Captain Sharp played by Bruce Willis who fits perfectly into this movie. Jason Schwartzman also makes an appearance as Uncle Ben.

8. Bottle Rocket (1996)

Bottle Rocket's characters are on 8 Amazing Portraits from Wes Anderson Movies

Bottle Rocket is the short play that eventually turned into a movie which launched Wes Anderson on the path of great movie directors. The story is simple. It portrays three friends that want to pull off a robbery and then run away together. Here we get to see both Wilson brothers act, Owen and Luke.

Image source: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

5 Things The Hobbit Movies Spent Money On

The Lord of the Rings trilogy movies were amazing, both story wise and visually. Peter Jackson did one hell of a job with these movies. I myself can say that I have watched the movies a bunch of times and still find them great and entertaining.

The Hobbit movies not that much since they were kind of milking it from only one book. Not to mention that they cost a lot.  Once you see the movies you begin to wonder on what exactly was that money spent on. Once you will see the list, you will definitely find it way too ridiculous. Here is a list of 5 things The Hobbit Movies Spent Money On.

 1. $2 million went on per Book Page

2 million dollars per page is amongst the 5 Things The Hobbit Movies Spent Money On

Ok imagine this, one book that made 3 whole movies. There were not a lot of pages, a rough number of 424 pages, this includes the book plus the appendices. The last Hobbit movie was about 144 minutes long so that means around 53 pages per hour. The difference here is that on the original Lord of the Rings trilogy we are looking at 122 pages per hour from a total of 1,137 pages.

All the three Hobbit movies had about $740 million budget so that means about $240 million per movie. Doing some simple math this will give us around $2 million spent per page. This is crazy don’t you think?

2.  Advertising

Airplane commercials are on the list of 5 Things The Hobbit Movies Spent Money On

All movies set a certain budget for advertising and they spend more if they think the movie will be a blockbuster. This is what happened with The Hobbit trilogy as well. It is estimated that they have spent around 155 million dollars only on advertising the movies. Just to make a point, it is more expensive than the whole cost of production for The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.

The funny part is that they even shot a video for airline companies regarding safety, you can see Frodo talking about what you need to do while flying. This is way too much.

3. Unique characters

The costumes for the dwarves are on the 5 Things The Hobbit Movies Spent Money On

If you think the airline commercial was enough, think again. The budget was also spent on pimping out the dwarves. Each had highly maintenance wigs and beards made from the finest yak hair. All dwarves have used a total 547 weapon props. But hey, it’s all for the sake of authenticity. Who can forget these dwarves? I for one cannot tell them apart. They pretty much look the same to me, one uglier than the other.

4. 3D High Frames

5 Things The Hobbit Movies Spent Money On involves the 3D High Frames

The Hobbit franchise tried to approach a unique way of making movies by using 48 frames per second technology. Of course, this was pretty expensive and in reality the visual impact is not that great. Some people actually got sick and dizzy when they watched the movies in HD. I chose to watch the normal 3D version.

5. CGI Effects

5 Things The Hobbit Movies Spent Money On like Rivendell made in a green room

I have no words for how disappointed I was when I saw this CGI abomination. They forced CGI scenes to remind us how cool the scenery is in New Zeeland. Instead of the actual nature, actors were placed behind green walls. Why spend some money on the actual location when you can stay behind big green walls and spend even more for the unnatural look the CGI provided.

Lord of the Rings did a great job in transporting us to the realm of Middle Earth. The scenes, the places, just thinking about them now makes we want to watch them again. One great example is what they did for the amazing view of Rivendell. They used a miniature version and sprinkled a bit of CGI. It made the view astonishing. I wanted to move there.

On the other hand The Hobbit movies went all out to spend money on full CGI effects that looked so bad, you kind of had the impulse to look away and wait for certain scenes to be over.

Don’t get me started on the orcs. In The Lords of the Rings they were pretty scary, real and bad ass.  In The Hobbit, not that much. They received a full CGI makeover and destroyed all their appeal. Sadly these Hobbit movies can only be watched once and it is enough.

Image source: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

What the Cast of Six Feet Under is Doing Now

It’s been 10 years since HBO ended the five season TV show Six Feet Under. Some people were shocked, some cried, but in the end this season finale was one of the most discussed finale in the history of TV shows.

Back then the cast was mostly consisting of unknown people. Now 10 years later, some of these actors have reached stardom, others mostly have guest roles. Here is what the cast of Six Feet Under is doing now.

Peter Krause (Nate Fisher)

What The Cast Of Six Feet Under Is Doing No welcomes Peter KrauseAfter he wrapped up Six Feet Under, Peter moved on quite nicely. You can also see him play Adam Braverman on NBC’s Parenthood which lasted for six seasons. Peter’s next role will be a conman.He will play in ABC’s drama The Catch.

Michael Hall (David Fisher)

What The Cast Of Six Feet Under Is Doing Now includes Michael HallAfter finishing Six Feet Under, Michael hit the jackpot with his role as Dexter in the TV series with the same name. His role became iconic and was watched by many people. You might also want to know that Michael married and divorced his on-screen sister Debra Morgan played by Jennifer Carpenter.

After wrapping up this show in 2013, Michael is now moving onto the big screen starring in the movie entitled Christine which will be released in 2016.

Lauren Ambrose (Claire Fisher)

What The Cast Of Six Feet Under Is Doing Now presents Lauren AmbroseAfter the show ended Lauren went on to play more science fiction parts like the Doctor Who spin-off called Torchwood and then the adventure series Dig. Her next role will be in the reboot of the X-Files. You can also see her in movies such as Wanderlust and Grassroots. Lauren is the voice of Natasha Fatale / Anita Radcliffe in Robot Chicken.

Frances Conroy (Ruth Fisher)

What The Cast Of Six Feet Under Is Doing Now welcomes Frances Conroy Frances became Neil Patrick Harris mother on How I Met Your Mother as Loretta Stinson, Barney’s mother. After this she landed a part in all 4 seasons of American Horror Story, where she is amazing. We are now waiting for season five to start because she will star in this one also.

Rachel Griffiths (Brenda Chenowith)

Rachel Griffiths is part of What The Cast Of Six Feet Under Is Doing NowRachel starred in Brothers & Sisters from 2006 until 20111. Now she will soon appear in the TV movie called Stalking Julia where she will be playing former Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard. You can also see her in the NBC TV show called Camp.

Mathew St. Patrick (Keith Charles)

What The Cast Of Six Feet Under Is Doing Now introduces Mathew St. Patrick

 

Since Six Feet Under has ended Mathew’s most important roles consists of guest starring in hit TV shows. He made an appearance on NCIS and Private Practice. He also appeared in five episodes on Sons of Anarchy. He was August Marks’ right-hand man. His last appearance is in the short film Eddie and the Aviator.

Freddy Rodriguez (Federico “Rico” Diaz)

 

What The Cast Of Six Feet Under Is Doing Now contains Freddy Rodriguez

You can now see Freddy in Night Shift as Michael Ragosa, the show is being produced by NBC. His other roles include starring in 12 episodes in Ugly Betty for a total of two years. He also starred in CBS produced show called Chaos. Too bad it only had one season after this the show got cancelled.

Jeremy Sisto (Billy Chenowith)

What The Cast Of Six Feet Under Is Doing Now also has Jeremy Sisto

 

Sisto stares in the supernatural reboot called The Returned. Jeremy played in the TV show called Suburgatory. He was pretty funny. He also signed to start in a new TV show entitled Wicked City with Ed Westwick from Gossip Girl. Soon, in 2016, we will see him playing along with Ron Perlman in Sara’s Cell. This will be one interesting show.

Justina Machado (Vanessa Diaz)

What The Cast Of Six Feet Under Is Doing Now contains Justina Machado

 

Her career did not exactly kick in after Six Feet Under. You can see her playing guest roles on n Private Practice from 2012 until 2013. She also appeared on ABC Family’s The Fosters in 2013. Other guest roles include: Desperate Housewives, Devious Maids and Switched at Birth.

Image source: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

14 Facts About Home Improvement

Home improvement was a 1990s TV sitcom that documented the Life of Tim the “Toolman” Taylor. This sitcom launched Tim Allen’s career and had a good run for almost 10 years. The series centers on comedian Tim and his family. It was one of the highest rated sitcoms for almost an entire decade.

If you love Tim Allen then you can’t miss our 14 facts about Home Improvement. The 90s were crazy, but I didn’t thought they were that crazy for Hollywood.

Tim Allen Turned Down Roles

14 Facts About Home Improvement - Tim Allen

Tim admitted to New York Times that he turned down iconic roles such as the ones in Dead Poets Society and the TV version of Turner and Hooch because he wanted his own sitcom. Disney made the magic happen by hiring Matt Williams, the creator of Roseanne, to produce it.

Jill Was Played by Frances Fisher

14 Facts About Home Improvement - Frances Fisher

In the pilot, Jill was played by none other than Frances Fisher. She is well known for her dramatic roles in Unforgiven and Titanic.  Frances was casted as Tim’s wife Jill but after shooting the pilot she was replaced. Since the crowd did not like her, Patricia Richardson took her part.

Stephen Tobolowsky Was Al

14 Facts About Home Improvement - Stephen Tobolowsky

Stephen was casted as Al, Tim’s Tool Time partner. While everybody was waiting for ABC to give the green lights for the sitcom, Stephen dropped out. He wanted to financially secure his family so he was looking for movie roles. While he could have had a good run with Home Improvement, Stephen got to star in Groundhog Day.

Richard Karn’s Part

14 Facts About Home Improvement - Richard Kran

Richard was sent to traffic school because he did not halt at a stop sign. This is where he met the agent who told him about Home Improvement, securing an audition and eventually his role.

Ashley Judd Got Rejected

14 Facts About Home Improvement - Ashley Judd

She auditioned for the Tool Time girl but she got rejected because she was way too gifted for such a tiny roll. The producer came up with the perfect role for Ashley which was as Tim’s sister. Judd’s agent refused his proposal as the actress decided she wanted to appear in movies.

Randy Was The Oldest

14 Facts About Home Improvement - Jonathan Taylor

Randy (Jonathan Taylor Thomas) was older than his other two on set brothers. He was born on September 8th 1981, which made him one month older then Brad (Zachery Ty Bryan).

Tool Time Audience

14 Facts About Home Improvement - The Tool Time Audience was a hit

People wanted to go to Home Improvement tapings because Tim Allen was a true comedian. Oh, yes and the fact that some got the chance to appear on episodes.

Allen’s Clothes

14 Facts About Home Improvement - Allen's Clothes

There was a rule on the set that all Tim’s clothes would be only from schools and universities from his home state of Michigan. There was one accident in the episode “Al’s Video” where Tim wears Wofford College sweatshirt, which is in South Carolina.

An airport runway got shutdown

14 Facts About Home Improvement - Burbank Airport

In “The Great Race II” a Burbank Airport runway was closed to shoot the climactic scene.

Wilson’s full name was Wilson W. Wilson

14 Facts About Home Improvement - Wilson’s full name was Wilson W. Wilson

In the series final episode, Wilsons’s full face was revealed.

Hillary Clinton

14 Facts About Home Improvement - Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton’s press secretary reached out to the studio with the idea of having the First-Lady on the show. This was not meant to be in the end.

Super Nintendo Game

14 Facts About Home Improvement - Super Nintendo Game

As Home Improvement gained popularity, Super Nintendo released “Home Improvement: Power Tool Pursuit”. The gameplay consists of Tim searching for missing tools and fighting actors dressed as dinosaurs and other creatures.

Jonathan Taylor Thomas

14 Facts About Home Improvement - Jonathan Taylor Thomas

Thomas left the show during the final season to concentrate on his school life. In 2013 he guest starred in Tim Allen’s latest sitcom called Last Man Standing

Ninth season

14 Facts About Home Improvement - The Ninth Season was the last

There was a plan for a ninth season but both Allen and Richardson turned down very generous offers. Richardson was offered $25 million and Allen was offered $50 million. Home Improvement ended with 8 seasons and 203 episodes.

Image Source: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14