by Will Conley

It's five minutes to midnight.

It is a fact that the SOPA and PIPA bills currently being debated in the United States Congress are harbingers of doom and destruction for the Internet as we know it. It has yet to be confirmed whether SOPA is indeed asking for the first-born child of all Web developers, or whether PIPA in fact calls for daily sacrifices of World of Warcraft addicts to the Mayan feathered serpent god Kukulkan.

What is clear is that SOPA and PIPA opens the door to legions of leathery-winged lawyers who are bloodthirsty to swarm the Internet with lawsuits for any and all sites that so much as link to a blacklisted website. Oh, the bills claim not to encourage blacklists, but that’s silly. You can’t keep track of which sites are bad, naughty sites that have allegedly pirated content, without maintaining lists.

So which websites will be put at risk of being shut down by SOPA and PIPA? We here at This Blog Rules have peered into the future using our magic decoder ring found at the bottom of a bottle of tequila, and this is what we came up with. The 13 most popular and important websites (by Alexa ranking and the author’s whim) that fall under the purview of SOPA/PIPA are as follows.

by Will Conley

We see nothing wrong with this awesome trick.

Almost a year ago, we published a list of the ten worst parent fails from MyBadParent.com. In retrospect, how can we claim to say which parenting fails are the worst, when there are so many to choose from?

Why play favorites with the parents who store their toddler in a glorified window planter on one of the higher floors of a high-rise apartment building, when there are so many qualified parents who can play Leaf Blower G-Force Face with the best of them?

It’s really not fair to choose and rank these gloriously bad parents, so we’re releasing a few more examples of bad parenting, all of which are worthy of honorable mention at the very least.

James Bond is cool. We know he is and we love him for it. But Bond’s gadgets and suave sex appeal (if you’re into that sort of thing) are not the only reasons for the franchise’s fan base and longevity over the past decades. It is the villain, the rival, the nemesis of Mr. Bond – and his continued distinction and rogue tactics – that has brought the books and the films to the fore of franchising. But who have been Bond’s greatest adversaries?

Unless you have some sort of stupid allergy against wheat or pepperoni or what have you, I’m guessing you absolutely love pizza; they’re crusty discs of bread smothered with cheese, tomatoes, mushrooms, olives, ham and even pineapples, for god’s sake! To us mere mortals, they’re godly meals that tickle our taste buds and fill our unworthy stomachs. But we’re not the only species on planet Earth that enjoys devouring slices of pizza; no, no – cats do too.

Yes, as you’ll see in the rib-tickling pictures arranged below, our feline companions also enjoy the scrumptious taste of Italy’s finest invention. They enjoy all sorts of pizzas, from cheese and tomato to spinach and ricotta. They like deep-dish, thin-crust, small, medium and large. They’re regular old Garfield wannabes and unashamed to say so. Now, go on, take a peek, but no snatching any slices; kitties have got claws, remember.

Pickup lines, as a rule, generally suck. Everyone knows one when they hear one, and a lot of times are not impressed by them. Even at their best, pickup lines are tacky and silly sounding, and even those are a rarity.

They are remarkably similar to Christmas sweaters in this aspect.

I have noticed, though, that pickup lines can be sorted into groups, based on what kind of awful person they make you look like. First impressions are everything, and since all this person knows about you is that you just tried to hit on them by hitting them with a snappy one liner, it’s going to force them to draw some conclusions about your everyday demeanor. For simplicity’s sake, the situations described are based on a man trying to hit on a woman, since this appears to be the most common scenario.