Almost everybody likes to indulge in a lump of brightly coloured sugar now and again; after all, those E-numbers sure are delicious. However, influenced by changes in tastes, technology and popular culture, the candy industry has really had to step up its game recently, and as a result various companies have ended up producing a bizarre array of products that elicit responses ranging from mildly baffled to OH GOD NO, I WILL NOT PUT THAT IN MY MOUTH EVEN IF YOU PAY ME. Here follow a few of the weirdest sweets around at the moment: consume at your own peril.
Giant Gummy Worm
The giant gummy worm is alarming for a number of reasons.
In the world of film, an elevator can be a wonderful source of comedy and drama. An elevator is something many people use every day, whether this be in an apartment building, at work or at a shopping mall. People share elevators with others, with which naturally comes a whole heap of awkwardness – you have to stand in a big metal box in complete silence, waiting impatiently for the elevator to reach your floor, all the while trying to hold in that big fart you’ve been holding in ever since you stepped foot through the automatic doors. With all of this natural tension, it’s of little wonder that cinema has latched onto this everyday experience.
There has been much talk and hand-wringing over the Mayan predictions for the year 2012. Some say the world will end. Others say 2012 will mark a new beginning in the human condition, a wonderful transformation of consciousness into a higher plane of awareness. Well, we had our gods of choice check it out, and they told us it’s all bull. That is to say, the specific predictions — apocalyptic earthquakes and such — are not actually the way things are going to shake out.
Don’t get us wrong, things are about to get ugly, that’s totally true, but not in the way you thought they would. And yes, there will be a shift in consciousness, but by “shift” we mean the same way in which your dog “shifts” as he tends to a private itch by sitting on the carpet and spinning around in circles.
The following revelations were handed down to us by said gods of choice through the prophet Will Conley, whose qualifications for this sort of thing include a journalism background and a New Year’s Eve hangover. The revelations were inscribed by lightning onto his upper arm in the form of a tattoo.
The information contained herein is guaranteed to be accurate. We offer it to you as a public service out of the goodness of our hearts. It’s not like we stand to profit from your very genuine fears. It’s not like we have a vested interest in exacerbating your deep-seated and debilitating anxieties about the future of your existence. We just care!
The following is a direct transcript of that glorious tattoo of true predictions.
Combining modern technology with more traditional art techniques is an interesting symbiosis that can produce magnificent results. A Miami-based Indian-American artist, NFN Kalyan, took his hand drawn artwork and used a laser etching device commonly employed to make holograms; the result was spectacular 3D sculptures that wow everyone who views them.
A real estate agent from Chicago, Illinois picked up his pencils and began to draw masterpieces with them, something he hadn’t done since he was a teenager 30 years ago. The results are so incredible that it’s hard to believe that he has had no formal art education.
