Remember as a kid, before becoming consumed with social media, there was a time when we sat in front of the television to watch our favorite saturday morning programs? We used to eat our cereal while watching those programs and would be as excited when the commercials came on. That’s when we would decide which cereals to pick on our next shopping trip. Some cereals survived the test of time, while others staying for a brief period. Here are some cereals from the past that really never got their chance to shine and be eaten by us sugar loving kids.

Rice Cream Flakes (1968)- Nabisco

Photo Credit: chollingsworth3 via Compfight cc

What’s one thing that’s better than sugary cereal? How about sugary ice cream? Rice Cream Flakes were introduced in 1968 in New York for market testing. There were three flavors introduced at that time, vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. Rice Cream Flakes were doomed to fail as Nabisco hired Oregon Freeze-Dried Foods as its supplier of its ice cream, but the company soon went out of business and no other supplier was found. Rice Cream Flakes soon followed and we were left with only thoughts of what they would have tasted like.

History

Have you recently went to the movies and experienced the endless commercials before the actual movie started? Well, in the past, when movies were beginning to be shown in theaters or cinemas in the late 1890′s, that didn’t exist as a form of advertising. The very first modern or storefront type theater in the United States opened on June 26, 1896 at the Vitascope Hall on Canal Street in New Orleans, Louisiana.

At the time, more and more theaters popped up throughout the United States and it became a popular form of entertainment. These theaters would show the popular movies of the time. Almost like the establishments were grooming the theaters to become a classy form of entertainment.

Until…

The 1930′s and 1940′s would show the fans of movie theaters that they had a degenerative side to them as well, well in the eyes of those who didn’t appreciate things like humor and the like.

To give the customer more bang for their buck, movie houses would present a double feature and start the show with a cartoon and a newsreel. The first film was usually shorter than the main film. The main, feature length film was called the “A” movie by the theater owner and the first movie shown was called the “B” movie. The “B” movie was usually low budget and starred most unknown or little known actors. The “B” movie was said to be, by the patrons, entertaining in a non-flattering way.

The “B” movies were shown in theaters until the 1950′s, when the Drive-Ins began showing these movies every weekend. These Drive-Ins shown the “B”movies because the teenagers were rarely paying attention to the flick,  they were too busy making out in their cars. By the end of the 1970′s, Drive-Ins started showing mainstream movies such as “The Omen” and exploitation and pornographic films.

For a while, “B” movies were hard to find until customers began to purchase the big technological advancement called the “VCR”, or video cassette recorder. The cassettes were called “VHS” tapes and that is when the “B” movies were accessible within the comfort, and privacy, of the customers home. The “VHS” tape cover art was as good, or bad, as the movies themselves. Some people even rented these tapes based on the cover art from the video store, all the while, getting a raised eyebrow from the store clerk.

Characteristics of B Movies

Some ways to detect a “B” movie from a mainstream movie include:

• Unknown actors or little known actors such as Shannon Tweed and Fred Ward.
• Low budget. Usually five hundred thousand dollars or less.
• Innovative design or shooting. Think “The Blair Witch Project” shaky camera.
• Odd or out of the box subject matter
• Genre specific – Action, Horror, etc.

Notable Directors, Actors, and Movies

Directors

The most famous “B” Movie director of all time is arguably Roger Corman. Corman directed over four hundred movies including “Sharktopus”, “Death Race 2000″, Swamp Women” and “Caged Heat”.

Johnathan Demme directed “Crazy Mama” and co-directed “Caged Heat” with Roger Corman before directing bigger movies such as “Silence of the Lambs”.

Lloyd Kaufman is the “Troma Film” king! Kaufman is the creator and director of the “Toxic Avenger” movies and such classic “B” movies as “Bloodsucking Freaks” and “Class of Nuke ‘Em High”. Kaufman has directed over one thousand movies, most of them “B” movies.

Actors

Have you ever heard of Bela Legosi or Pam Grier? What about Vincent Price? They all got their start in “B” movies.

Bruce Campbell of “Evil Dead” fame has starred in many “B” movies such as, well, “Evil Dead”.

Sid Haig from Rob Zombie movies “House of 1,000 Corpses” and “The Devil’s Rejects” has starred in many “B” movies since the 1970′s.

Movies

With choices such as “Killer Klowns from Outer Space”, “Basket Case”, Two Thousand Maniacs” or “Alligator”, you can make up an idea and it’s probably a “B” film. Want to watch a movie about a mama’s boy that runs over people with a lawnmower? Fine, it’s called “Dead Alive”. How about a movie where a father flushed his kids small pet alligator down the toilet and it grows in the New York City sewer system and returns as a giant killer? That exists too as “Alligator”.

“B” movies are horrible, great, exciting, crazy, awful, fun, bloody, bad, and humorous all in one great package. When searching for a movie to watch, don’t underestimate a great ” B” movie. You may not be disappointed.

When I first heard that the job of Pope was soon going to be free I was kind of tempted to send off an application to Rome. I mean, who wouldn’t want to sit around all day hearing juicy confessions and having everyone you meet kiss your ring?

However, the more I thought about it the more I realized that this job just isn’t for me. If you want to want to know why you should avoid putting your name forward for the next conclave then here are the top reasons.

1. No Cutting Edge Clothes

Any job description which mentions the need to wear a uniform which includes items like a house dress, a chasuble and a cassock immediately sets alarm bells ringing, doesn’t it? When did you ever see a Pope wearing jeans or a nice jacket? You would think that the trendy Italians would come up with some of racy, cutting edge designs like semi transparent cassocks and mitres with GPS and a Wi-Fi connection. Sadly you would need to wear the same sort of gear which your predecessors wore centuries ago and which probably weren’t even in fashion back then.

2. I Would Need to Speak How Many Languages?

Learning one language kind of sucks but to be the Pope you need to know lots of them. For a start, everyone around you speaks in a dead language and they expect you to communicate with everyone in the world in their native language. You can’t exactly rock up to Buenos Aires or Paris and say, “Hey, I am just going to do this mass thing in English if you don’t mind”. Pope John Paul II famously learned 12 foreign tongues but all that studying wouldn’t leave you a lot of time for watching American Idol after mass.

3. The Popemobile Is Not a Good Look

I mean, what is that thing? Can you buy one of those from your local Popemobile dealer or did they make it especially for the Pontiff? I don’t think you can get up to any great speeds in the Popemobile and another drawback is that if you ever crashed into a parked car or ran over a dog the cops wouldn’t have too much trouble finding out who was to blame.

4. You Can’t Dabble with the Ladies

Wouldn’t it be a great chat up line; “Hi, I am the Pope. Do you want me to hear your confessions now or in the morning?” Sadly, the ladies will be off limits for you from the moment you slip on the papal cassock for the first time. You could throw yourself into the job and start taking bromide in your tea like British soldiers but at some point you are going to feel the urge to do something which Popes simply can’t do.

5. Drinking Heavily Is Probably Out of the Question

I have always wondered what the wine that priests drink tastes like. Is it good enough that you would fill your chalice up to the brim and truly savor it while you were reading mass? I guess all that incense in the air would give it a certain earthiness but I am not sure I could get the idea of it really being blood out of my head. It is the only chance you would have to drink so you would want to make the most of it, though. After all, you aren’t going to be able to drive round the Vatican City in the Popemobile while wearing your house dress and swigging from a bottle of whisky without causing a bit of a stir.

Anything by Sasha Baren Cohen.

VERY NICE!

Yes, he’s married to the hot woman from Wedding Crashers, but he also writes and directs movies  with lots of “wang”.  Farting and penis jokes aside, Sasha’s movies are crude and they abound with low brow humor.

Om nom nom.

Whipped

Movies with sexual jokes can be a turn on for sure.  But when the movie opens with a scene about rimming, and the disgusting

reasons it isn’t always a good idea, awkward doesn’t quite cover it.

Anything with Alien Chest Bursting or Demonic Possession

Nothing says sexy like an critter bursting from a main character’s chest.  Avoid Prometheus, Instinct,

Worst moment in the film to pull the ‘ol’penis in the popcorn’ trick.

Predator and anything from HR Giger. Projectile vomiting and spinning heads are also “Not Sexy.”

Train Spotting, Requiem for a Dream, and Gummo

I can hear the ocean.

These druggie, trashy, dirty movies leave you more likely to go home to get a shower than set for a night of getting it on.  And that was before the rats and bed wetting.

Blue Valentine

Love story gone wrong combined with all of the reasons not to have sex.  Not first date material.  Add to this any movie with a unplanned pregnancy because nothing says mood killer like morning sickness, pregnant moms, and abortion conversations.  Also off the list, any movie with STDs, Death by jealous girlfriend, and tragic rape movies.

Hey Baby Cakes, Let’s become trash over time together.

Add to our list any movies you can think of that serve as a cinematic cock block or help us build the top list of movies that will get you laid.

“The Big Lebowski” drinking game might be the most difficult in the history of movies or TV.

Typically, the rule is that, for every instance, one of the characters says “DUDE,” you take a drink. Easy enough, right? Well, the word “dude” is spoken 161 times, according to City Pages. That’s treading dangerously along the lines of alcohol poisoning.

None of this is to discourage you from coming up with fun and inventive drinking games, but maybe just something that requires more creativity and less constant chugging. The popular HBO series “Game of Thrones” kicks off its third season in March, and there are a few ways you can enhance the viewing experience with your friends.

‘They Took My Dragons!’

The famously hilarious line shouted by the stunning Daenerys Targaryen in season two spawned a great collection of memes and jokes. The Mother of Dragons has grown quite the maternal bond to her three-scaled companions. Anytime she mentions or refers to them, take three drinks — one for each dragon.

Theon Greyjoy is Creepy

The adopted son of Ned Stark with some serious daddy issues, Theon Greyjoy is clearly the most cringe-worthy character of the show. He hit rock bottom while trying to get fresh with his own sister on a horseback ride and wasn’t doing much better with prostitutes either. Take an awkward sip of your friend’s drink every time Theon Greyjoy does something creepy.

Joffrey Baratheon is a Huge Dick

King Joffrey might be one of the best villains in television. He’s murdered, backstabbed and betrayed — all with that smug, incestuous grin on his face. Every time Joffrey is a huge dick to someone (which is all the time), yell “Uncle Jamie’s your dad!” at the screen, drink up and have fun.

Jon Snow’s Mighty Willpower

A sworn member of the Night’s Watch, Jon Snow guards the Wall to protect the kingdoms from the dangers that lurk north, and his will is about as strong as the Wall he guards. While, under capture, Jon has fended off several sexual advances from his female capture and looks determined to hold his vow of celibacy. Take a drink for every advance Jon Snow rejects, but finish your drink if he gives in.

Bonus

• If Brienne of Tarth does something manly, which is anytime she moves or speaks, take a drink.
• If Varys makes a reference that he’s without his “manhood,” take a drink and thank God you have yours.
• If someone confuses Arya Stark for a boy, take a drink.
• If Samwell Tarly does something fat or lazy, take a nice, lazily paced gulp of your drink. If he falls down because he’s fat, just go ahead and finish what’s in your glass.
• If (more like when) there’s nudity, give out a drink to someone else. And, if Catelyn Stark tries to tell Robb what to do, tell someone else to drink.

Season three of “Game of Thrones” starts March 31 on HBO. You have to subscribe to cable or satellite to get the channel, but you can find packages on sites like www.directtvdeal.com to see what’s available in your area. Hopefully you’ll make more memories than lose from all the booze, but I promise this game won’t make it easy on you. Brace yourselves.