The 10 Greatest Action Movies of the 1980s

Last Friday saw the theatrical release of action-packed blockbuster “The Expendables 2,” the star-studded follow-up to the equally star-studded 2010 box office smash. Directed by Simon West of “Con Air” fame and starring such no-nonsense macho men as Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Arnold Schwarzenegger, the newly released old-school action throwback proudly pays tribute to the beloved template of the ‘80s action movie – blood, pecs, testosterone and all that jazz. But here’s a question: what are the ten greatest action flicks of the 1980s? Why, let’s find out! [Read more…]

The Donkey Kong-Inspired Shelving Unit

In the coin-operated, joystick-tugging, button-bashing gaming craze of the 1980s, one particular Nintendo release quickly became a bare necessity in any self-respecting amusement arcade. One of the earliest products of the platform genre, the influential and instantly popular Donkey Kong flaunted a simple concept: Jumpman, later known as Mario, must rescue a damsel in distress from the clutches of a giant ape, all while avoiding the paths of tumbling barrels and flaming fireballs.

Its setting was memorable: rows of rickety steel platforms made accessible through ladders, with villainous primate Donkey Kong always pounding away at the top of the screen. See:

This setting is the inspiration for an uber-nerdy yet super-cool shelving unit created and built by LA-based designer Igor Chak. Suitably entitled ‘Donkey Kong Wall,’ this ingeniously retro design is made of carbon fibre, anodized aluminum pixels, stainless steel rods and toughened glass tops. It is capable of supporting up to 60lbs, meaning the streams can be crossed and the more advanced games of today – or yesteryear, if you like – can be played on its sturdy surface.

A piece of interior decor like this, it’s guaranteed to induce sweet, merciful nostalgia in any hardcore frequenter of ‘80s arcades. Try your hand at Donkey Kong over at Best Online Games [Read more…]

The Five Worst TV Shows of the 1980s

The 80s are fading into myth faster than we, who lived it, could imagine. Let these terrible TV shows someone thought were a good idea, possibly after snorting a shoebox full of cocaine and driving to work in a DeLorean, remind us that we probably shouldn’t try this again. This decade we mean. Yeah. It was worse than the 90s, and bicycle shorts were in style in the 90s. For guys.

Disclaimer: These aren’t all the terrible TV shows the 80s vomited into existence. Rather, we chose to vary our sampling based on the many different types of shows including sitcoms, dramas, and a spinoffs. We also– Seriously though, bicycle shorts! They were basically tights with the pant legs missing. And men wore them! Even when they weren’t going to be bicycling! It’s just wrong. And you know it’s wrong. Dad. Sorry, sorry, we’re getting way off topic here. Please enjoy the article. We’re, uh, going to fix ourselves a stiff drink and pray the nightmares don’t return tonight.

1. Mr. Smith

In the history of TV, there have been many shows about things that talk that shouldn’t: horses, cars, dogs, Snooki, but it turns out America draws the line at monkeys. In 1983, Mr. Smith debuted in September and was cancelled by December, with 13 episodes somehow being made before God intervened and sealed all evidence of its existence into the Ark of the Covenant.

It will melt your face.

What made Mr. Smith such a piece of excrement? It’s hard to pinpoint exactly. The show featured an orang-utan named ChaCha who first becomes separated from his trainer after a car accident, and then ends up in a research lab. Which he escapes from. Then, probably just for the hell of it, the monkey finds an experimental serum that increases human intelligence. [Read more…]

The 10 Most Annoying 1980’s Pop Culture Robots

Technology has come a long way from the dark days of the 1980's when fingerless gloves and slap bracelets weren’t considered hideous forms of fashion expression and dumping your child’s entire college savings into Pogs were a sound investment that’s sure to pay off in the long run. Not only were the robots of the past primitive in terms of their technology and function, but they lacked a serious quality that practically makes them as obsolete as the horse and buggy: a lack of a personality that didn’t want to make humans grab something heavy and smash them until their own motherboards couldn’t recognize them. [Read more…]