WHO

IS

LETHALIST?

(Just try to imagine the narrator from 300 saying that. It will be better for all concerned.)

Let’s meet our combatants. First, we have Bob McSpiffyBoots, a GI Joe with a fearsome reputation. He went into Vietnam, single handedly defeated an entire VietCong Regiment, raped and pillaged a village of peaceful goats, and posed for pictures with every Buddha statue he came across, giving them all bunny ears. In short, a man who didn’t give a damn about anything. Unfortunately, he came home to have people throw poop at him (MJ’s monkey was not in attendance) and it….changed him. He’s become a pacifist, and also apparently thinks he’s Fabio, if this picture is to be believed.

His opponent is Ken PeterPuffer, who goes by the stage name of Mr. Fascist. He’s a Ken doll that sought to dispel rumors of being gay by becoming a professional wrestler. He was hampered in this by not having the ability to bend his arms, and grew to hate society in general and hippies in particular. He also likes posing for pictures pretending he’s a Nazi. At least, he says he’s pretending.

The weapons are a hodgepodge of whatever I could scrounge up. We have a Swiss Army Knife, an OmniTool that consists primarily of a pliers, 4 long screws, a Springfield musket circa 1861, and a miniature Napoleonic cannon.

Oh yes, my cat, Tuffy, has also agreed to participate, I guess as some sort of weapon since she’s posing with them and isn’t she just adorable. (This is incredible, I have somehow added another cat to the Internet.)

Now, this is the part of the show where I’m supposed to test the destructive capabilities of each weapon and then somehow turn that into computer figures so that sophisticated software can determine the results of a thousand digital battles, which sounds about as fun as playing World of Warcraft as a tabletop game. So, I skipped that step and had the two combatants actually fight each other. By telling Ken that Bob was a dirty hippie, I was able to get him to attack Bob at a peace rally rehearsal he was holding to denounce all the weapons I had set up before hand. It’s now time to find out

WHO

IS

MANLIEST

(or is it lethalist? I don’t even remember, and without the voice of Faramir, it means nothing anyway. Just watch the video.)

WINNER: TUFFY

You know, in the past it was always my dogs that chewed up the dolls and such. But I guess Tuff Stuff wanted to make her presence felt, by casually murdering Bob off screen. It was brutal, the only things I found were his pants and what I’m pretty sure was the part of his ass that said MADE IN CHINA on it. Was I surprised by the results? Well, I write stupid things for the Internet and posted a video on Youtube to do this article. What do you think?

Well, that’s our show, everyone. It didn’t turn out the way I originally thought it would, but it’s still better than Deadliest Warrior. Why? Because in my show, people actually died.

By Ben Adelman

It all started in the 1940s with movie serials, elongated motion pictures shown weekly in movie theatres, split into different chapters that would always end with a cliff-hanger. The first of these to revolve around a super-powered human being was “Adventures of Captain Marvel,” a 1941 serial presented by Republic Pictures that was broken up into twelve chapters, one shown every Saturday. It was based on the titular character from Fawcett Comics and followed Captain Marvel as he attempted to thwart hooded criminal mastermind The Scorpion. It proved very popular amongst both moviegoers and critics, and showed that superheroes can indeed work on the big screen, in turn kick-starting a new genre of cinema. A trailer for the serial can be seen below.

Some other superhero serials followed suit (most notably “Batman” in 1943 and “Superman” in 1948), as well as the 58-minute-long “Superman and the Mole Men” starring George Reeves, but it wasn’t until 1966 that the genre got its first uninterrupted, feature-length big-screen debut. This was Leslie H. Martinson’s “Batman,” a cinematic spin-off of the iconic ’60s TV show of the same name starring Adam West and Burt Ward. Essentially an elongated episode of the kids’ show from which it sprung, the film is famous for its hilariously high camp and tongue-in-cheek tone, practically poking fun at the DC superhero and his sidekick Robin. We watch as the Caped Crusader and the Boy Wonder go about thwacking and socking the likes of The Joker, The Riddler, Catwoman and The Penguin, who are all working together to take down the Dynamic Duo. Both the film and the show have very deservedly developed cult followings over the years, regarded by many to be a guilty pleasure.

"Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb" - Adam West in "Batman"

Twelve years later came the big one, a mega-budget superhero movie based on one of the most iconic heroes of comic book lore. Richard Donner’s “Superman” was released in 1978 and was met with critical acclaim and box office glory. “You’ll believe a man can fly,” gloated the posters, which showed Christopher Reeve gliding through the air in a red cape, blue outfit and with his underwear covering his tights. Telling the origin story of how Superman came to be and how he first battled with the villainous Lex Luthor, “Superman” has become a staple of cinema history and defined the career of the late Mr. Reeve. Three sequels followed (“Superman II” in 1980, “Superman III” in 1983, and “Superman IV: The Quest for Peace” in 1987), as well as the very lame loose spin-off “Supergirl” in 1984, though none managed to top the success of the ground-breaking original.

Christopher Reeve presumably about to save Metropolis in "Superman"

In 1989 came two notably adult superhero flicks, certainly much more for grown-ups’ eyes than the “Superman” franchise. The first was Mark Goldblatt’s critically panned “The Punisher,” based on the Marvel comic character, a deadly and feared vigilante who wreaks bloody havoc against organised crime with an assortment of body-obliterating weaponry; we’re not talking about slingshots here. The second was Tim Burton’s “Batman,” a gothic adaptation of the DC comic, with Michael Keaton as the Dark Knight and Jack Nicholson as the big bat’s arch-nemesis, The Joker. While it has been criticised for being too dark (Burton is not known for his lighthearted silliness), “Batman” has been long regarded as a high of the genre, and is nothing if it’s not entertaining. And who could forget Danny Elfman’s marvellous score? Go on, hum it.

Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson talk bat-to-clown in "Batman"

The following year came an original superhero picture from the mind of Sam Raimi, the man behind the wickedly gruesome “Evil Dead” trilogy. “Darkman” starred Liam Neeson as a scientist who is developing a type of synthetic skin, with which he intends to help burn victims. He ends up in a lab explosion deliberately sparked by a bunch of mobsters, but survives the incident and vows revenge on the crooks who wronged him, using his synthetic skin for various disguises. While it’s far-fetched and often quite silly (a scene at a carnival in which Neeson demands to be given a toy elephant is unintentionally hilarious), “Darkman” is nonetheless a fun ride and has quite an imagination. Two sequels followed (“Darkman II: The Return of Durant” in 1995 and “Darkman III: Die, Darkman, Die” in 1996), both straight-to-video and both said to be terrible (I’ve never ventured anywhere near them).

Liam Neeson (or The Elephant Man) in "Darkman"

And then the “Batman” sequels piled up, starting with the wonderful “Batman Returns” in 1992, directed again by Burton, with Danny DeVito playing the evil Penguin, and Michelle Pfeiffer as the rather attractive Catwoman. Joel Schumacher (who had previously directed vampire flick “The Lost Boys”) then sat down in the director’s chair, jamming down our throats “Batman Forever” in 1995 and “Batman & Robin” in 1997. Both films are looked back on in shame by moviegoers everywhere, specifically the latter due to its overwhelming camp and general aura of idiocy (the Batsuit had nipples, for crying out loud), as well as Arnold Schwarzenegger’s cringe-worthy turn as the pun-tastic Mr. Freeze. It seems Schumacher tried to take the franchise back to the ’60s TV show and as a result irritated film lovers the world over. Here is the man himself apologising for this unholy mess he brought forth upon us:

1990 brought us Albert Pyun’s cheese-tastic “Captain America,” with Matt Salinger as the patriotic Marvel hero, the film not even managing to (dis)grace cinema screens, instead released only on video. “The Terminator” director James Cameron gained the rights to the Spider-Man comics and wrote a widely admired script treatment for a movie adaptation, though the project never left the page (legal battles can be blamed for this). Joe Johnston’s period adventure “The Rocketeer” was released in 1991 and, despite the praise it deservedly received from most critics, sadly flopped at the box office. Alec Baldwin took on the titular hero of “The Shadow” in 1994, the film based on the psychic crime-fighter from ’30s pulp magazines, comic books and radio shows, the film overall just a bit too corny for its own good. And an unreleased 90-minute Roger Corman-produced film adaptation of Marvel’s “The Fantastic Four” was filmed just to maintain the license to the comic (a fact unbeknownst to the poor actors), the film never intended to see the light of day, though the vomit-inducing trailer for it can be seen below. I should warn you, you’ll need a sick bag.

Superhero films then took a turn for African-American leads, with Michael Jai White in the practically unwatchable “Spawn” and Shaquille O’Neal in the beyond lame “Steel,” both films from 1997. But it wasn’t until the following year that audiences got an African-American leading man they really took a shine to. “Blade” starred Wesley Snipes as the eponymous half-human half-vampire, who is dedicated to hunting down and slaughtering every bloodsucker on planet Earth while wearing shades and a black leather jacket (he must get very hot running about in that thing). While reviews from critics were rather mixed, “Blade” was quite the box office hit for Marvel Studios, and went on to spawn two sequels: the superior “Blade II” (2002) and the obnoxiously mediocre “Blade: Trinity” (2004).

Wesley Snipes is a good bit cooler than you in "Blade"

It was the success of “Blade” that encouraged Marvel Studios to go ahead with a more ambitious project, to adapt one of their most well-known comic series for the big screen, resulting in both the birth of a gigantic film franchise and the dawn of a new age for the cinematic superhero genre. Set in a world in which mutants with superpowers are feared by the public and government, Bryan Singer’s “X-Men” was released in 2000, and was met with box office glory and critical acclaim. Its 2003 sequel was bigger and better, faster and fresher, regarded by many today to be one of the best superhero flicks out there. And while the last two instalments, “X-Men: The Last Stand” (2006) and “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” (2009), were disappointments to fans, this year’s “X-Men: First Class” has done nothing if not resparked our faith in the franchise. Also released in 2000 was M. Night Shyamalan’s “Unbreakable,” starring Bruce Willis as an everyday man who is informed by a comic book obsessor that he has superpowers. It was an original work, taking the superhero genre into more realistic and dramatic territory, and was a critical and financial hit, receiving $248 million worldwide.

Hugh Jackman clawing ass in "X-Men 2"

Another by-product of the profit “Blade” raked in was the long-anticipated big-screen introduction of one of the most beloved characters in comic book history. What was his name again? Oh yeah, that’s right. “Spider-Man” was gigantic. Directed by Sam Raimi, the wall-crawler’s debut movie opened in 2002 and broke box office records, receiving $114 million on its opening weekend, as well as garnering mass critical acclaim. Its two sequels (“Spider-Man 2″ in 2004 and “Spider-Man 3″ in 2007) were both also monumental cash-guzzlers, the former very deservedly and the latter, well, maybe no deservedly. While the third is generally regarded as lacklustre, parts one and two are heralded as incredibly entertaining slices of popcorn movie-making, with the special effects magnificent, the action fast and fun, leaving audiences everywhere dizzy, dazzled and rather delighted.

Your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man

And the superhero movies just kept on coming, all showing off the new advances in the SFX department. We got Mark Steven Johnson’s “Daredevil” and Ang Lee’s “Hulk” in 2003; Guillermo del Toro’s “Hellboy,” Jonathan Hensleigh’s “The Punisher,” Pitof’s “Catwoman” and Brad Bird’s animated “The Incredibles” in 2004; Rob Bowman’s “Daredevil” spin-off “Elektra,” Tim Story’s “Fantastic Four” and Christopher Nolan’s “Batman Begins” in 2005; Bryan Singer’s “Superman Returns” and Ivan Reitman’s rom-com “My Super Ex-Girlfriend” in 2006; Mark Steven Johnson’s “Ghost Rider” and Tim Story’s “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer” in 2007; but it was 2008 that proved to be the biggest year for the genre.

Chris Evans on fire in "Fantastic Four"

2008 gave cinema the beginning of a series of interconnected comic book pictures, starting with “Iron Man,” the first film independently developed by Marvel Studios. Based on the somewhat lesser-known titular character, Jon Favreau’s energetic actioner starred Robert Downey, Jr. as Tony Stark, the billionaire head of a weapons company who, after being captured by terrorists, builds a weaponised suit that can fly, shoot and cause quite a lot of damage to public property. One month later, Louis Leterrier’s “The Incredible Hulk” was released, a reboot of Ang Lee’s dire 2003 stab at the Marvel character. It starred Edward Norton as Bruce Banner, a scientist who is the victim of a science experiment gone wrong, resulting in him turning into a big green meanie whenever he loses his temper. In the end scene of “The Incredible Hulk,” Tony Stark from “Iron Man” makes an unexpected appearance and announces that he is assembling a team together. This was the beginning of “The Avengers,” a team-up of Iron Man, The Hulk, Captain America and Thor, set for release on May 4, 2012 under the direction of Joss Whedon. Sounds exciting, yes? You bet your ass it does.

"Hulk smash!" - The big green meanie in "The Incredible Hulk"

But what also made 2008 such a big year for the genre was the release of the highly anticipated follow-up to 2005′s widely acclaimed “Batman Begins.” Yes, I’m talking about Christopher Nolan’s “The Dark Knight,” the biggest film of ’08 and also one of the year’s most critically cherished motion pictures. Christian Bale returned as the Caped Crusader, this time battling The Joker (played by the late Heath Ledger), a madman causing chaos throughout Gotham City while wearing clown make-up and sporting a nasty Glasgow smile. Ledger sadly died before the movie’s release date, but his jaw-dropping performance landed him a posthumous Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor at the annual Oscar ceremony in 2009. Now regarded as a behemoth of the superhero genre, “The Dark Knight” is said by many to be the very best the genre has offered so far, it showing how powerful a film about a man in tights and a mask really can be. It seems every comic book movie released since “The Dark Knight” has been compared to it, mostly unfavourably.

"Why so serious?" - Heath Ledger in "The Dark Knight"

Also from 2008 was Peter Berg’s “Hancock,” which offered a different take on the regular superhero character, with Will Smith playing a drunken loser with the strength of a hundred men and the ability to fly; sadly, the film descended into uninspired mode when it hit the halfway mark. The sequel to “Hellboy” was also released, again directed by Guillermo del Toro, “The Golden Army” widely considered to be even better than its fantasy predecessor. The “Punisher” franchise was rebooted yet again in 2008 with “Punisher: War Zone,” starring Ray Stevenson as vigilante Frank Castle, the film flopping horribly in spite of it actually being quite fun. Zack Snyder decided to film the so-called “unfilmable” graphic novel with “Watchmen” in 2009, a grown-ups-only superhero flick based on Alan Moore’s awe-inspiring 1986/1987 book of the same name. In 2010, Matthew Vaughn took on a film adaptation of Mark Millar’s very vulgar DIY-superhero comic book “Kick-Ass,” resulting in a ridiculously entertaining slice of bloody violence, awesome profanity and adult humour. The sequel to “Iron Man” came next, and, while it made plenty of dough at the box office, was said to be a misguided mess of a film that felt too much like one big overblown advertisement for “The Avengers.” And two animated features in 2010 offered the opposite of a superhero film, with “Megamind” and “Despicable Me” telling the story from the perspective of the villain.

The bulb-skulled blue alien from "Megamind"

Earlier this year, Michel Gondry gave us “The Green Hornet,” a comedic take on the previously serious character from the radio show, TV show, comic books and movie serials. It was a financial success, though opinions on the film were mixed at best. “Thor” thundered into cinema screens in early May, based on the Norse god from the Marvel line of comics, and was both a critical and box office champion, winning over quite a plethora of snooty naysayers. And then at the beginning of this month came “X-Men: First Class,” the Matthew Vaughn-directed prequel to the “X-Men” franchise. It was met immediately with near-universal praise from critics and moviegoers, many calling it the best in the series so far (I must say that I agree).

A very wet Chris Hemsworth gripping his massive tool in "Thor"

And that brings us to today, with the sadly mediocre “Green Lantern” having just been released on Friday, and “Captain America: The First Avenger” out at the end of July. But what of the future of the genre? It’s come so far and seems to be at its peak right now, but will this last for much longer? Will we run out of characters to adapt, characters to create, or places to take this aspect of filmdom? Will it live on for years to come, or is this just a fad that will quickly burn out once it has run its course? It’s hard to tell, but considering we’ve got “The Avengers,” “The Amazing Spider-Man,” “The Dark Knight Rises,” “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance” and “Man of Steel” lined up for release next year, as well as talk of a “Justice League” movie being in the works, I think the superhero genre is safe for now from being dumped in a cardboard box and left to collect dust in the darkness of the attic.

By Stephen Watson

These tiny robots, created by Jenn and Tony Bot, may look edible, but believe you me, they are not. I found that out the hard way.

Made of  glass beads, wire and polymer clay, the robots weigh in at about 2 ounces and stand 2.5 cm tall. This Blog Rules has picked some of its favorites and put them on display for you below the jump. You can spot Jack Sparrow, Miss Piggy, Batman, Spiderman, and other iconic characters in the bunch. If you buy these and have them delivered to you, I strongly recommend not biting into them, no matter how scrumptious they appear.

“It’s tea time! If I keep saying that enough, eventually it will actually be tea time when I do, and I’ll look a little less crazy.” “My suspenders are too tight. I’ve never wished death on anyone, but if this ship hits an iceberg at least I won’t have to wear them anymore.” “See that big, fat slob behind me? Rumor has it he’s eaten 14 baby Gungans in his day.” “Believe it or not, it’s not very comfortable to hang upside down for three straight hours.” “So, check this. I walked in this morning and caught Donatello massaging the washing machine. Didn’t realize the lyrics ‘Donatello does machines’ were literal until today.” “It turns out that talking robots are not a myth. Next week on Mythbusters, we drop a danish into pig vomit and see if the 5 second rule applies.” “Heyyaa! Kermieeee! Aaaag!!” “When was the last time this grass was cut? 30 years ago? Jesus, this palace has horrible lawn care.” “Madness is like gravity. All it takes is a little push!” “Milking a franchise until it runs completely dry? Never heard of it..” “I’m Harry Potter. No, really. Snape dropped acid and then thought it would be funny if he turned me into a tiny robot. Weirdo.” “Hello, I’m Ian McKellen, standing in my full Gandolf garb. But I am not really a wizard. You see, I am pretending.” “It seems I forgot to send Jay Leno a Christmas card this year. That was a mistake. Yea, that’s it. A mistake.” “Swear to me!”

You can see Jenn and Tony’s entire collection of little robots at Lubucrew. If you’re into these tiny bots, you may also like these small cardboard pieces created by Anton Tang. Hmm, I’m beginning to think we might be able to fill an entire museum with nothing but little sculptures. But it’s going to be up to you, reader, to get on that.

10. Shrek 2 is 2004 animated movie , the film features the voices of Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz and Antonio Banderas. Shrek 2 scored the fourth largest three day opening weekend in US history and it is, as well, the highest-grossing fully-animated film of all time. 4th sequel of Shrek series, named Shrek Forever After, will be released May 21st 2010.

8. Toy Story 2 is family animate movie from 1999, the third Disney/Pixar feature film, and the sequel to Toy Story, which features the adventures of a group of toys that come to life when humans are not around to see them. Toy Story 2 was hugely a critical and commercial success earning a rare 100% approval rating at Rotten Tomatoes (one of the only animated films to do so, along with the original), with an average reviewer score of 8.6/10 (based on a sample of 144 reviews). Toy Story and Toy Story 2 are both Pixar’s highest-rated films to date.

7. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers is a 2002 fantasy-adventure film directed by Peter Jackson based on the second volume of J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. It is the second film in The Lord of the Rings film trilogy that was preceded by The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) and concluded with The Return of the King (2003). The movie was critically acclaimed, although the adaptation was more controversial than the first film. It was an enormous box-office success, earning over $900 million worldwide, out grossing its predecessor, and is currently the 10th highest-grossing film of all time.

6. The Bourne Supremacy is a spy mystery thriller film released on 23 July 2004 and it received a positive critical and public reaction similar to its predecessor, The Bourne Identity. The film was followed by a 2007 sequel entitled The Bourne Ultimatum. Bourne is portrayed by Matt Damon.

5. Aliens is a 1986 science fiction action film directed by James Cameron. A sequel to the 1979 film Alien, Aliens is set fifty-seven years after the first film and is regarded by many film critics as a benchmark for the action and science fiction genres. Aliens earned $86 million in the United States box office during its 1986 theatrical release and $131 million internationally. The movie was nominated for seven Academy Awards, including a Best Actress nomination for Sigourney Weaver. It won in the categories of Sound Effects Editing and Visual Effects.

4. The Dark Knight is a 2008 superhero thriller film directed and co-written by Christopher Nolan. Based on the DC Comics character Batman, the film is part of Nolan’s Batman film series and a sequel to 2005′s Batman Begins. Christian Bale reprises the lead role. It was greeted with positive reviews upon release, and became only the second film to earn more than $500 million at the North American box office, setting numerous other records in the process. It is also the fifth highest grossing film worldwide, and one of only five films to earn more than $1 billion, worldwide. The film received numerous awards nominations and two Academy Awards for Best Sound Editing and Best Supporting Actor for Ledger’s performance.

3. The Godfather Part II is a 1974 American gangster film directed by Francis Ford Coppola from a script co-written with Mario Puzo. The film is both a sequel and a prequel to The Godfather, chronicling the story of the Corleone family following the events of the first film while also depicting the rise to power of the young Vito Corleone before the events of the first film. The Godfather Part II was nominated for 11 Academy Awards and won six, including Best Picture and Best Supporting Actor for Robert De Niro, and has been selected for preservation in the U.S. National Film Registry.

10. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back is a 1980 space opera film directed by Irvin Kershner based on a story by George Lucas It was the second film released in the Star Wars saga, and the fifth in terms of internal chronology. Following a difficult production, The Empire Strikes Back was released on May 21, 1980, and initially received mixed reviews from critics, although it has since grown in esteem, becoming one of the most popular chapters in the Star Wars saga and one of the most highly rated films in history. It earned more than US$538 million worldwide over the original run and several re-releases. When adjusted for inflation, it is the 12th highest grossing film of all time.

Now that you know the best movie sequals ever, find out which movies to aviod, top 10 worst movies of all time.

10. The Room is a 2003 independent film written and directed by its star, Tommy Wiseau. Without any studio support, Wiseau spent over $7 million on production and marketing for the film and failed.