We’re just past the Deadpool opening weekend, but we can already tell that the “merc with a mouth” was long time due to appear on our screens. Fans have been craving a proper adaptation for a while now. For this reason, along with Deadpool’s genius marketing campaign, on his grand launch day, it managed to break more than the fourth wall: it broke records. The movie cashed in profit at an alarming pace, throwing it on the path to becoming the first R-rated movie to make $100 million in its first weekend, and it seems that Ryan Reynolds will be reprising his role for a sequel that was confirmed before the picture even premiered. Long story short, we’ve been longing after a movie as cool as it gets, especially after we were ruthlessly teased with the awful Deadpool representation of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. So, what’s so big about all those mentioned before? Several things actually. For starters, although the Marvel name is indeed attached to the movie, it’s actually produced by Fox, and we need to admit that several months ago no one would have thought that a studio other than Marvel and DC would manage to make a successful superhero movie. But the most important thing is really there. That’s right, Deadpool’s R-rating. In many aspects, it was the only way we could get a true representation, one that would give us the merc with a mouth in all of his flawed glory. However, even with its R-rating and all, there are several story lines that will never see the light of the day and make it into a movie: they’re just that bewildering. These are the 3 Deadpool Movies You Will Never See.
1. Deadpool Kills The Marvel Universe
It’s easy to forget Deadpool’s true purpose, when all of the mayhem and slaughter is covered with fourth wall breaking and quirky humor, but we can’t forget that he is, in fact, a hired mercenary. More than that, back in the days of his first appearance, he was presented to us as a villain, only eventually developing into more or less an anti-hero thanks to his popularity. He grew on us, even though he’s basically an insane walking slaughterhouse.
Speaking of insanity, let’s tie this into the topic of this entry. Do you know what happened when the X-Men tried to cure Wade Wilson of his madness? They accidentally assigned him to a Psycho-Man disguised as a doctor, and the result was that Deadpool completely lost his marbles, and ended up going on a rampage that left the bodies of pretty much every Marvel character lying lifeless at his feet. Starting with the Fantastic Four, we witness the bloody demise of all our beloved heroes, albeit in the most creative ways possible.
There are so many reasons why a story like this wouldn’t never work as a movie adaptation, that it’s almost pointless to try and enumerate them all. First of all, would you really pay to go see the characters you got attached to get killed off one by one? Let’s not even mention how the possibilities for any more Marvel movies would basically be cut off. Well, not like it’s exactly possible for this kind of huge scale adaptation to happen. After all, the rights to various Marvel superheroes are scattered between different studios. For now (hopefully), at least. Either way, let’s just assume that we won’t ever get to see this Deadpool movie.
2. Deadpool Killustrated
It’s apparently a recurring theme to have Deadpool go on random rampages and destroy various universes. Even though he’s well infamous for his reputation as the biggest fourth wall breaker, Killustrated takes this to a whole new level. All of the jokes tossed behind the fourth wall are now a serious issue, as Deadpool is the only person who comprehends that he, along with the other Marvel characters, are nothing more but fictional characters in a series of comic books. Determined to put an end to this, he gets in touch with several villain masterminds, and they all decide to head for the Nexus of All Realities. Their plan? To use it in order to go back in time, find the classics of literature and murder them. This way, having no inspiration and foundations to back them up, modern writers and creators won’t ever think of coming up with the Marvel universe.
The story itself is quite fun – if you fancy the idea of seeing Sherlock Holmes, Dracula, the Little Mermaid, Tom Sawyer and many others get murdered in the weirdest ways, that is. And I suppose that, in a way, it’d make for an interesting movie adaption. But we bring the same issues as before: the scale and the violently odd nature of the story. A hypothetical Killustrated movie would have to feature an incredible amount of characters and, with such a limited screentime, they’d barely get developed before their imminent demises.
3. Deadpool Volume 3 #1
This entry is perhaps the tamest of them all, but it raises a valid question: just how much strangeness and violence would the Deadpool fans be willing to put up with on the big screen? I’m guessing not as much as this comic book volume has to offer.
Volume 3 #1 is the result of getting a proper comedian to hop aboard the Deadpool train, and the merc with a mouth has never been funnier. In this issue, he teams up with Doctor Strange and the spirit of Ben Franklin, to travel all over the USA and kill the American presidents in completely crazily creative ways. I mean, I don’t know, this sounds fun and all, but is the American public ready to watch their honored historical figures get slaughtered for the sake of a comic book anti-hero’s satire?
There are many people who, curtsy to the movie adaptation, are introduced to the world of Deadpool for the first time. And for good reason too, they grow to love the guy. It’s a bit difficult not to, when he’s such an amusing and interesting character, who also happens to be played by Ryan Reynolds as an excellent bonus. But it’s good to know that he has a pretty dark history of adventures that are either weird, bloody or both, and that, just like these 3 Deadpool Movies You Will Never See, will probably stay known just by the avid comic book fans.
