The Worst Movie Posters Ever Conceived

Have you ever been tempted to watch a movie solely because of its tasteful and enticing poster? If you have, then I bet it wasn’t due to one of these movie posters. Without further adieu, I present to you The Worst Movie Posters Ever Conceived:

Mission Impossible from Ghana

The Worst Movie Posters Ever Conceived

I really hate to criticize something that a talented person clearly put a lot of hard work and effort into. Jeez, who am I kidding? I love this poster. Maybe you don’t remember seeing this movie poster back in the 90’s unless you lived in Ghana at the time. It seems that movie theaters in Ghana can’t use official Hollywood posters for some possibly bizarre and complicated reason I can’t be bothered to research. So what do the mad African geniuses do? They create this masterpiece.

The Unfathomable Movie Poster

The Worst Movie Posters Ever Conceived

In your wildest imagination, can you have even guess what this film is about? One of the jobs of the movie poster is to give us a tantalizing glimpse at the film’s action. That’s what makes us part with our cash to see it. That mindset wasn’t really used here, was it?

The MASH Poster

The Worst Movie Posters Ever Conceived

Ah, Mash. The show that lasted longer than the war it was based on. The classic song from MASH tells us so many profound things about life. Life? Hey, I can take it or leave it as I please. The brains behind this operation made a very strange decision. When deciding on how to tempt audiences into cinemas to see their movie, they went with the idea of joining hands and legs together (and then sticking an army helmet on it). Brilliant!

The Celebrity Welding Experiment Poster

The Worst Movie Posters Ever Conceived

So you’ve got a film featuring Harrison Ford and Brendan Fraser in it. Well done. You probably aren’t going to mess it up and create a crappy movie, right? Oh well. At least you won’t mess up the movie posters, right? The first step to making something as bad as this is to ask these stars to make the ugliest expressions possible. Come on, Harrison! Can’t you at least try to look a bit more miserable and angry? Then, you weld the two together with some clumsy Photoshop skills.

The Wooden Tom Hanks Poster

The Worst Movie Posters Ever Conceived

This was a great movie, but can anyone explain to me why Tom Hanks looks like Pinocchio in this poster? Is it a real photo of him or did they draw his picture? Either way, something strange is happening here.

The Rock and Roll Dracula Poster

The Worst Movie Posters Ever Conceived

The existence of this fantastic looking film seems to have eluded me entirely before today. Just 10 seconds ago, I was entirely unaware of its existence (yes, I do type very fast, thank you). The irresistible idea behind this work of undoubted cinematic genius is a rock n roll Dracula movie – the world’s first. I’m sure you can scarcely believe it, right? The film features such scary dudes as Ringo Starr and Harry Nilsson. It also has the unforgettable catchphrase Bite It! Something this weird was either going to be brilliant or absolutely bloody awful.

The 30 Second Photoshop Poster

The Worst Movie Posters Ever Conceived

You now know that I’m a lightning fast typing fiend. However, I must confess that I have never used Photoshop. Not even once. Actually, maybe once but the point is that I have no idea how to use it in a professional sense. Neither does the person who created this poster.

The 10 Greatest Action Movies of the 1980s

Last Friday saw the theatrical release of action-packed blockbuster “The Expendables 2,” the star-studded follow-up to the equally star-studded 2010 box office smash. Directed by Simon West of “Con Air” fame and starring such no-nonsense macho men as Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Arnold Schwarzenegger, the newly released old-school action throwback proudly pays tribute to the beloved template of the ‘80s action movie – blood, pecs, testosterone and all that jazz. But here’s a question: what are the ten greatest action flicks of the 1980s? Why, let’s find out! [Read more…]

20 of the Internet’s Finest Movie/TV Supercuts

A frequent visitor to the jam-packed corridors of YouTube is an ongoing trend that some people refer to as a “pop culture megamix” and what other, more sensible individuals call a “supercut.” “What is a supercut?” I hear you curiously questioning. Well, a supercut is usually defined as a video montage that exists to highlight and bring attention to an overused plot device or line of dialogue that has at some point or another plagued either television or cinema screens, or sometimes both. The montage typically acts as an overblown compilation of examples of a certain hackneyed movie/TV cliche being used by lazy screenwriters, with mini clips pasted together with monotonous/hilarious repetition. A supercut can also be person-specific (focusing on one actor or filmmaker’s quirks and tropes) or centred on a single TV show or movie.

The trend’s origins can be traced all the way back to 2006, after which it went viral, with hundreds of very imaginative and highly entertaining supercut videos uploaded to YouTube ever since. Below are twenty of the finest, assembled in no particular order. [Read more…]

The 5 Most Egregious Charlie Sheen Roles

Charlie Sheen….well, what more can be said about Charlie that hasn’t already been said a thousand times? I mean, let’s face it: the guy is not connected with the real world.

But that’s not what this article is about. You won’t see jokes about tiger blood or winning here, so if you came for that, you should leave and change as a person because seriously, what’s wrong with you? Now that those unfortunates are banished, we can focus on what this article is really about: pointing and laughing at stupid things Charlie Sheen pulled in the movies. [Read more…]