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Home » gods

So Who Else Was Born Outside the Borders of Traditional Conception?

February 20, 2014 By Fred Mitchell Leave a Comment

The subject of the immaculate conception represents the fundamental building stone of Christianity. History also registered a few claims of virgin birth or human parthenogenesis, a birth that occurs outside the borders of traditional conception, which, needless to say, implies exactly what everybody knows it implies, with a few very young exceptions who didn’t reach the subject in school yet. History, also, recorded other births which cannon be labeled as normal, if you’d look at things from a cold, scientific and modern perspective. Go to a doctor and tell him you got your child out of a feather ball that fell from the sky and he will soon transfer you to the looney bin and the child to the social services day care. Now, when we say history, we also imply mythology, because let’s face it, we weren’t there when Horus was born, so everything we can do is to study old texts and archives and believe it or not. While providing a documented history of the claims of human virgin births should be interesting, it also implies a lot of research and other started some projects. We might get involved in this too, but for now, let’s see who else was born outside the borders of traditional conception and by this we mean other prophetic or divine figures present in world’s religions and cultures.

1. Horus, the Most Known Egyptian God

Now we know his mother was Isis and his father was Osiris, but when it comes to the paternity test, things get a bit complicated. There is no solid proof of what happened, because you know, very very ancient Egyptian tale, but some speculate that Osiris was killed by Isis jealous brother Set. The killer smashed and bashed poor Osiris body on the battle field and Isis used her powers to gather the pieces, put the husband back together and conceive a son with him. Now if you read historical documents, you will see that this post – mortem melodrama is told in different ways: she either revived completely the husband and conceived Horus traditionally, or she revived her husband (who lacked his … godly instrument) and built him a godly instrument to conceive Horus. Either way, Horus was not definitely a normal kid coming from this charming family and pregnancy story, but he ended up one of the most powerful Egyptian Gods.

2. Huitzilopochtli, the Aztec God of War and Sacrifice

We’d dare you pronouncing his name, but it seems impossible. It is pronounced something like Weetz-ee-loh-POSHT-lee, but we’ll call him Weetz. So he is one of the most powerful and well known Aztec gods who was born… differently. He had, obviously, a mother (few references about the father, though) and his mother was one day at the temple, being a goddess, and while she was there, a ball of feathers fell from the sky. This goddess had about other 400 sons and daughters (who lived in the sky like stars and whose paternity is yet to be established) so bringing another one to the family wouldn’t have been so odd, if the method of impregnation wouldn’t look suspicious to the 400 bunch, who came down wanting to question her kill her. But just when *it got serious, Weetz broke out of his mother’s womb and slaughtered his siblings. Now that is a one hell of a way to get born.

3. Mars, the Roman God

When it comes to Greek and Roman gods, nothing is impossible in their mythos. Rape, incest, immaculate conception, hate, betrayals and blood shed that would shame even George Martin, those were the daily fun activities. So this guy Mars, who later became the God of War has an interesting story to begin with. Since Romans had a soft spot for Greek culture and myths, they wanted a war god of their own, and since Ares was too Greek for them, Mars gained this coolness aura which made him become very popular, very from the hood, so to speak. But Mars has no father, go figure, or he has a step one at most. Jupiter was the ruler of them all, and he was so badass, he gave birth to his daughter Minerva by himself, while the little progeny spawned out if his godly head. Neat trick, but Jupiter’s wife, Juno, got pissed of her husband going separate ways and decided she wanted a child of her own, without his help. So any normal woman at this point would have cheated with another male figure. But Juno was even cooler than Jupiter and went to another goddess, Flora, and asked HER to help her conceive a child. Put your dirty thoughts away, Flora touched Juno with a magic flower and thus she got impregnated with Mars. Now you can all think about it.

Who else was born outside the borders of traditional conception? We have Qi, a Chinese God who popped up in his mother’s womb after she stepped in the giant footstep of the most powerful god that ruled back then and since he had no Earthly father, he ended up yet another deity. Buddha also has an interesting conception story and if you are curious enough, there are many others more.

Filed Under: fun Tagged With: gods

Zeus’ 5 Most Bizarre Conquests

December 3, 2011 By Vernon Gadson 1 Comment

In Ancient Greek mythology Zeus was king of the gods and, by and large, did a pretty good job of it. Referred to as father even by those gods he didn’t have a hand in conceiving, he overthrew his baby-eating father Cronus and shared the world with his elder brothers Poseidon (who got the world’s waters) and Hades (who was put in charge of the dead and thus the Underworld). However, for all his godliness he had one fatal flaw: women. This, perhaps understandably, pissed off his wife Hera no end, especially considering the irony of her presiding over marriage and the union of the marriage bed. But what were Zeus’s more unusual dalliances? He was a god, after all, and a few dirty weekends disguised as business trips weren’t exactly going to cut it. [Read more…]

Filed Under: fun Tagged With: ancient greece, god, godess, gods, greek mythology, mythology, strange, weird, zeus

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