5. The Serial Coffee Drinker

The Serial Coffee Drinker is so jacked up on (hopefully) legal stimulants that they find it hard to come down again. While they may theoretically have more energy to get work down with, it’s rarely funnelled into their job; after all, The Serial Coffee Drinker can indulge in all forms of procrastination at double speed. Additionally there’s the constant getting up to go and get more coffee every half an hour or so; surely that has to waste some time? Pious Serial Tea Drinkers, while usually not quite as annoying as the coffee chuggers, need to remember that those mugs of tea they swill contain almost as much caffeine as a cup of coffee (in short, you’re not any better/less addicted than the rest of us).

4. The Comedian

They’ve attempted to build a reputation on being the office comedian… only they’re not. Heck, they’re not even funny most of the time, either telling jokes that are so hideously outdated they’re not even amusing ironically or so offensive that you honestly wonder why they’re still here. The Comedian can exhibit traits of most of the other top five most annoying types of co-worker, spending the majority of their time at the office desperately trying to induce laughter in their fellow employees (and not seeming to care when it sounds rather forced).

3. The Attention Seeker

Before you start making assumptions, this type can be of either gender. Whether they wander round dressed up to the nines (come on, now: this is only the office, not a catwalk) flirting with everybody or constantly turning the conversation round to their usually insignificant problems, The Attention Seeker has to be the centre of the office universe at all times. Failure to achieve the latter can be due to one of a number of factors: A) they’re sulking, B) they’re on a break or, everybody’s favourite: C) they’re not actually in the office at all today.

2. The Loud One

A close cousin of The Attention Seeker, The Loud One has to make all their feelings and opinions known by everyone within easy earshot (and often beyond). Somehow they are rarely ever told to be quiet (probably because they’re chummy with the boss), and will often continue talking even if there’s blatantly nobody listening to them. If you happen to try and engage them in conversation then chances are they will always steer the conversation back to them or start talking over you until they have. Wonder how loud they’d be if left to clean the serviced offices all alone after work…

1. The Hoverer

Hoverers hover for a number of reasons. They may be lonely, bored or just really, really like you (try to feel flattered and not scared). Whatever their reason, they seem to not be particularly bothered with invading your personal space or wasting their own work time doing so. While most Hoverers are merely pests who are eventually forced to retreat of their own accord, sometimes more senior staff members can exhibit the traits of the Hoverer (and then it’s far more scary having them peering over your shoulder and scrutinising what you are – or aren’t – doing).

Ella insists that she doesn’t know any examples of these exasperating office denizens in real life. Honest.

5. The Grown Up Approach (AKA Apologising)

The most boring but, sadly, usually the most effective. Try and start a conversation with the person in question (and if this starts off as an email exchange be sure to follow it up in person for face to face sincerity).  Suggest where you think went wrong with your harmonious working relationship before discussing what you think you can do to repair it.

4. The Passive Aggressive Approach

You can’t quite bring yourself to fully take the moral high ground? Then good news! Being passive aggressive means that you can superficially appear to be making a flimsy effort to fix things while still spitting out almost as much bile as you would have done had you still been fighting. Just be careful not to get too enthusiastic; you don’t want to cross the line into a full on aggressive approach. For instance, “accidentally” putting a snake under your co-worker’s desk would probably be going over the line.

3. A Duel

If there’s simply no hope of reconciliation then there’s always the gentlemanly option: a good old-fashioned duel. This is best instigated with a hearty slap in the face, preferably with a glove although you may not have one to hand (I apologise for this heinous and yet honestly unintentional pun). For expedient resolution, it’s an excellent idea to have the duel somewhere in the office and utilise the numerous improvised weapons than can be found therein (paperclips can be deadly). However, it’s probably best to establish at least some ground rules (and agree to use non-fatal techniques).

2. Get an Office Linebacker

The video explains this far better than I ever could. With someone like Terry Tate keeping the peace in your office there’d never be any disputes in the first place (although I wish we had an equivalent for London meeting rooms.)

1. Nerf Gun Battle

As shown by the video, this method of resolution is excellent for large scale and/or cross departmental disputes. The use of Nerf guns means that people are unlikely to get hurt no matter how much they get shot, and really tests your survival skills (more so than working in an office does normally anyway).

*Ella can’t be held responsible for you losing your job as a result of attempting to utilise any of the following suggestions.

A Jaguar covered up in 14,000 post-its. A prank made by an office worker’s colleagues. It took them a mere two hours to accomplish this prank.

The worker named Walt reacted by saying: “Where did my car go?”

A senior  high school prank made by group of students. It took them three hours to be done, and it cost them about $100 to buy all the post-its.

Office prank where they covered up a whole office in bright yellow post-its.

During the Memorial Day weekend in 2005 a couple of co-workers created this mosaic piece of Elvis. The work is done so detailed that the colored post-its are blending together.

Designer Rebecca Murtaugh used post-its as inspiration to create a so-called post-it-room.

Famous  video game character Mega Man.

As a result of a campaign against skin cancer, they put pink post-its on mannequins and placed them by a swimming pool to make people aware of how to treat their skin and avoid too much sun.

After a vacation this guy named Leif came back to his office and found it completely different then it usually looks like. Nearly every object in his office was switched with the exact same things but only out of cardboard.

The people behind the prank was of course his work colleagues. The bookshelf, the bulletin boards, the computers, everything was transformed, even the chair was now a big piece of cardboard. The best part was when Leif’s office manager videotaped his reaction when he first saw the “new” office, check out the video here.

If you enjoyed reading about this prank you should check out the water prank that was done to shock these guys. Speaking of cardboard, this artist made a whole apartment out of only using carton and paper.

How the office looked like before: