10. Ulysses from “Making Mr. Right”

In this forgotten 80‘s rom-com, John Malkovich plays a happy-go-lucky robotic double who tries to learn the ways of love, even though he was programmed for space travel. Just about any attempt to make John Malkovich seem human can make for a scary hour and a half of public movie viewing pleasure. Trying to make him likable under the guise that he’s not human can be downright confusing, annoying and still scary since there is a slightly better chance that the robotic Malkovich will eat your face.

9. Chip Carson from “Not Quite Human”

This barely memorable Disney Channel original TV movie tries to play on the “old artificially intelligent being trying to learn about life tale” by casting Alan Thicke as a father who desperately wants a son and resorts to building his own robotic replacement (did the end of the Cold War also put an end to Russian mail order brides in the 80s?). Since he’s a teenager (a species of mammal that are naturally confused, desperate for attention and therefore twice as annoying), he tries to adjust to normal life but since he’s got the mind of a child and the body of a Commodore 64, he malfunctions a lot and just comes off as cold and robotic as, well, Alan Thicke.

8. Soundwave from “Transformers”

The entire series was just about selling a series of toys and somehow, it’s been given an inkling of artistic credibility after all this time but even this sellout series hit the proverbial fan when a working tape-recorder/evil warrior robot was introduced into the mix. Not only did he turn into the least useful object that could ever be used in battle until the Army weaponizes Koosh balls, but he constantly talks in a synthesized “Vocoder” voice that makes him twice as annoying because he probably contributed to the rise of house music.

7. Twiki from “Buck Rogers in the 25th Century”

This manly space hero had his pick of every bounty hunter and killer for hire in the known universe to choose as his sidekick and for some reason, he chose a robot that looks C3P0’s drunk midget cousin. He doesn’t just sound annoying with his robotic Harvey Fierstein voice but he constantly mutters “Biddi, biddi” as he stumbles around. Plus the fact that he can fall in love with another robot makes him annoying and scary since it implies that he can (gulp) reproduce. At least having to listen to a litter of little Twikis “bidding” around the house will make him return himself to his manufacturer.

6. Paulie’s robot from “Rocky IV”

It may only be in one scene in this low point in movie sequel history, but it’s low enough to merit it’s own special mention. Rocky gives this massive waste of money and circuitry to Paulie as a birthday present and it’s annoying for two reasons: (1) the fact that it can understand and carry on a conversation with Sly Stallone when most of the audience can’t and (2) Rocky doesn’t get to fight the robot in the movie’s climatic scene. Guess we’ll have to wait for that in 2074 when Rocky CCLXXIV hits theaters.

5. Jinx from “Space Camp”

Every child of the 80’s easily remembers this staple of elementary school classroom holiday parties and frustrated late night Cinemax audiences who just stayed up on a work night for porn. It not only features one of the most ludicrous plots of a kids-doing-grown-up-stuff movie of all time, but it also features one of the most annoying robots who somehow sets this equally ridiculous plot in motion. If he were a tad more likable, the audience would have been rooting for Jinx to sacrifice his life to save his human friend in the movie’s final climatic scene.

4. Game Boy from “Captain N: The Game Master”

Here’s another childhood cartoon classic that was clearly just designed to be a feature length commercial to teach kiddies that they aren’t cool unless their parents buy them a certain toy, if they truly love them (mine didn’t). This robot is a human sized computer that sounds like every bad Eric Cartman impression that you’ve ever heard who is programmed only to play games and sell more Gameboys in the non-video world by making the actual Gameboy seem cool, even though it was basically just a glorified graphics calculator (glorified meaning that it didn’t actually teach you anything).

3. V.I.C.I. from “Small Wonder”

The voice of this demon child that echoed from TV sets all throughout the 1980s still rings in the darkest corners of the heads of those sorry enough to have picked up on it at an impressionable age. It’s got the sweetness of a child star (which is inherently evil) and the voice of an undead, cold-hearted killing machine that speaks in tones so droll and even, they make Ben Stein sound like Carol Channing. The show that surrounded her was supposed to be a comedy, but the unfunny material and the main character’s grating qualities made audiences go through every conceivable human emotion EXCEPT laughter.

2. R.O.B. the NES Robot

The very early days of the Nintendo Entertainment System may have been designed to bring joy into the hearts of millions but the sheer frustration of trying to complete seemingly simple games gave ulcers to 9-year-olds, long before chicken wings and cigarettes would do it for them. The only thing more irritating was this so-called “helper” robot that came with the very first NES systems. Not only did it only work on two games that were almost unplayable by themselves, but it was slow to respond and offered as much help as your uncle who drools when he falls asleep on the couch during “Cops”. The only way he could have actually been of any help with the early NES is if he came with a self-destruct function.

1. Gus Glitz from “Mr. Game Show”

There are few things more irritating than game show hosts. They can fake enthusiasm with the zeal of a high school cheerleader and teeth so white they could blind a blind man. They dress like department store mannequins and act twice as creepy. Just imagine some evil force putting the soul and style of one of these hideous beings into a toy that accentuated and exaggerated every one of their evil features and to make matters worse, they put him next to Alf as the straight man in a comedy duo from hell.

By Danny Gallagher.

5) BigDog

An amazing invention (if pretty creepy to see and hear in action) made by Boston Dynamics et al. Essentially built to function as a robotic pack mule, BigDog is notable for being dynamically stable. Able to navigate icy terrain and even recover its balance when kicked, BigDog’s four legs can effectively allow it to go places where other vehicles can’t. However, the eerie buzzing sound its modified go-kart engine makes coupled with its spidery, uncanny valley plunge-inducing way of movement makes it pretty damn weird to be around.

4) Roomba

The Roomba is a pretty awesome little machine, really. Made by the appropriately named iRobot company, it is arguably one of the most widely used household robots today. A small autonomous vacuum cleaner, the Roomba can safely navigate your home by itself thanks to a variety of intuitive sensors (including the so-called cliff sensors that stop it from falling off ledges or down stairs). While it’s certainly not one of the robotics world’s most exotic creations, it definitely gets one of life’s more mundane tasks done in a cool, science fictiony way. Additionally they are quite popular with modders and hackers; you can even control them with
a Kinect if you know how.

3) AIBO

The AIBO (Artificial Intelligence roBOt, this name also resembling the Japanese word for “pal” or “partner”) was Sony’s breakthrough robot. Able to operate autonomously, the AIBO can move around, see its environment via an inbuilt camera and recognise spoken commands. They became so popular that an AIBO convention was – and continues to be – held in Shinjuku ever year. The first model came out on May the 11th 1999, several different versions of the robot having been released before it was finally discontinued in 2006 (although the trade of second hand AIBOs continues unabated to this day). However, Sony confirmed that there would be support for the latest ERS7 model until 2013, as well as hinting at the ongoing development of the AIBO software for use in other consumer products.

2) QRIO

The QRIO (Quest for cuRIOsity) was, sadly, never available for commercial sale (and would have cost the same as a family saloon car if it had been). Another robot from the Sony stable, the two foot humanoid QRIO was capable of vocal and facial recognition as well as being able to take part in conversations, dance and run (it being awarded a Guinness World Record in 2005 for being the first bipedal robot capable of doing the latter). Its amazingly fluid movements meant that it soon became famous for performing choreographed dance routines at various different events and venues, even starring in the music video for Beck’s song Hell Yes. Alas, what could have been.

1) ASIMO

The ASIMO (Advanced Step in Innovative Mobility) was made by Honda, and was first officially unveiled in 2000. Standing at four foot three inches tall, it looks a little like a small astronaut due to its helmet-like head and curved visor. Able to recognise faces, voices and objects, the ASIMO can also hold conversations and carefully navigate its environment in a manner that is both safe for itself and nearby humans. The ASIMO’s “backpack” is actually where its battery is housed, the latest model capable of around forty minutes to one hour of operating time. ASIMO is very well travelled, having made many public appearances worldwide. Let’s face it: robot or not, you know you’ve made it when you have your own show at Disneyland.

Ella is a long time robot fanatic, having been ineffectually trying to recreate them out of cardboard boxes since she was small.

10. WALL-E from “WALL-E” (2008)

First up is the oh-so-cute eponymous enviro-bot WALL-E from Pixar Animation Studio’s 2008 Oscar-winner. The small and adorable WALL-E (or “Waste Allocation Load Lifter, Earth class,” if you wanna be fancy) spends his days cleaning up the wasteland that Earth has become, our planet having been abandoned by us humans after we made such a mess of the place (nudge nudge, environmental message, nudge nudge). WALL-E also has a cockroach companion, keeps a collection of interesting items he finds in the trash he tidies, and loves to watch his VHS copy of Gene Kelly’s 1969 musical “Hello, Dolly!” And did I mention he’s cute? ‘Cause he is. Very cute. I want one.

9. Roy Batty from “Blade Runner” (1982)

One robot that most definitely is not cute is Roy Batty, the chief villain from Ridley Scott’s mesmerising sci-fi noir “Blade Runner,” played by Rutger Hauer. Roy is a “replicant” on the run in 2019 Los Angeles with fellow automatons Zhora (Joanna Cassidy), Pris (Daryl Hannah) and Leon (Brion James). Hunting them down is human blade runner Deckard (Harrison Ford), with whom Roy comes face-to-face in the electrifying climax. Hauer is effectively creepy as humanoid Roy, a murderous robot determined to expand his limited life span by any means necessary. And Roy is a brilliant name for a villain, isn’t it? Quite, err, intimidating.

8. Bishop from “Aliens” (1986)

This battery-powered individual is neither a film’s hero nor a villain, but one of many supporting characters in the suspenseful outer-space actioner “Aliens.” Played by Lance Henriksen, Bishop is a member of the crew that goes to the planet LV-426 to battle the vicious xenomorphs in James Cameron’s action-packed sequel to Ridley Scott’s 1979 horror hit “Alien.” Our action-chick hero Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) is more than a little wary of Bishop’s presence amongst the gun-toting team, as she has had some bad experiences with mechanical men in the past (see honourable mentions below). Still, it turns out he’s a nice guy. And he also gets one of the best scenes in the film, in which he plays a little game of “nearly chop off all your friend’s fingers with a kitchen knife.” It’s a great party game, though you may need to clean up a bit afterwards. It can get messy.

7. The Iron Giant from “The Iron Giant” (1999)

Before Brad Bird was directing Pixar’s “The Incredibles” and “Ratatouille,” he helmed this criminally underrated animated gem for Warner Bros. in 1999. And the film’s main attraction? Well, it’s of course the towering man of glistening metal who falls down to Earth from the stars (voiced by Vin Diesel), discovered one late night by sparky nine-year-old Hogarth Hughes (voiced by Eli Marienthal). The two form an unlikely friendship, Hogarth teaching the innocent metallic hulk about our ways of life and finding him food (cars are a delicacy to giant robots, apparently) while hiding him from prying eyes. That is, until the big dumb-dumb poo-poo head government gets involved and screws everything up like they *always* do. Stupid government. They just don’t understand, goddamn it!

6. Optimus Prime from the “Transformers” franchise (2007-present)

And now we have the protagonist of the series that influenced this list, Optimus Prime, voiced by Peter Cullen. Wait, Optimus isn’t the protagonist? Oh, that’s right, that Shia LaBeouf kid is the main character. Anyway, he’s the leader of the good-guy robots that the audience really cares about. Yes, Optimus Prime is the head of the Autobots, a gang of heroic walking, talking, no-nonsense machines who protect the universe from the evil Decepticons, commanded by the wicked Megatron. All of these transformers have their own vehicle they can morph into, and the brave and noble Optimus can turn into a truck. And it’s a fast truck. With orange flames painted on. And flames are cool.

5. Edward from “Edward Scissorhands” (1990)

“Edward Scissorhands” sees A-list actor Johnny Depp in one of his earlier roles, which has also become one of his most iconic. In Tim Burton’s gothic fairytale, Depp plays a shy, pale-faced robot who has stayed in the attic of a gloomy castle ever since his inventor (the magnificent Vincent Price) died before completing him (as a result, Edward has razor-sharp scissors in place of where his fingers should be). A friendly Avon lady (Dianne Wiest) discovers the timid chap and takes him to her home in the ludicrously idyllic and colourful suburbs, which inevitably stirs up some trouble amongst the nosy neighbours. You don’t get any points for saying it’s because he’s a robot with sharp, pointy objects protruding from his wrists; it’s rather obvious.

4. C-3PO and R2-D2 from the “Star Wars” saga (1977-2005)

Look, I can’t choose between these two, and I guess they’re a double act anyway, right? Wherever C-3PO stumbles about, R2-D2 is guaranteed to be bleeping and blooping away in close vicinity. So, I’m putting them here together, as they always have been in George Lucas’ legendary sci-fi series. They’re a couple of droids who tag along with heroes Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Princess Leia in the original trilogy, and with Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker in the face-punchingly dreary prequel trilogy. C-3PO (performed and voiced by Anthony Daniels) is a gold-plated, intellectual translator who is fluent in over six million forms of communication, while R2-D2 (controlled by dwarf Kenny Barker) is a mobile trashcan who communicates through the aforementioned bleeps and bloops, and can tap into computer systems. They serve as a bit of comic relief in the epic franchise, but they’re the good kind of comic relief, i.e. they’re awesome.

3. HAL 9000 from “2001: A Space Odyssey” (1968)

HAL 9000 states at one point in “2001: A Space Odyssey” that he is “foolproof and incapable of error.” Yeah, right, because going completely psycho and trying to kill everyone around you is no sign of any fault or error in your system, eh, you paranoid kill-bot? Hal is a computer program that joins scientist Dr. David Bowman (Keir Dullea) on a mission to Jupiter in the Discovery One spacecraft. Slowly but surely, Hal starts to show some subtle signs of errors, resulting in David and fellow scientist Dr. Frank Poole (Gary Lockwood) deciding in secret to shut Hal down. However, Hal manages to read their lips, and takes it upon himself to try and kill everyone on the ship as they apparently pose a risk to the mission. Voiced by Canadian actor Douglas Rain, Hal is a marvellous antagonist in Stanley Kubrick’s ambitious mind-bender of a movie, managing to be sinister through only a soft monotone voice and a bright red dot on a black rectangle.

2. The T-1000 from “Terminator 2: Judgement Day” (1991)

Another villainous robot here, though this one is much more portable than Hal. The T-1000 is an android made up of liquid metal, which allows it to instantly heal from wounds and shape shift into any form it so pleases, its main form in “Judgement Day” played by Robert Patrick. Sent back into the past to terminate 10-year-old John Connor, it blends in by impersonating a police officer (which is, like, illegal) and crosses paths with Connor’s newly assigned protector, a terminator portrayed by Arnold Schwarzenegger. With the T-1000, writer-director James Cameron created one of the most memorable movie villains of all time, Patrick suitably menacing in the antagonistic role as a seemingly unstoppable robot assassin who has travelled from the future. And just look at those eyes. And those ears. Jesus, if ears could kill…

1. The Terminator from the “Terminator” franchise (1984-present)

Yes, it’s another robot from the “Terminator” series, and this one is number one of all time. If you were to call The Terminator a robot, he’d most likely inform you that he is in fact a cybernetic organism and living tissue over a metal endoskeleton. But I guess that’s still a robot, yeah? The Terminator is played by action hero Arnold Schwarzenegger, and is, like the T-1000, a robot (sorry, cybernetic organism) sent back in time on an important mission from an apocalyptic future. In the first film, he is an assassin sent back to 1984 to terminate Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) before she gives birth to the boy who would become the leader of the resistance against the machines that take over the world. In the first two sequels, however, he is the hero, reprogrammed to protect Sarah and her son John from other terminators, though each film sees a different model time-travelling to kick butt and spout iconic catchphrases (“I’ll be back,” “Hasta la vista, baby,” etc.). The character of The Terminator has become a staple of popular culture for Schwarzenegger’s stone-faced performance, and is arguably the best role the Austrian actor has ever played. Yes, even better than “Kindergarten Cop.

“

Honourable mentions: Gigolo Joe from “A.I. Artificial Intelligence” (2001); Sonny from “I, Robot” (2004); Ash from “Alien” (1979); Gort from “The Day the Earth Stood Still” (1951); GERTY from “Moon” (2009); The Maschinenmensch from “Metropolis” (1927); Robocop from “Robocop” (1987), though he’s sort of a human that’s made into a robot. Still, he’s got “robo” in his name; that’s enough for me.

By Stephen Watson

These tiny robots, created by Jenn and Tony Bot, may look edible, but believe you me, they are not. I found that out the hard way.

Made of  glass beads, wire and polymer clay, the robots weigh in at about 2 ounces and stand 2.5 cm tall. This Blog Rules has picked some of its favorites and put them on display for you below the jump. You can spot Jack Sparrow, Miss Piggy, Batman, Spiderman, and other iconic characters in the bunch. If you buy these and have them delivered to you, I strongly recommend not biting into them, no matter how scrumptious they appear.

“It’s tea time! If I keep saying that enough, eventually it will actually be tea time when I do, and I’ll look a little less crazy.” “My suspenders are too tight. I’ve never wished death on anyone, but if this ship hits an iceberg at least I won’t have to wear them anymore.” “See that big, fat slob behind me? Rumor has it he’s eaten 14 baby Gungans in his day.” “Believe it or not, it’s not very comfortable to hang upside down for three straight hours.” “So, check this. I walked in this morning and caught Donatello massaging the washing machine. Didn’t realize the lyrics ‘Donatello does machines’ were literal until today.” “It turns out that talking robots are not a myth. Next week on Mythbusters, we drop a danish into pig vomit and see if the 5 second rule applies.” “Heyyaa! Kermieeee! Aaaag!!” “When was the last time this grass was cut? 30 years ago? Jesus, this palace has horrible lawn care.” “Madness is like gravity. All it takes is a little push!” “Milking a franchise until it runs completely dry? Never heard of it..” “I’m Harry Potter. No, really. Snape dropped acid and then thought it would be funny if he turned me into a tiny robot. Weirdo.” “Hello, I’m Ian McKellen, standing in my full Gandolf garb. But I am not really a wizard. You see, I am pretending.” “It seems I forgot to send Jay Leno a Christmas card this year. That was a mistake. Yea, that’s it. A mistake.” “Swear to me!”

You can see Jenn and Tony’s entire collection of little robots at Lubucrew. If you’re into these tiny bots, you may also like these small cardboard pieces created by Anton Tang. Hmm, I’m beginning to think we might be able to fill an entire museum with nothing but little sculptures. But it’s going to be up to you, reader, to get on that.

Using storage doors as inspiration, the Slovakian photographer Branislav Kropilak has made a series of pictures that he calls “Depots”. It’s basically photographs of different doors that lead to several storages or depots, but the trick is that they all look like robot heads.

Kropilak always gets inspired by industrial design, urbanism and simply the relationship between humans and technology. Still this is not the first time doors have been used as a base for art – this graphic designer used garage doors and pimped them with 3D image prints.