The Most Hilariously Useless Inventions In History

Some of the most famous personalities in history have managed to reach stardom by being the masterminds behind the most game-changing inventions ever made. Given how much influence electricity, cars, television, and other things have in our daily lives, it’s easy to see why we should feel prompted to kiss the ground all of their inventors walked on. But, unfortunately, not everyone manages to hit the jackpot and some inventions were… questionable, at the very least. These are The Most Hilariously Useless Inventions In History.

#1 Remote Headband

Useless Inventions

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“Mom, where’s the TV remote?” It’s right in your hand, honey!

For all of you who grew tired of constantly turning sofa pillows upside down on your quest to find the remote, there is an invention that will save you all. This headband is here for all of your remote-depositing needs and you’ll be thrilled to know that you can attack to your head even as much as six remotes at a time. Wicked!

#2 Subway Chinrest

Useless Inventions

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Snoozing on the subway while we’re on our way to work is something that’s happened to the best of us. But it’s not really easy to accomplish this deed when said subway is filled to the brink with passengers. Needless to say, there are no empty seats that you can catch some zzz’s on. Well, then, it’s a good thing that you’ve brought your subway chinrest with you! This magical tool is here to support your head as you go full donkey and pay a brief visit to the dreamland while still standing up.

#3 The Pet Rock

Useless Inventions

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You wake up on Christmas morning early, you wait for your child to march down the stairs, and you smile when you see their face light up at the sight of the tiny cage with breathing holes in it. Your son or daughter finally has a pet – a pet rock. You can take the modern approach a purchase the friendly animal in its modern version, which comes with an USB cord. The best part is that the cord rightfully fits the energy of the rock because it does absolutely nothing!

#4 Hair Visor

Useless Inventions

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Going bald? There’s no need to worry. This brilliant cap is going to restore your precious head garment with just one easy step. Strap the cap on and you’ll have rich and luscious locks spurting once again. The only underside is that you have to wear it, pretty much, all the time, but we say that it’s totally worth it.

#5 Handerpants

Useless Inventions

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This invention is so notorious for its questionable creativity that we actually debated whether we should add it or not. After all, this list is all about useless inventions and we can’t see a time in our life when we wouldn’t need a pair of finger underpants to embellish our hands. You’ll surely be the life of any party you attend while flaunting these babies.

#6 The Pizza Fork

Useless Inventions

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The pizza fork is here to solve the only problem that we all had with pizza – the fact that it required us to use both of our hands. Naturally, that only happens when you choose to go about the civilized way and eat pizza chunks with the fork. If you’re sick of not being able to text while cutting your pizza, then look no further than this invention to get rid of this inconvenience.

#7 Toilet Golf

Useless Inventions

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Tired of doing boring, mundane things like reading or playing games on your phone while tending to your biological functions? Thanks to this invention, you can now lower your handicap and practice everyone’s favorite sport straight from the throne. Experience golf like never before! Acquire this game now and you’ll get, for free, the chance to try and explain this to the rest of your family.

16 Most Insane Things Found By Airport Security

I sure hope that TSA employees receive regular payment bonuses for their job because it’s definitely one of the most nerve-wracking occupations at the moment. They are obligated to follow a set of incredibly strict regulations, and a single mistake can prove to be dangerous or even catastrophic. But, aside from being awfully stressful, this job also comes with another amazing feature: human contact.

When working with such a big influx of passengers going back and forth between flights, you are bound to encounter all kinds of people. After writing up this list of the 16 Most Insane Things Found By Airport Security On Travelers, I’m tempted to say that TSA workers have seen it all. Don’t believe me? By all means, read on.

1. Dead Snakes

Insane Things Found By Airport Security - Dead Snakes

I’m resisting the urge to make a Snakes On A Plane joke. It’s too easy. According to the TSA blog, a passenger alerted the explosive substance detector’s alarm. When airport security checked the traveler’s luggage, they discovered bags filled with liquid and dead venomous snakes. The best part is that, legally, there was nothing wrong with that, since there’s no law against deceased snakes flying on a plane.

2. Saw Blades

Saw Blades - Insane Things Found By Airport Security

Bringing sharp objects with you on a plane is vehemently forbidden. This is why, usually, when someone is caught carrying these types of objects with them, this is either because they’ve never been in an airport before or they have some scores to settle if you catch my drift. In this case, it was shockingly neither. Those were Christmas gifts!

3. Grenades

Grenades, Among The Insane Things Found By Airport Security

Let’s say that you weren’t aware that you are forbidden to bring on board liquids that go over a certain limit. That’s understandable. Let’s say you didn’t know you can’t bring razors either. On a good day, we’ll say that’s also understandable. But grenades? This is what a passenger, who was caught carrying a grenade in his baggage, claimed.

4. Cannonball

Insane Things Found By Airport Security - Canonball

Given how quickly this is escalating, I’m hoping number ten won’t be something like a tank or a fully armed AK-47 hidden among socks. Anyway, an actual cannonball was found in a luggage, and it caused so much panic that the respective area of the airport was evacuated, and a team of bombing technicians and explosive specialists was summoned. Fortunately, it turned out to be harmless.

5. Cellphone (Stun Gun)

Stun Gun - Insane Things Found By Airport Security

Someone disguised a stun gun into a cell phone and thought they could casually carry it through airport security. You can barely get through airport security with some hand lotion, let alone a stun gun.

6. Powder Horn

Insane Things Found By Airport Security Include A Powder Horn

As aesthetically pleasing this horn might be, it was actually very dangerous. Discovered at Little Rock, within a carry-on baggage, it hid roughly three ounces of black powder, which is incredibly flammable.

7. Chastity Belt

 Insane Things Found By Airport Security - Chastity Belt

Uh… So, apparently, someone was so worried about the integrity of their chastity, that they decided to take a page out of the medieval book and wear a belt to protect it. Needless to say, the checkpoint gate alarms couldn’t have possibly known about the passenger’s noble intentions.

8. Fish

Fish - Insane Things Found By Airport Security

From the “animals on planes” category, we bring you: beings of Earth’s seas and oceans. Unlike the snakes, though, these 163 tropical fish and the other approximately 70 aquatic species were still alive and kicking. The traveler was allegedly flying them so they would inhabit a big aquarium. The TSA disagreed, confiscating them and passing them to the US Fish and Wildlife Service.

9. Shurikens

Shurikens, Among The Insane Things Found By Airport Security

Found at more than one airport checkpoint in the USA, shurikens are weapons that were famously used by ninjas. There are so many questions here. Are these people collecting them? Are they criminals with a fine taste in weaponry? Are they actual ninjas? If so, the fact that they travel via plane kind of shatters the mystery surrounding them.

10. Minefield

Insane Things Found By Airport Security - Minefield

You thought a grenade and a razor were bad? What about a whole minefield, full of replica claymore mines?

11. VCR Filled With Smartphones

VCR Filled With Smartphones - Insane Things Found By Airport Security

When the TSA began thinking that there was something suspicious about a particular VCR that a passenger was transporting, upon cracking it open, they discovered that they had a good reason for it. Next to a VHS tape were lined up twenty-three smartphones, all wrapped one by one in aluminum foil and taped to the VCR unit. Even though this was a painfully obvious case of black marketing, the traveler got the green light to board them on the plane, since they weren’t considered to be dangerous.

12. Grenade Launcher

Insane Things Found By Airport Security Include A Grenade Launcher

Found in a luggage at Seattle Tacoma, this grenade launcher probably belonged to someone who was going to meet up with the other fellows that had been caught with grenades on them. An eye for an eye, a grenade for a launcher.

13. Bear Spray

 Insane Things Found By Airport Security - Bear Spray

A passenger was stopped by security at the Newark airport and it was discovered that he was carrying bear spray in his sock. The world is unpredictable, so it never hurts to be prepared at all times for the moment that bear apocalypse is going to kick in.

14. Pigeons

Pigeons - Insane Things Found By Airport Security

No, they weren’t dead. No, they weren’t in the passenger’s baggage. A man was arrested at the Melbourne airport after it was discovered that he transported two live pigeons in his trousers.

15. Illegal Content In A Grenade

Drugs In A Grenade, Some Of The Insane Things Found By Airport Security

Someone thought that the best way to sneak an illegal thing through airport security is by hiding it inside another illegal thing. Even the TSA employees were bewildered by the passenger’s choice of transportation.

16. Human Skull

Insane Things Found By Airport Security - Human Skull

Upon the inspection of a baggage, TSA agents working at Fort Lauderdale found actual human remains inside of several clay pots. The passengers that were transporting them claimed they had no idea about the sinister contents, but the area was still considered a crime scene afterward and thoroughly inspected.

Being a TSA agent is an… interesting job to say the least. As proven by the 16 Most Insane Things Found By Airport Security, when an alarm goes off, you can find a variety of things: some hilarious, some incredibly weird, and some able to potentially cause a hazard of proportions. Therefore, with all these things in mind, think carefully if you can put up with situations like these if you’re planning on getting a job at an airport’s security gates.

Image sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16.

The Weird Magazines You Can Read if You Really Want to

 

 

 

 

 

 

We already knew that the world was a strange place but who knew that it was this freaking strange? The list of the weird magazines you can read if you want to is long and unsettlingly compelling.

Sheep!

The Weird Magazines You Can Read if You Really Want to

For me, the thing that really elevates this magazine into the realms of the best ovine publication around is the fact that there is an excitable exclamation mark in the name. They really, really want this to be a cracking good read that gets you excited, don’t they? The story about making buttons from sheep horns sounds especially fascinating.

Crappie World

The Weird Magazines You Can Read if You Really Want to

Apart from having the best magazine name in the entire known universe, Crappie World also looks like a riveting read. Spawn’s Over What’s Next? they ask. If I’m being honest I have absolutely no idea but now that you mention it I wouldn’t mind finding out.

Knives Illustrated

The Weird Magazines You Can Read if You Really Want to

If you thought that knives were just for cutting things then it could be time to think again. These useful kitchen implements can also form the basis of a satisfying and moderately healthy obsession. I mean hobby.

Fashion Doll

The Weird Magazines You Can Read if You Really Want to

Anyone who likes to dress up creepy dolls in a sinister fashion outfit will be rushing to buy this weird magazine as fast as their legs can carry them. Sadly, it appears to be only a quarterly publication, so you will have a few sad, empty months in your life while you wait for the next edition.

Miniature Railway

The Weird Magazines You Can Read if You Really Want to

I find it scarcely believable that any person of sound mind could fill a magazine with “52 pages of miniature railway content”. My mind is at least put at ease by the banner proclaiming it as the “UK’s action-packed miniature railway guide”. Here was me thinking that it might be just a little bit dull and lacking in action.

Portable Restroom Operator

The Weird Magazines You Can Read if You Really Want to

It must be a lonely business operating a portable restroom. Sure, there’s the buzz of taking it to the latest destination and the thrill of seeing people from different cities poop in it but wouldn’t it be great if you could reach out and network with other portable restroom operators? This weird magazine promises very little to anyone who hasn’t built a career out of transporting toilets around. Which is just about every single person in the whole world, really.

Miniature Donkey Talk

The Weird Magazines You Can Read if You Really Want to

Owning a miniature donkey used to be a hobby fraught with danger. It really was a step into the unknown, as you worried about what would happen if the little chap became obese, suffered from winter colic or even got a deadly cough. Even worse, what is the situation with regards to your liability for loose donkeys? It was almost enough to put you off the idea of buying a tiny donkey in the first place.

Bacon Busters

Weird Magazines

So, you not only like hunting hogs but you also like reading about other people hunting them, eh? Have you ever considered a new hobby? I hear that miniature railways offer a lot of pleasure and action.

Girls and Corpses

Weird Magazines

In the world of weird magazines you need to go a long way to beat Girls and Corpses. I chose one of the more subtle covers for you to peruse but I reckon that you get the idea.

10 Funny Menu Items

Ordering a meal in a restaurant can be a nerve racking experience at times. It is made even worse when you have to make your choice from inexplicable and funny menu items like the 10 funny menu items on this list.

The Tart Waitress

Funny Menu Items

I have to admit, the rest of this menu looks pretty classy. I’m not stylish or cutting edge enough to have ever tried marinated artichokes. I wouldn’t recognize a piece of manzano cheese if it slapped me in the face. However, the elegance of the menu is let down by the promise of a tarty waitress.

The Weird Stuff

Funny Menu Items

I don’t know where to start with this funny menu. I do know that harsh fresh you is going to be my favorite insult from now on. The irritable scalloped kidney sounds more like a nasty disease than a menu item. It might be worth a try I suppose.

The Ice Dessert

Funny Menu Items

I’m a big fan of cheese cakes. I would be really tempted to have one as dessert in this place. However, the 10lb bag of ice might be a more tempting option. Are you expected to eat all that frozen water, or is it a sort of compress to put on your hugely bloated stomach after pigging out on wings and nuggets?

The God Menu

Funny Menu Items

Eating isn’t usually a religious experience. But, if you order God with vanilla from this restaurant it might well be.

The Crap Item

Funny Menu Items

So, you really like seafood, do you? I’m sure your arteries are grateful for this. If you really want to treat yourself to some sea based treats, why not add some crap onto it? The foot long option gives you more crap than you could possibly imagine.

The Weird Menu

Funny Menu Items

I don’t know which funny menu item sounds more appetizing here. I am a sucker for fried rolled up trousers. But the false dog-meat pork has got my mouth watering as well. Otherwise, I guess I’ll just need to be boring and settle for a plain old stewed gastric pig.

The Wikipedia Entry

Weird Menu Items 

Is there anything on Earth tastier than getting an unreliable internet encyclopedia? Then, you can pop it in a wok and stir frying the beejezus out of it. I think not.

The Boner Meat

Funny Menu Items

Err, I think I’ll stick to the scampi if you don’t mind. And another thing: who the hell eats chips (French fries) in pitta bread? That’s just about the worst thing I’ve ever seen on a menu. The chips and cheese sounds sort of tempting though, in a gooey, horribly sticky sort of a way.

The Irish Dinner

Funny Menu Items

If you have ever fancied eating a traditional Irish dinner, there apparently isn’t too much to it. Just pop a potato in the microwave, and line up a few beers.

The Fried Nonsense

Funny Menu Items

Perhaps the most difficult thing about eating in this restaurant is choosing between whether you want your nonsense fried or boiled. It’s a tough choice. I’m sure you will eventually be able to settle down to a lovely plate of nonsense.

The World’s Strangest Phobias

We are all afraid of something, aren’t we? Personally, I constantly worry about my trousers falling down in a public place. Even that isn’t so bizarre compared to the world’s strangest phobias around.

Lleguminophobia – Fear of Baked Beans

The World's Strangest Phobias

The guy in the photo is called Rob Griffiths. He has a secret to confess. He is scared of tinned baked beans. This sensitive chap wasn’t just unlucky in this respect. Oh no, he was doubly cursed. He ended up getting a job as a chef. This meant that he sometimes had to heat up the hideous “orange devils” as he calls them. Thankfully, there was a happy ending. He quit his job and now cleans windows for a living.

Coulrophobia – Fear of Clowns

Strange Phobias

Perhaps the most surprising thing about the fear of clowns is that it isn’t as uncommon as you might think. Among the celebrity sufferers of this weird phobia is Johnny Depp. So, it’s ok to inflict a guy with scissors for hands and a headless horseman on the world, but a cheerful guy with a painted smile is something to be afraid of?

Selenophobia – Fear of the Moon

Bizarre Phobias

Are you afraid of the moon? If you are then you suffer from a strange phobia called selenophobia. If you suffer from shortness of breath, weakness of knees and intense sweating while looking at the moon, then you probably suffer from selenophobia.

Xanthophobia – Fear of the Colour Yellow

Strangest Phobias

Yellow; it’s not a bad old colour, is it? Some would even call it mellow. Sure, it doesn’t have the same gripping image of purple, the cutting edge danger of red or the broad appeal of blue. But, it’s certainly not something to be afraid of.

Metrophobia – Fear of Poetry

Unusual Phobias

It is time for me to make a confession; I find poetry insufferably boring. Why would anyone want to spend hours and hours of their life writing or reading this nonsense? However, I’m not sure if I’m physically afraid of it. Actually, if you sat me down with a bunch of stuff from Wordsworth or Shakespeare, then I might very well break out in a cold sweat.

Genuphobia – Fear of Knees

Weird Phobias

Aren’t knees just the scariest thing ever? If you answered yes to that question, then you probably suffer from the strange phobia known as genuphobia. Seriously dude, why are you so scared of knees? They’re only knobbly things that stop our legs from collapsing.

Papaphobia- Fear of the Pope

Bizarre Phobias

What’s the Pope ever done to harm you? I could maybe understand people having papaphobia in the days of religious persecution and the Spanish Inquisition. But, Pope Francis isn’t really likely to harm you, is he?

Geniophobia – Fear of Chins

Strange Phobias

Can you imagine what life would be like if you had an intense and irrational fear of chins? Even shaving would become a dark and mysterious business that led to tears every time.

Ergophobia – Fear of Work

Weird Phobias

If you are a feckless, work-shy lay about, then don’t admit this to anyone. Especially don’t admit it to your boss. Instead, claim that you have ergophobia . You’ll get a lot of sympathetic looks and probably won’t even get fired.