Weird beards and funny moustaches have managed to straddle the blurred line between art, competitive event and downright insanity in recent years. The rise in popularity of beard and moustache competitions means that we can enjoy some spectacular photos of outrageous facial hair.
The World’s Best Beard
This chap has been officially crowned as the owner of the best beard in the world. Hooray! He is called Elmar and he is the kind of guy it would be nice to sit down and have a drink with. Elmar, I would say in my most polite and reverential voice, you need to get out more.
The Two Level Beard
This guy bears a kind of passing resemblance to Elmar, doesn’t he? In a way I kind of hope it is the same chap in both photos. It would give me a little more hope for the future of the world to think that there aren’t 2 people as mad about their facial hair as this. On a technical level – and bear in mind that I am no expert here – I think this two level, multi coloured affair is quite possibly the most ridiculous piece of facial hair I have ever seen in my life.
The Poignant Beard
The kind of sad and poignant look on this man’s face screams out to me, “I’ve wasted years of my life on cultivating a ridiculous beard and some idiot called Elmar just blew me out the water”. Have you noticed the tendency for weird beard guys to wear glasses? Or for people with glasses to grow weird beards, for that matter?
The Complete Facial Hair
Have you ever wondered what would happen if a brilliant yet dangerously unbalanced scientist decided to cross a member of ZZ Top with a character from Sesame Street and a broom? No, you probably haven’t. As far as I know this isn’t a world beard championship entrant. It might not even be a real beard for all I know. Or even a real person. I just put him in here to break up the tension a little.
The Cool Beard
It seems that having freaky facial hair is quite a serious business. These bizarre competitions involve categories with names like Garibaldi and Imperial. This man is taking part in the mysteriously titled Freestyle Goatee event. There is some sort of strange beard and moustache subculture going on here that I never knew a thing about before today.
The Happy Beard
Do you know what I like about this photo? This is an exuberantly bearded man who seems to get genuine enjoyment out of his status as having outrageous facial hair. Sure, the world laughs at him mercilessly and one day he will realise his utter, utter folly. Still, he’s happy. And if he’s happy I am happy.
The Weird Beard
I am starting to think that I might mosey along to one of these world beard championships after all. Sadly, genetics has deemed that I will only be a spectator rather than a fully bearded entrant or a freestyle goatee dude.
The Chops Beard
This bearded fellow is called Chops by his equally hirsute competitors. It’s probably a big day for you when you get called Chops at a world beard championship event. I hope he was proud.
The Bee Beard
We might as well finish off by facing up to the fact that beards don’t always need to be made of hair. For instance, a perfectly sensible option for the debonair gentleman about town is to get a swarm of bees to hang off his chin. Apparently there are competitions held for this sort of thing as well. If you are interested in trying it at home you will need a queen bee, a lot of patience and no common sense whatsoever.