A Huge Festering Pile of Unflattering Politician Photographs

The August 15, 2011 issue of Newsweek featured a picture of the shape-shifting T-1000 terminator impersonating Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann.

"Minnesota Nice" in a nutshell.

 

A behind-the-scenes reenactment of the photo shoot.

The mainstream librul meedya took Newsweek editor Tina Brown to task for the unflattering photo of Michele Bachmann, calling it sexist, anti-conservative, mean, poo poo caca. Bad Newsweek. Bad, bad Newsweek.

But it’s not like U.S. media outlets have never featured crappy politician pictures on their covers. Check out this New York Post cover about Charles Rangel, the U.S. Representative from New York:

And the mainstream librul meedya said, "THAT'S RACIST! IT DEPICTS AFRICAN-AMERICANS AS LAZY!" Just kidding, liberals are too chickenshit to play that card these days.

We at This Blog Rules feel that the Psycho Bachmann Newsweek cover is just a hilariously shitty picture of a political candidate. In fact, we think there should be more shitty photographs of politicians.

In the spirit of kicking these people while they’re up, we present to you, in alphabetical order by first name (just to prove our political neutrality) a wide range of unflattering photographs of United States politicians — and of course their family members, because they matter, for reasons unknown to political philosophers…

Note: Scroll down for bonus sections “Pictures of Politicians Eating Hot Dogs and Corn Dogs” and “The French and English.”

Barack Obama

"Grog goin' fix 'conomy. Grog love his cuntry. You come back Grog cave, cook me big lunch."

 

Chelsea Clinton

"Yes, I can see why you think what you're saying is sooo fascinating. I'm in shock."

 

Donald Rumsfeld

Groundhog Day 2007: The little guy emerged from his hole and put his paws on the dais. Did he see his shadow? We don't know, but he's kind of adorable.

 

Hillary Clinton

We realize it's a low blow to include bad photos of Hillary Clinton, as there seem to be just so...fucking...many of them. But we never said we were against low blows.

 

Joe Biden

In the wild, the Laughing Biden hunts its prey by throwing a makeshift "baby catcher" upon his intended victim. If successful, he will take it home to show his mate, who will reward him with ass.

 

John Kerry

Gnnnnnnngh! Ha ha! Hrrrrnnngh! Hee hee, football. Arrrrrrgh! Ha ha, sports.

 

John McCain

A screenshot of McCain's audition video for the role of the boss in Office Space. "I'm gonna have you go ahead and assemble Congress on Saaaturday..."

 

Laura Bush

Laura Bush

What is it with politicians and tongues? They can't seem to keep the meaty little things inside.

 

 

Michelle Obama

The classic Michelle Obama shitty picture. Everyone's seen it. If you haven't, well now you have.

 

Mitt Romney

"I put a poopie over there."

 

Randall Terry

You've probably never heard of this guy. It's a pro-life Democrat who is running against Obama in the primary. Shown here doing his Frankenstein-as-Hamlet impression.

 

Rick Perry

"Whooo! Yeeeah! I am the fuckin' governor of Texas! I hope this is obvious!"

 

Ron Paul

"But Myyyrnaaa, I don't want to take my pillllls."

 

"Oh, that's a whole lotta hooey. Get off my lawn."

 

Sarah Palin

Left: Sarah Palin's best peacock impression. Center: An android of Sarah Palin calculating the variables required to form a wink. Right: Sarah Palin disapproving of the android.

 

Bonus Section: Politicians Eating Corn Dogs and Hot Dogs

 Bonus Section: The French and English

Nicolas Sarkozy

Ed Miliband


Tony Blair

In closing, we hope these gathered photographs will inspire the media to depict more of these people in a more, shall we say, humble light.

Braaaaaaaaains.

Author Will Conley wants to ruin your life. (And doesn’t trust you to ruin it yourself).

Leave a Reply