Hollywood has provided us with a myriad of alien invasion movies in the past 70 years. Somehow, humankind has always been fascinated with the idea of extraterrestrial beings visiting us, although the possibility of this happening is close to zero, for many reasons, two of which are the fact that planet Earth isn’t as unique as we think (in the vast Universe there can be many planets that have similar solar systems and conditions to ours), and because invaluable resources can also be found on desolate planets. Regardless of the reasons of invasions, the silver screen always seems to end in disaster, for the invaders, of course. But how is it possible that an underdeveloped civilization (because this is usually the case) somehow manages to repeatedly crush aliens which are hundreds of years more advanced than us? Here are the strategical flaws that we have found.
1. They Usually Wait for a Counter-Attack
Almost all alien invasion movies follow the same pattern: there is an initial, unexpected attack during which the vast majority of humans are destroyed like ants under a jackboot. In the mean-time the aliens take a “vacation”, survivors run around screaming and the remaining military forces muster their forces. The best example in this case is Independence Day, where the aliens attack, then you watch one hour of plot-development around Will Smith who somehow manages to come up with a war-winning strategy. Another example is Skyline, where the aliens who have a giant tractor beam which can suck all humans decide to run around naked picking each human individually. So next time aliens decide to invade Earth, they’d better not wait around for Randy Quaid to insert himself through their mother-ship.
2. In God’s Name, Put some Clothes on
Is nobody else bothered by the fact that these genius, intergalactic warrior civilizations with laser shields, invisibility cloaks, tractor beams and a fleet of ships who evaporate people under their clothing don’t have clothes of their own? If you have a civilization as advanced as this, you simply can’t skip on the important stuff, and by these we are not referring to the latest fashions, but you simply cannot invade a foreign planet (which probably does not have the same living conditions as your own) with your junk flying along. Without a doubt the best example in this case is Signs. Many people laughed at the idea that they died because of water. In their defense, it wasn’t their fault that water was fatal to them, but it was their fault that they did not properly protect themselves against it. You simply cannot visit another planet without researching beforehand.
The invasion in War of the Worlds might seem better-thought out, but at a closer look you can see the same major problem. Although their shields are immune to bombs and bullets they somehow find it a good idea to start prancing about in their birthday suit while stuffing their faces with everything, like unsupervised toddlers. Of course, they eventually die from the cold. The same thing happens with E.T. Even if we are inferior beings, we still know that we shouldn’t eat or drink questionable things, or exit our houses naked during winter.
3. Never Attack America First
Attacking the most developed military force in the world is like punching a mugger in the knife. Sure, it may make sense get rid of the strongest opposition and not meet any other resistance during a war, that of course, if you are an American screen-writer, but in reality wars are very different. If you’ve ever read a history book you will know that most sieges were based on a simple rule: to rob the opposition faction of its most important resources, and watch it crumble to the ground. This rule can be applied during an alien invasion. In other words, instead of vaporizing the White House it would be more effective to attack countries that provide America and other military forces with raw materials (for example fuel). Once you have done this you can just wait around for riots to start out on the street, and the military to occupy its time trying to extinguish them. Then, and only then will you be able to crush the resistance.