The comic book world is full of the strange, the unknown, the…comical. With heroes and villains fighting in their underwear for almost one hundred years, we’d like to dive head first into the wacky world of superheroes and their powers. Oh, wait a minute. Did you think we are going into the Spiderman’s and Batman’s of the world? Monsters like Hulk or The Thing, maybe Solomon Grundy? Ha! We are going into the deep rosters of perhaps the worse of the worse. The horrible heroes and villains and their crappy superpowers! Enjoy!
Red Bee (DC Comics)
Red Bee (Rick Raleigh) has the superpower of, get this, trained bees. He keeps them in his security belt when he isn’t being a regular guy as the assistant to Superior City’s District Attorney.
Try having the ability to spew acid out of your mouth. Yep. He even vomited on a date that burned her face when he first recognized his “talent”. He didn’t stick around very long.
Color Kid (DC)
Helping a scientist one day, the Color Kid was engulfed by multi-colored lights from another dimension. He was also briefly known as the Color Queen in the 80’s after being exposed to Gender Reversal Germs.
Founding member of the rip-off mutant group “X-Statix” (seem familiar?). The guy’s superpower, sweating. You heard me, his sweat collects into balls of energy.
With Superman and Batman out of the Justice League of American, enter Vibe, the former street gang leader who has the scary ability to make things wobble. Nothing says badass like making things wobble. Fail.
Another DC character who’s name means “strange” in spanish. He is a gay magician who was attacked by a vampire with AIDS named “Hemo-goblin” who gives him HIV. I cannot believed I typed this.
The X-men’s most gross character. He gains his strength and endurance by releasing parasitic worms from his stomach cavity.
Squirrel Girl (Marvel)
The buck-toothed girl can communicate with squirrels. That’s pretty much all she can do. Can there be any more weird superheroes than her?
U.S. 1 (Marvel)
Marvel comics worst character (maybe?), U.S. 1 had the awesome ability to receive C.B. signals. Nothing more than that.
Wild Dog (DC)
Former hockey player that wears his jersey and mask while killing enemies. He looked cool, but he was no Punisher (Marvel).
So, Buford Hollis wears a pig outfit and his superpower…he can drive any vehicle. Does anyone remember him?
Being a part of the “New Mutants” is a great ice breaker when meeting someone, except when you are Cypher. He can decipher anything. Yes. Anything. He’s a translator.
Zan from the Wonder Twins (DC)
While his sister Jayna could turn into a animal of her choosing, Zan can turn into water. Well, he could turn into solid water, too. Solid water is ice. Lame. Jayna should have threw him into a fire and let him disintegrate. Hey, would he come back, because that would be steam.