Have you ever walked past a church and been stopped in your tracks by a strange sign asking a deep and meaningful question? Maybe it was one of these.
The Hokey Pokey Sign
I have often spent my idle hours moving my arms and legs and wondering whether the Hokey Pokey is what life is all about. I haven’t really but did I fool you into thinking that I had? The Rev Rod Ferguson appears to have had a rip snorting sermon lined up for this day.
The Moustache Question?
This seems like a really good moment to point out that I have started experimenting with a beard and moustache combo. It looks pretty good, even if I do now scare small children a lot more easily. However, this sign has got me worried that my moustache might not survive the trip to Heaven. What will it be like in Heaven, anyway? Will we all walk around with white clothes on and no hair on our upper lips? Sounds a bit dull, to be honest.
The Obama Sign?
It looks like someone at the Jonesville Church of God has seen a connection here that had escaped us all up until now. Sure, Obama and Osama must be brothers if they have got names that are very similar to each other. I wonder if that means that Ronald McDonald and Donald Sutherland are really brothers as well.
The Sign Sign
So, what would you do if God asked for a sign that you were real? Hey, maybe you could make a sign for him. That ought to work.
The Monkey Sign ?
You’re asking for a whole lot of trouble if you start a debate about evolution with certain people. To be fair, Darwin never suggested that we evolved from monkeys all those years ago but it seems to have been accepted as being true by most people. How on Earth does anyone think we could possibly have evolved from monkeys anyway? Everyone knows that they’re way smarter than us. Personally, I think that monkeys evolved from man and that in about say 20 years we’ll all be swinging about in the trees, eating bananas and stealing things
The Hot Sign?
There’s nothing like the threat of burning for eternity in a blazing furnace in hell to sharpen the mind. I get all hot and uncomfortable when the thermometer hits about 30, so I can’t imagine how hot under the collar I would get if things got even warmer. Hang on though, would I still have my moustache down there and would Satan force me to dance the Hokey Pokey endlessly?
The Holy Water?
This sign gives both a thought provoking question and the answer to it. Who knew that Holy Water was made by boiling the Hell out of the stuff? Actually, did you know that Holy Water can’t be disposed of in the regular way, through the plumbing? You can also find some instructions online for making your own if you are interested. Pro Tip: you’ll need Holy Salt as well for some reason.
The Preacher Hell Sign?
I’m sure that this is an intentionally funny sign. After all, it isn’t listening to the preacher that is going to be hellish, is it?