Modern Day Vampires and the Bites That Don’t Turn

By now you’ve certainly all heard about the biting incident that had fans watching the FIFA World Cup at the edge of their seats. It was at the second round match during which Uruguay had to play against Colombia without Suarez’s talent that we all started missing the striker’s presence as the team lost the match to a 2-0 defeat. But was the situation correctly assessed and did Suarez receive proper punishment for his indiscretion or may he have been too severely disciplined?

Luis Suarez and Giorgio Chiellini

An Honest Opinion- Uruguay President expresses disapproval

There has been serious debate concerning the disciplinary measures that have been taken against Liverpool’s own Luis Suarez and even the president of Uruguay intervened in the matter, expressing his clear disapproval. While he accepted that punishment was in order, he criticized the length of the four month long ban from all football-related activities (not just training together with the Liverpool or Uruguay teams, but also accessing any football stadium throughout the period of his ban). If this weren’t enough, the Uruguay president described this suspension as a “fascist ban” that was issued by the “old sons of bitches” at FIFA. During the reception held in honor of the Uruguay team as they returned home after being defeated by Colombia, Jose Mujica was asked about his impression after the World Cup and while at first, he seemed horrified by his exaggeratedly honest answers, he refused to rectify any of his comments and encouraged journalists to publish his words.

Which Are Your Chances of Getting Bitten?


As ridiculous as it may seem, there are people who have calculated the statistical probability of you getting bitten by Liverpool’s striker. And as luck would have it, there is a smaller chance of you being bitten by a great white shark or being struck by lightning. The New Statesman have shown that Suarez will have encountered no more than 6,160 opponents by the end of his career and as he has already bitten three of them, there is a one in around 2,000 chance that any of his future opponents might receive the same treatment. While it’s clear that you or I will not be playing against him in the foreseeable future, nothing is for certain. And since your chance of getting bitten by a shark is about one in 3.7 million, that of getting struck by lightning one in 10,000 and of being killed by a wasp or bee is one in 76,000, I would certainly not willingly choose to face him any time soon.

Current Options


Even though he may not play or enter in any football related activities in the future four months, there may still be hope for Luis Suarez to not spend this time without training as the striker has already received a 1,200 pound/month offer to play alongside a team from Kosovo. Hijvalia has offered Suarez an opportunity to play during his ban (this is because Kosovo has not yet become a full member of FIFA and as such, the striker would be unaffected by the ban he has just received if he would decide to play for the team). Xhavit Pacolli declared that the current offer (of 25,000 pounds and a monthly salary of 1,200 pounds) is the maximum that the team can offer, but that it still gives Suarez the opportunity of playing until November when his ban comes to an end.

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