4 Peoples’ Job Applications that Won’t Get You Hired. Or Will They?

There is no news that getting hired for the first time in your early career journey or switch the company for a better, more secure job is not an easy feat these days. Actually, it seems so hard to accomplish, that some people seem to have erased everything they knew, heard, learned or accidentally discovered on the Internet related to recruiting, how – to guides and long lists of do’s and don’ts that HR managers repeated over the years to the point of making themselves sick. Some people, against all odds, seem to live in a parallel world of human job recruitment and over the years, the funniest job applications circled the Internet for the amusement and amazement of all the others who are still lacked of imagination enough to write textbook applications.

If you want to step away of the conformist heard and join the crazy bunch, we started to surf the net for a while and came up with 4 peoples’ job applications that won’t get you hired, but turn you into an Internet star. And in some circumstances, this might sound even better than a job in an ABC store. However, since you can’t believe everything that dwells the web, you can also assume some of them are hoaxes, fakes or just media pranks.

1. Seize the opportunity!


This is not truly a fresh one but it turned out viral in social networks lately, proving to all managers worldwide that when somebody wants a job so badly, there is nothing to stand against them and his future place in the company. This one should be hired just for being motivated, ingenious, persistent, prone to research and able to correct his mistakes, determinate and passionate. Ideal candidate profile! Check the textbook and see if it’s not true! So don’t just optimize your online profile and wait for recruiters to look for you, hunt down that job and nail it!

2. When nothing else works, use your imagination


So this is a cover letter sent by a person looking for a job in…radio…? It is unclear though, as you go deeper and deeper into his or her hallucination, it’s hard to understand if he or she applies for a sexy chat service or a radio station. Either way, if you want your job application to become viral, all you need to do is talk about your precognitive skills and the projection of your inner animal, preferably an interesting and nonexistent one, like a unicorn or cockatrice or manticore for that matter.

3. Be honest. Or at least kinda


Now if this is for real… Hat down to the desperate graduate who just turned his / her family’s thousands of dollars spent on his / her education into a complete waste of time. But let’s face it, honesty is the most valuable trait a manager is looking into the employees and this one here just scored First Prize. He / she is awesome, obviously, and not afraid to show it, understands that at some point, the family’s efforts, time and wisely spent money have to be repaid in a royally manner and everything the employer must do to validate this young graduate’s life and hopes for a better future is to offer him / her a job. And he / she is kinda sincere so what else can you ask?

4. Make them cry in joy for getting to receive a job application from you!


Now this guy managed three things with his cover letter: make you laugh, break your heart and get you curious about him. This is a winner combination most graduates won’t nail not even after a thousand “by the book” job applications.  Sources back in the day were asking themselves if this guy isn’t just the biggest troll that ever blessed the recruitment world, or if he is this genuinely naive, sincere and open – hearted. Tough one to break, but for virality purposes, you can try pull a similar job too.  But this guy? This guy is Divinity’s gift to HR specialists.

For hiring purposes, honesty is perfect and getting the future boss curious enough to call you in for an interview is even better. Some peoples’ job applications that won’t get you hired, but turn you into an Internet star are as funny as can be, still, some old school strategies might be more helpful.

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