Review: Star Wars Christmas Holiday Special

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Christmas Holiday TV specials have a history of dipping their toes into the deep end of the mediocrity pool.

I guess TV executives assume the only people watching TV on Christmas are children and extremely drunk adults. They must think this demographic doesn’t deserve much, so they lower the quality bar to an impossible limbo low, which snaps the spine of any sober or sane person willing to watch it.

There has been an almost endless litany of TV Holiday stinkers. So many in fact that if they were represented by lights they’d form something similar to the milky way. The brightest of all lights in this constellation of shame is a beacon of poorly thought out ideas and horrible cameos. The TV Star of Bethlehem I refer to is the Star Wars Holiday Special.

If you thought Anakin’s cornball one liners, the explanation of Midichlorians and Jar Jar Binks were bad…then you’ve seen nothing.

This “special” has a very loose story line based around Chewbacca trying to get home for the non-denominational life Christmas equivalent of day.

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This tame storyline is littered with viewing garbage such as annoyingly large periods of wookie dialogue, a crappy childishly drawn cartoon about Boba Fett and songs sung by Bea Aurthur and Princess Leia.

It’s hard to describe the true horror a Star Wars fan has whilst watching their favorite characters reluctantly recite cringe worthy lines and act out scenes that would make Jar Jar Binks fans blush.

George Lucas has tried to bury this rotting corpse, but he must have buried it in an Indian burial ground because it just keeps coming back to haunt him.  It’s also been rumored the CIA has adopted the Star Wars Holiday Special as a new form of mental torture to replace the now out-of-vogue waterboarding.

It seems many have taken to youtube to express their disgust for this film, if we can even call it that. We’ve assembled a collection of their video reviews below.  Happy “Life Day!”

This article was written by James Faust from TheLamest.com

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