The Ridiculous Travel Accessories You Should Never, Ever Use

If you love to travel then you might like to take a few travel accessories away with you. Let’s just hope you don’t go wandering round the planet with any of these ridiculous items.

Paper Underwear

Funny Travel Accessories

Can you explain what the point of paper underwear is? Sure, I get that it must be a thrill to feel that paper crinkling away next to your private parts all day long but is it meant to be environmentally friendly, a boon for travellers or both? Whenever I see this stuff I imagine the horrible situation of someone who keeps the same pair of paper boxers on for far too long and they end up all horrible and dirty and ripped and stuff.

Wire Security Meshes

Ridiculous Travel Accessories

So, you’re a backpacker. If you are lucky the most expensive item in your backpack cost you about $2 and now smells like a badger has died in after rolling around in manure for a few hours. Why then would you consider it necessary to chain the thing up in some sort of unbreakable wire mesh and attach it to a metal post? You do realise that mad foreign criminals who wouldn’t otherwise have looked at you twice will now kill you in order to obtain the key to your smelly treasure chest?

The Luggage Drink Holder

Ridiculous Travel Accessories

If there is one thing I always think when I am pushing my suitcase through the airport it is; where could I balance a hot beverage in a precarious manner? The best answer I have come up with so far is on my partner’s shoulder but to be honest she is getting fed up with this. This stunningly ridiculous travel accessory lets you carry your drink sensibly and safely.

The Brief Safe

 Useless Travel Accessories

We are back to talking about underwear again, aren’t we? We sure are. To start off with, I have no idea if the demented genius behind the brief safe was thinking about travellers when his two brain cells collided and he came up with the idea. However, the idea of hiding money in a piece of underwear with a fake dirty stain on it is too good to confine it to the borders of your home country.

The Laptop Stash Card

Ridiculous Travel Accessories

So you want to hide your most valuable possessions somewhere no thief would ever think of looking for it? Hmmm, I’ve got an idea for you. It might sound a little crazy at first but just stick with me. You know that highly expensive laptop you are taking away with you? Yeah? Well, how about if you put your money and cards and things in there. It’s got be better than putting them in your underwear, at least.

The Banana Bunker

Useless Travel Accessories

How many times have you suffered the burning shame and indignity of having to eat a bruised banana on your travels? It’s horrible, I know. Well, the banana bunker is here to end your suffering. This banana case costs far more than the fruit itself but comes in a variety of fetching colours, which is all we can really ask of a useless travel accessory.

The Wi-Fi Detecting T-Shirt

Ridiculous Travel Accessories

You are a geek and you are, quite frankly, proud of it. As you stroll through foreign lands in an ungainly way why not crank up your geek-o-meter to the next level by wearing a garment that shows when you are in a Wi-Fi zone? Attractive foreign people of both sexes will fall over each other to be near you, you groovy travelling hipster.

The Taxi Phone App

Ridiculous Travel Accessories

As you stand at the side of the road in Ulan Bator or Guatemala City you might start getting frustrated at the fact that no taxis stop for you. Hang on though, what if you had a handy phone app that turned your iPhone into a taxi sign. Yeah, that ought to do the trick.

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