The Most Hilariously Useless Inventions In History

May 21, 2016 By Toby Isaacson Leave a Comment

Some of the most famous personalities in history have managed to reach stardom by being the masterminds behind the most game-changing inventions ever made. Given how much influence electricity, cars, television, and other things have in our daily lives, it’s easy to see why we should feel prompted to kiss the ground all of their inventors walked on. But, unfortunately, not everyone manages to hit the jackpot and some inventions were… questionable, at the very least. These are The Most Hilariously Useless Inventions In History.

#1 Remote Headband

Source

“Mom, where’s the TV remote?” It’s right in your hand, honey!

For all of you who grew tired of constantly turning sofa pillows upside down on your quest to find the remote, there is an invention that will save you all. This headband is here for all of your remote-depositing needs and you’ll be thrilled to know that you can attack to your head even as much as six remotes at a time. Wicked!

#2 Subway Chinrest

Source

Snoozing on the subway while we’re on our way to work is something that’s happened to the best of us. But it’s not really easy to accomplish this deed when said subway is filled to the brink with passengers. Needless to say, there are no empty seats that you can catch some zzz’s on. Well, then, it’s a good thing that you’ve brought your subway chinrest with you! This magical tool is here to support your head as you go full donkey and pay a brief visit to the dreamland while still standing up.

#3 The Pet Rock

Source

You wake up on Christmas morning early, you wait for your child to march down the stairs, and you smile when you see their face light up at the sight of the tiny cage with breathing holes in it. Your son or daughter finally has a pet – a pet rock. You can take the modern approach a purchase the friendly animal in its modern version, which comes with an USB cord. The best part is that the cord rightfully fits the energy of the rock because it does absolutely nothing!

#4 Hair Visor

Source

Going bald? There’s no need to worry. This brilliant cap is going to restore your precious head garment with just one easy step. Strap the cap on and you’ll have rich and luscious locks spurting once again. The only underside is that you have to wear it, pretty much, all the time, but we say that it’s totally worth it.

#5 Handerpants

Source

This invention is so notorious for its questionable creativity that we actually debated whether we should add it or not. After all, this list is all about useless inventions and we can’t see a time in our life when we wouldn’t need a pair of finger underpants to embellish our hands. You’ll surely be the life of any party you attend while flaunting these babies.

#6 The Pizza Fork

Source

The pizza fork is here to solve the only problem that we all had with pizza – the fact that it required us to use both of our hands. Naturally, that only happens when you choose to go about the civilized way and eat pizza chunks with the fork. If you’re sick of not being able to text while cutting your pizza, then look no further than this invention to get rid of this inconvenience.

#7 Toilet Golf

Source

Tired of doing boring, mundane things like reading or playing games on your phone while tending to your biological functions? Thanks to this invention, you can now lower your handicap and practice everyone’s favorite sport straight from the throne. Experience golf like never before! Acquire this game now and you’ll get, for free, the chance to try and explain this to the rest of your family.

Ancient Aliens Debunked – What Is Actually Right

March 25, 2016 By Toby Isaacson Leave a Comment

Ancient Aliens is arguably one of History Channel’s most controversial productions, having often received criticism for its rather eldritch claims and theories. This is a show that essentially tries to convince us that humanity has, in fact, encountered extraterrestrial species in the past. The biggest pet peeve that critics and (especially) scientists have with this production is that it majorly erases some of humanity’s greatest accomplishments by claiming it was aliens who did the actual deed. In case you’ve never had the pleasure of watching an episode, you likely know about it because the Ancient Aliens guy is so famous.

Not everyone was able to have a good laugh at the Ancient Aliens meme and brush off the crazy theories – like the one which claims the pyramids were built by our friendly neighborhood aliens. Chris White, a skeptic with a good reason, decided to gnaw at the speculations of the History Channel production. He, therefore, released a three-hour-long documentary titled Ancient Aliens Debunked, which goes through some of the most raving conspiracy theories of the show and, well, debunks them.

Let’s start by dissecting the premise of this whole show, the “ancient aliens theory.” Those who believe in it consider that the evolution of humankind is a direct aftermath of past encounters with alien species that have visited our planet. Everything regarding humanity’s evolution from the homo-sapiens stage to some of our greatest technological accomplishments can be attributed to the benevolence of extraterrestrial civilizations.

It’s not as if it’s a particularly toilsome task to counter the Ancient Aliens evidence (mostly because there isn’t a lot to begin with), but Chris White really went out of his way to provide pertinent explanations and proof. Here are only a few examples that can make even an avid believer of this theory doubt the veracity of the words spoken by Giorgio on Ancient Aliens.

UFO Paintings

One of the most invoked pieces of evidence that believers of the Ancient Astronaut theory constantly turn to is the alleged depiction of UFOs in medieval paintings. One of the Ancient Aliens episodes actually revolves around this topic, bringing into discussion several artworks with a religious basis that feature bizarre objects hovering in the sky. According to History Channel’s Ancient Aliens, these objects are UFOs, captured by painters. Therefore, they serve as proof for generations to come of encounters with otherworldly visitors.

However, ask any history of art major and they will be able to confirm what Chris White claims in Ancient Aliens Debunked. These floating objects are a common theme in Byzantine period paintings, especially as far as crucifixion depictions go. Upon a closer look at the paintings so often invoked by Ancient Astronaut believers, you may notice that they all have faces. This is because it was traditional to include the sun and the moon in works of art, often by giving them human-like faces. Even the situation of the controversial picture used above is explained in the documentary as nothing but a depiction of a Bible passage.

The Pyramids

The Great Pyramid at Giza has been subject to countless conspiracy theories due to its marvelous structure and architectural genius. Many wonder how it was possible to even build it, due to its impressive height, heaviness of the used materials, and questionable means through which constructors were able to lift the pieces. Some people believe it was dinosaurs who built the great pyramids; some believe the construction was possible through the intervention of alien forces. Needless to say, the Giza pyramids are the favorite turn-to mysteries when in need of ancient proof of aliens.

In Ancient Aliens Debunked, Chris White takes every piece of proof the History Channel show offers one by one and essentially explains why there isn’t actually any basis for it. Ancient Aliens claims that there was no way Egyptians could have cut the granite used for the pyramid’s construction with the technical means they had at that time. Seemingly, it was only possible through the use of alien diamond-tip weaponry. But, wait – it also strongly believes that the only way to get all those materials so high up was by levitating the blocks.

However, all of these claims are rebutted; not just by Chris White, but by historians who can confirm that Egyptians did, in fact, have access to means to build the Great Pyramid at Giza. Archeologists have discovered much backup evidence, including the fact that the pyramid’s material was actually a mix of limestone and sandstone. Moreover, Egyptians definitely could have lifted the blocks through the use of plain sleds and papyrus ropes, as supported by the many artwork depictions of the construction process.

Easter Island

Most of us are familiar with the stone sculptures on the Easter Island, referred to by locals as the Moai. They didn’t manage to elude the curiosity of the Ancient Aliens TV show either. The show’s producers have plenty of questions. How were they built? How did they get there? Who or what built them? They are made to be complete mysteries, despite the fact that countless pieces of evidence provide answers to all of these questions.

When archeologists unearthed the sculptures, they found several of them abandoned mid-construction. They took photographs, which we can easily find online, and which tell us the story of how they were built. It seems like Ancient Aliens is aware of that, which is why they insist on another question: how could the Moai have been transported via a wood sled when there are no trees on the island? It’s pretty strange to assume that there have never been any trees on the island, but perhaps even stranger to claim that there was no way to get wood otherwise. Regardless, Chris White complies and offers in-depth explanations for this theory as well.

Believe what you want to believe. There’s definitely no one to stop you. Ancient Aliens isn’t the first conglomerate of people that strongly believe in alien conspiracy theories, as loony as some of them may sound to us. This means they definitely won’t be the last. The History Channel show and the Chris White documentary both provide points of views as different as the sun and the moon. Perhaps only one of them is right, perhaps no one is right, or maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle. Either way, Ancient Aliens Debunked definitely seems to have the better support of solid proof so far, so we can only side with Chris White this time. No offense to the Ancient Aliens guy, we definitely had a lot of laughs thanks to him.

Image sources: 1, 2, 3, 4.

5 Terrifying Alien Conspiracies That May Be True

March 8, 2016 By Toby Isaacson Leave a Comment

The expression “conspiracy theory” has always existed, but it undoubtedly met a boom in popularity in recent years. This happened as a result of things such as the Illuminati becoming extremely present in media and especially in the YouTube comment sections of big VEVO channels. Some, if not most of these theories are ridiculous or completely insane. There are people that genuinely believe the moon is a hologram, that dinosaurs built the pyramids or that the world is ruled by alien lizards in human suits. But speaking of aliens: the existence of extraterrestrial life is the oldest conspiracy theory out there.

Are we alone in the universe? Here’s one question that still hasn’t been answered, regardless of all the proof and testimonies that strongly indicate we’re not the sole inhabitants of this huge universe. These 5 Terrifying Alien Conspiracies That May Be True are supported by many people, which makes their likelihood all the more possible.

1. JFK Assassinated by the CIA

The only thing more speculated than UFO’s is John F. Kennedy’s assassination. Many theories have tried to explain the reasoning behind the tragedy and an alien conspiracy is one of them. Apparently, JFK himself witnessed a UFO and made it his goal to search for the truth. In fact, some of his last words before his death had to do with his intention to bring to light all the secrets of outer space life. Because of this, some people believe that he was assassinated by the CIA in order to silence him and keep the public in the dark.

2. Illuminati World Control

Since it’s clear that trying to take control of the world via Beyonce and Katy Perry music videos isn’t going so well, the New World Order has been working on something else. In 2009, a strange blue light was recorded in the sky of Norway. Officially, it is said to have been a meteorological phenomenon. Conspiracy theorists, however, buy none of that. They think that this was a simulation for “Project Blue Beam,” something that the Illuminati have been working on as a means to seize world control.

It’s said that, in order for the domination to happen, all the people of Earth need to surrender and not fight back. One way they’re allegedly trying to achieve this is by projecting a hologram into the sky, big enough to be witnessed from every corner of the world. Some say that this hologram is going to imitate an alien invasion. Some say it will be a godly figure that will try to tell us surrendering is for the best. Either way, the New World Order needs to be more careful when testing its supposedly secret weapons.

3. Malaysia Airlines Flight Disappearance

The case of the Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 that went missing, along with its 227 passengers, in 2014 has been analyzed and debated over and over again. It’s due to be remembered as one of the greatest mysteries in history, given the fact that it seems to have literally disappeared. The plane suddenly vanished from all radars, and no one has heard or seen anything about it since. While most people say it clearly crashed, there is something that strongly counterattacks this possibility: the plane, or the remains of it, has yet to be found.

Conspiracy theorists think they have an answer to this enigma: the plane was actually abducted by a UFO. Unlike the plane crash theory, there is proof to back this possibility up. Right before it vanished, the flight’s radars detected an unknown flying object. I don’t know if this is strange or concerning, but so far, it seems that an alien intervention seems to have been a more likely reason for the Malaysia Airlines disappearance.

4. Alien Jesus

Not even Jesus Christ can escape the tight grasp of conspiracy theorists. They believe that he was an extraterrestrial entity who came to Earth with benevolent intentions. According to those who support this theory, it would explain how he was able to perform miracles and why he often said that he was “not of this world.” They even try to explain the resurrection, claiming that when he ascended, he was actually picked up by his alien buddies and returned home. We definitely know that Jesus was special and otherworldly, but it seems like some people took that part a little bit out of context and had way too much fun with it.

5. USA’s Hidden War Fleet

When people make movies or any other forms of media about alien invasions, we are always put at disadvantage. That’s because, naturally, our military is terrestrial, and there is nothing we can do to stop alien ships from entering out atmosphere. You’d think that with all this considered, humanity would start building intergalactic ships that could stop any possible invaders before they break through. We never learn, do we?

Or maybe we do. There are people (conspiracy theorists, obviously), who strongly believe that NASA does everything but send astronauts on space exploration missions. This is supposedly a simple cover up for the general public. What they’re really doing is build a defense system made up of intergalactic war fleets, which are hovering above Earth right as we speak. I mean, this doesn’t sound bad. It’s the opposite, actually. We definitely can’t prove, neither disprove, that this theory is true. After all, the only ones to know what’s really going on in outer space are NASA employees, who were careless enough to apparently leak some top secret documents. These documents talked about something called the “Solar Warden Program,” and it’s considered to be solid proof for this theory.

I mean, this doesn’t sound bad. It’s the opposite, actually. We definitely can’t prove, neither disprove, that this theory is true. After all, the only ones to know what’s really going on in outer space are NASA employees, who were careless enough to apparently leak some top secret documents. These documents talked about something called the “Solar Warden Program,” and it’s considered to be solid proof for this theory.

Do you believe any of these theories may be real? And say you don’t, do you think alien life exists? More and more people join sides with those that believe it. If you consider all the aspects, they have good reason to. Technology keeps growing more advanced, helping us explore the universe even further. So far, it seems like it’s practically infinite. Is it really that impossible for us to not be the only species, given this situation? But from believing in outer space life to 5 Terrifying Alien Conspiracies That May Be True, there’s a pretty big step. Don’t recommend taking it.

Image sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

16 Most Insane Things Found By Airport Security

March 2, 2016 By Toby Isaacson Leave a Comment

I sure hope that TSA employees receive regular payment bonuses for their job because it’s definitely one of the most nerve-wracking occupations at the moment. They are obligated to follow a set of incredibly strict regulations, and a single mistake can prove to be dangerous or even catastrophic. But, aside from being awfully stressful, this job also comes with another amazing feature: human contact.

When working with such a big influx of passengers going back and forth between flights, you are bound to encounter all kinds of people. After writing up this list of the 16 Most Insane Things Found By Airport Security On Travelers, I’m tempted to say that TSA workers have seen it all. Don’t believe me? By all means, read on.

1. Dead Snakes

I’m resisting the urge to make a Snakes On A Plane joke. It’s too easy. According to the TSA blog, a passenger alerted the explosive substance detector’s alarm. When airport security checked the traveler’s luggage, they discovered bags filled with liquid and dead venomous snakes. The best part is that, legally, there was nothing wrong with that, since there’s no law against deceased snakes flying on a plane.

2. Saw Blades

Bringing sharp objects with you on a plane is vehemently forbidden. This is why, usually, when someone is caught carrying these types of objects with them, this is either because they’ve never been in an airport before or they have some scores to settle if you catch my drift. In this case, it was shockingly neither. Those were Christmas gifts!

3. Grenades

Let’s say that you weren’t aware that you are forbidden to bring on board liquids that go over a certain limit. That’s understandable. Let’s say you didn’t know you can’t bring razors either. On a good day, we’ll say that’s also understandable. But grenades? This is what a passenger, who was caught carrying a grenade in his baggage, claimed.

4. Cannonball

Given how quickly this is escalating, I’m hoping number ten won’t be something like a tank or a fully armed AK-47 hidden among socks. Anyway, an actual cannonball was found in a luggage, and it caused so much panic that the respective area of the airport was evacuated, and a team of bombing technicians and explosive specialists was summoned. Fortunately, it turned out to be harmless.

5. Cellphone (Stun Gun)

Someone disguised a stun gun into a cell phone and thought they could casually carry it through airport security. You can barely get through airport security with some hand lotion, let alone a stun gun.

6. Powder Horn

As aesthetically pleasing this horn might be, it was actually very dangerous. Discovered at Little Rock, within a carry-on baggage, it hid roughly three ounces of black powder, which is incredibly flammable.

7. Chastity Belt

Uh… So, apparently, someone was so worried about the integrity of their chastity, that they decided to take a page out of the medieval book and wear a belt to protect it. Needless to say, the checkpoint gate alarms couldn’t have possibly known about the passenger’s noble intentions.

8. Fish

From the “animals on planes” category, we bring you: beings of Earth’s seas and oceans. Unlike the snakes, though, these 163 tropical fish and the other approximately 70 aquatic species were still alive and kicking. The traveler was allegedly flying them so they would inhabit a big aquarium. The TSA disagreed, confiscating them and passing them to the US Fish and Wildlife Service.

9. Shurikens

Found at more than one airport checkpoint in the USA, shurikens are weapons that were famously used by ninjas. There are so many questions here. Are these people collecting them? Are they criminals with a fine taste in weaponry? Are they actual ninjas? If so, the fact that they travel via plane kind of shatters the mystery surrounding them.

10. Minefield

You thought a grenade and a razor were bad? What about a whole minefield, full of replica claymore mines?

11. VCR Filled With Smartphones

When the TSA began thinking that there was something suspicious about a particular VCR that a passenger was transporting, upon cracking it open, they discovered that they had a good reason for it. Next to a VHS tape were lined up twenty-three smartphones, all wrapped one by one in aluminum foil and taped to the VCR unit. Even though this was a painfully obvious case of black marketing, the traveler got the green light to board them on the plane, since they weren’t considered to be dangerous.

12. Grenade Launcher

Found in a luggage at Seattle Tacoma, this grenade launcher probably belonged to someone who was going to meet up with the other fellows that had been caught with grenades on them. An eye for an eye, a grenade for a launcher.

13. Bear Spray

A passenger was stopped by security at the Newark airport and it was discovered that he was carrying bear spray in his sock. The world is unpredictable, so it never hurts to be prepared at all times for the moment that bear apocalypse is going to kick in.

14. Pigeons

No, they weren’t dead. No, they weren’t in the passenger’s baggage. A man was arrested at the Melbourne airport after it was discovered that he transported two live pigeons in his trousers.

15. Illegal Content In A Grenade

Someone thought that the best way to sneak an illegal thing through airport security is by hiding it inside another illegal thing. Even the TSA employees were bewildered by the passenger’s choice of transportation.

16. Human Skull

Upon the inspection of a baggage, TSA agents working at Fort Lauderdale found actual human remains inside of several clay pots. The passengers that were transporting them claimed they had no idea about the sinister contents, but the area was still considered a crime scene afterward and thoroughly inspected.

Being a TSA agent is an… interesting job to say the least. As proven by the 16 Most Insane Things Found By Airport Security, when an alarm goes off, you can find a variety of things: some hilarious, some incredibly weird, and some able to potentially cause a hazard of proportions. Therefore, with all these things in mind, think carefully if you can put up with situations like these if you’re planning on getting a job at an airport’s security gates.

Image sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16.

14 Most Insane Rulers That Have Ever Lived

February 25, 2016 By Toby Isaacson Leave a Comment

It takes a special kind of person to be able to rule a nation, but it takes an even more special kind of person to be forever reminisced and not get lost in the sands of time. Let’s say you could suddenly become the leader of a country. What do you think history books are going to remember you for? Most people would rather be talked about for their heroic deeds, but unfortunately, here we are – talking about the 14 Most Insane Rulers That Have Ever Lived. Some of them were a majorly harmless kind of crazy. Well, that’s not really the right word, but the point is that they weren’t the sadistic-torturer of crazy. Others were miles worse. Either way, here they are; future leaders, read and learn.

1. Emperor Caligula

So many people have approached this kind of list before, and on basically all of them, you will find Caligula at the top of the hierarchy. That’s not something to be proud of, because he committed deeds so horrible that we can’t even enumerate for the sake of keeping this article family friendly. I’ll just tell you to eventually Google them at some point and swiftly move on.

2. King George III Of England

Suffering from dementia, King George III couldn’t even remember that he was the king or that his wife died. He also attended a very, ahem, memorable Christmas dinner, since he did nothing but blabber nonsense for almost sixty hours straight. Oh, but don’t worry, his madness isn’t the only thing history remembers. It also remembers that he lost the American colonies!

3. Henry VI Of England

I don’t know, seems like life as an English monarch was pretty mentally scarring. Henry VI’s issue was that he was bipolar to the point he was unable to properly rule anymore, forcing his wife to take over.

4. Charles IX Of France

Basically the real life version of Joffrey, Charles IX had some serious temper issues. He once attacked his sister with his bare fists, and during her wedding, he ordered the murder of thousands of people who were protesting outside.

5. Afonso VI Of Portugal

Afonso VI was a monarch that was both mentally and physically handicapped, remaining paralyzed on one half of his body at the age of three. He was known for his sadistic pastimes and for his uncontrollable gluttony and laziness. In fact, he usually ate all of his meals in bed, almost always stuffing himself to the point of sickness.

6. Carlos II Of Spain

This Spanish leader was the unfortunate result of years and years of inbreeding, which resulted in deformities both mental and physical. His appearance was so ruined, that he could barely close his mouth to chew, and many considered him to be a “monstrosity.” Needless to say, he was incapable of ruling, so his mother was the one who did the leading in his stead, while he lived his life believing to be bewitched.

7. Christian VII Of Denmark

Do you know who is the most entitled to complain that they’re doing all the work? Christian VII’s adviser council, that’s who. Since the monarch suffered from paranoia, hallucinations and self-mutilation tendencies, he wasn’t exactly the most suitable person to watch over a country. Oh, and he also randomly slapped people. A true leader.

8. Otto Of Bavaria

Speak from jumping out of the pot straight into the fire. Otto came to replace his also insane brother, Ludwig II, but it turns out that actually was worse. He wasn’t exactly at a random-fist-fights-with-your-sister level of madness, but he couldn’t go anywhere without blabbering and breaking things in his path.

9. Queen Maria I Of Portugal

Take a genealogy already plagued by inbreeding and a history of madness, combine it with the consecutive loss of your loved ones, and you get Queen Maria I. It’s understandable that, under these conditions, she completely lost it, though, but can you imagine working in the palace? Allegedly the late night hours within its walls were filled with agonizing cries and screaming.

10. Fyodor I Of Russia

Ah, finally, an insane ruler who wasn’t hurting anybody. Fyodor I was a particularly pious man, who spent a lot of his time praying. After his daughter died, he started wandering around the Russian lands and rang every church bell he stumbled upon. This is how he came to be nicknamed as Fyodor “The Bellringer.”

11. Maria Eleonora Of Brandenburg

This queen wasn’t going to give up until she would give birth to a boy. This is probably why, after she was blessed with a daughter, she was overtaken by madness. Despite her husband being incredibly happy to have a girl, Maria Eleonora lived with the paranoia that he wasn’t pleased, so she tried numerous times to kill her. Fortunately, her daughter lived to see another day.

12. Ivan IV

You may better know him by the name of Ivan the Terrible. And, boy, did he have a good reason to be called that way. Years of suffering and abuse took their toll on his mental health. When he was only 14, he conquered Russia and decided to feed a pack of dogs with, um, the government. The list of his terrible deeds is long, so let’s stop here.

13. Ludwig II Of Bavaria

The brother and predecessor of the previously mentioned Otto, Ludwig II was a lousy ruler for the plain reason that he wasn’t really ruling at all. His favorite hobby was building castles from fairy tales. This would be an endearing way to spend your leisure time, if it weren’t for the fact he had a country to lead.

14. Juana I Of Spain

She feared the prospect of infidelity so much that, even after his death, she refused to let any women near his corpse. That included nuns, too.

Simply thinking about all these people is enough to make you slightly uncomfortable, so I guess we can all be grateful they aren’t the rulers of our world as we know it today. Sure, our leaders have their issues too, but at least we don’t need to worry that someone will feed the government to dogs. I hope. Basically, let’s be grateful they aren’t the 14 Most Insane Rulers That Have Ever Lived.

Image sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14.

« Previous Page

#1 Remote Headband

#2 Subway Chinrest

#3 The Pet Rock

#4 Hair Visor

#5 Handerpants

#6 The Pizza Fork

#7 Toilet Golf

UFO Paintings

The Pyramids

Easter Island

1. JFK Assassinated by the CIA

2. Illuminati World Control

3. Malaysia Airlines Flight Disappearance

4. Alien Jesus

5. USA’s Hidden War Fleet

1. Dead Snakes

2. Saw Blades

3. Grenades

4. Cannonball

5. Cellphone (Stun Gun)

6. Powder Horn

7. Chastity Belt

8. Fish

9. Shurikens

10. Minefield

11. VCR Filled With Smartphones

12. Grenade Launcher

13. Bear Spray

14. Pigeons

15. Illegal Content In A Grenade

16. Human Skull

1. Emperor Caligula

2. King George III Of England

3. Henry VI Of England

4. Charles IX Of France

5. Afonso VI Of Portugal

6. Carlos II Of Spain

7. Christian VII Of Denmark

8. Otto Of Bavaria

9. Queen Maria I Of Portugal

10. Fyodor I Of Russia

11. Maria Eleonora Of Brandenburg

12. Ivan IV

13. Ludwig II Of Bavaria

14. Juana I Of Spain

About Us

Recent Posts

Categories