So, you think that naming new cars is easy, do you? Do you really think that you could come up with a cool, desirable name which no one would ever laugh at? Well, that’s what the people who named these vehicles thought as well, and look where it got them. Here are 10 of the worst car names in the history of motoring.
1. Subaru BRAT
If there are any car company executives reading this could they please note that we use our cars to get as far away from the brats as possible, not to be reminded of them. If it was called the Subaru Oh My God I am a Parent to a Screaming Child it would have had a similar sort of effect on most of us.
2. Suzuki Esteem
This terrible car name screams out, “Respect me and my inferior car if you don’t mind, please”. If you really had great self esteem you wouldn’t need your car to try and help out in this for you, would you?
3. Oldsmobile Intrigue
In an alternate universe James Bond drives an Oldsmobile Intrigue. This is one of the worst car names out because it really belongs in a bad spy movie or in a cartoon about a superhero puppy who has secret gadgets packed into his powerful Oldsmobile Intrigue. Instead, it is something your middle aged neighbor would drive.
4. Dodge Dart Swinger
What a name for a car. I can’t work out if it sounds more like a wholesome kid’s board game from the 50s or a really low budget stripper.
5. Isuzu Mysterious Utility Wizard
This sounds like the kind of application you download to your phone and then it makes the screen go all funny and you lose all of your songs and the pictures you took of your aunt’s silver wedding anniversary.
6. Studebaker Dictator
#34 in the list of things I would love to say over the phone; “Hold on dude, I’ll be round to pick you up in the Dictator in 10 minutes”.
7. Datsun Fairlady
Why would you even call a car by the name Fairlady? It was a great film but could you really cope with every wag telling you how the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain when you told them what you drove?
8. Ford Probe
Am I the only person who pictures horrifying scenes in the local medical centre when I read the name of this car? As far as the worst car names go, it is hard to beat one which reminds you of sterile rubber gloves and being told to cough.
9. Chevrolet Citation
This is an utterly weird car name, is it not? Why not just call it the Chevrolet Speeding Ticket? Maybe it was a bit of a subtle reference to its awesome power and racing capabilities. Ah, apparently not.
10. Volugrafo Bimbo
The final one on our list of the worst car names around shows us the dangers of words which mean different things in different languages. If only Esperanto has taken off the task of naming vehicles wouldn’t be so terribly difficult.