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Home » church signs

The Church Signs That Ask Deep and Meaningful Questions

September 7, 2014 By This Blog Rules Guest Leave a Comment

Have you ever walked past a church and been stopped in your tracks by a strange sign asking a deep and meaningful question? Maybe it was one of these.

The Hokey Pokey Sign

Church Signs

I have often spent my idle hours moving my arms and legs and wondering whether the Hokey Pokey is what life is all about. I haven’t really but did I fool you into thinking that I had? The Rev Rod Ferguson appears to have had a rip snorting sermon lined up for this day.

The Moustache Question

Church Signs?

This seems like a really good moment to point out that I have started experimenting with a beard and moustache combo. It looks pretty good, even if I do now scare small children a lot more easily. However, this sign has got me worried that my moustache might not survive the trip to Heaven. What will it be like in Heaven, anyway? Will we all walk around with white clothes on and no hair on our upper lips? Sounds a bit dull, to be honest.

The Obama Sign

Church Signs?

It looks like someone at the Jonesville Church of God has seen a connection here that had escaped us all up until now. Sure, Obama and Osama must be brothers if they have got names that are very similar to each other. I wonder if that means that Ronald McDonald and Donald Sutherland are really brothers as well.

The Sign Sign

Church Signs

So, what would you do if God asked for a sign that you were real? Hey, maybe you could make a sign for him. That ought to work.

The Monkey Sign ?

Church Signs

You’re asking for a whole lot of trouble if you start a debate about evolution with certain people. To be fair, Darwin never suggested that we evolved from monkeys all those years ago but it seems to have been accepted as being true by most people. How on Earth does anyone think we could possibly have evolved from monkeys anyway? Everyone knows that they’re way smarter than us. Personally, I think that monkeys evolved from man and that in about say 20 years we’ll all be swinging about in the trees, eating bananas and stealing things

The Hot Sign

Church Signs?

There’s nothing like the threat of burning for eternity in a blazing furnace in hell to sharpen the mind. I get all hot and uncomfortable when the thermometer hits about 30, so I can’t imagine how hot under the collar I would get if things got even warmer. Hang on though, would I still have my moustache down there and would Satan force me to dance the Hokey Pokey endlessly?

The Holy Water

Church Signs?

This sign gives both a thought provoking question and the answer to it. Who knew that Holy Water was made by boiling the Hell out of the stuff? Actually, did you know that Holy Water can’t be disposed of in the regular way, through the plumbing? You can also find some instructions online for making your own if you are interested. Pro Tip: you’ll need Holy Salt as well for some reason.

The Preacher Hell Sign

Church Signs?

I’m sure that this is an intentionally funny sign. After all, it isn’t listening to the preacher that is going to be hellish, is it?

Filed Under: fun Tagged With: church, church signs, fun, funny church signs, signs

The Top 10 Strangest Church Signs Around

June 20, 2014 By This Blog Rules Guest Leave a Comment

Have you ever stopped in your tracks because you walked past a strange church sign? You couldn’t believe what you just saw? If you sometimes get a quiet chuckle from these signs then here is a list of the top 10 strangest church signs around to keep the madness going.

The Top 10 Strangest Church Signs Around: The Easy Spelling Religion?

Strangest Church Signs

Is following a religion that has words that are easy to spell important to you? Go on and admit it; there’s no shame in deciding the eternal fate of your soul for eternity on a grammatical basis. Having said that, I used to always spell Christianity wrong. So, I’m not sure if  the whole spelling this is the best way to judge a religion.

The Top 10 Strangest Church Signs Around: The Staying in Bed Church Sign

Strangest Church Signs?

This strange church sign might clear up any doubts you have about the difference between going to church and…Err, perhaps not. Thanks for that.

The Top 10 Strangest Church Signs Around: The Hipster Church Sign

Strangest Church Signs?

Are you too cool for church? Well then, perhaps the promise of a hipster Jesus is enough to get you kneeling on a pew soon. Be careful not to crush your skinny jeans while doing so.

The Top 10 Strangest Church Signs Around: The Missing Letters Church Sign?

Strangest Church Signs

This is a very clever but strange church sign, isn’t it? I suppose the person who wrote it might convince a few people to convert because of his clever wordplay.

The Top 10 Strangest Church Signs Around: The Facebook Church Sign?

Strangest Church Signs

I laughed out loud at this one. It is another smart idea that probably caught the attention of everyone walking past. What would you do? At least it’s not as serious of a quandary as receiving a friend request from one of your parents.

The Top 10 Strangest Church Signs Around: The GPS Church Sign?

Strangest Church Signs

The twisting of current technology terms and idea for the purposes of church signs is clearly a bit of a trend. In this case, you are being offered Jesus instead of a sat nav system. Do his services include Google Maps as well?

The Top 10 Strangest Church Signs Around: The Hot in Hell Church Sign?

Strangest Church Signs

It is really that hot in hell? I’ve always wondered about whether the place of eternal damnation is genuinely filled with fire and red hot pokers. When I say I have often wondered about it, I really mean that I occasionally muse on the subject. Actually, the thought once crossed my mind. You know what? Just forget I ever mentioned it, okay?

The Top 10 Strangest Church Signs Around: The Free Coffee Church Sign

Strangest Church Signs?

Free coffee and everlasting life, eh? It sounds better than those coffee and toast combos that you end up leaving half the toast form because the coffee’s all been drunk and the toast is too dry to eat on its own. That’s really never happened to you?

The Top 10 Strangest Church Signs Around: The Trip to Heaven Church Sign

Strangest Church Signs?

Am I the only person who thinks that churches should give you some sort of introductory offer? They could take you round heaven for a day or two and let you see what they are really offering. I mean, I’m sure heaven is great and all that. But, I’ve never even seen a brochure for the place.

The Top 10 Strangest Church Signs Around: The Moses Church Sign

Strangest Church Signs

Some of the strangest church signs have a clever message behind them. In this case, our friend Moses wrote a rock song called Basket Case that got to number 1 on the Billboard charts. That’s the right guy, isn’t it?

Filed Under: fun, top list Tagged With: church signs, funny, funny church signs, strangest church signs

The Dirty Church Signs That Might Just Send You to Hell

May 3, 2013 By This Blog Rules Guest Leave a Comment

Best Dirty Church Signs

There is just something so wrong about seeing a church sign and finding a double meaning in it which surely isn’t intentional. So why do we keep doing it? Looking out for dirty church signs is one of the little pleasures which make life worthwhile, so who cares if we have to spend forever in the depths of hell because of it? Here are some of the best ones around but you might want to say a little prayer before you scroll through them all.

The “Blatantly Obvious What It Means” Church Sign

Dirty Church Signs

Photo Credit: smosh.com 

Could anyone in their right mind walk past this sign and not have a little snigger to themselves? Come on, just a little one which no one else will even really notice. Oh, please yourself then but you know what we are talking about here, and it is more to do with palms than psalms. [Read more…]

Filed Under: fun Tagged With: church signs

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