by Will Conley
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace in 3D hits theaters today. In case you haven’t heard of the film, it’s a remake of the hit 1999 sci-fi classic, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace in 2D.
Like the original, the remake features all your favorite characters engaging in such crackling dialog as:
“I vote to impeach Natalie Portman. If you know what I mean.”
“Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, something about trade routes, yadda yadda, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.”
We at This Blog Rules feel that this re-release is exactly what the Star Wars franchise needs, and that there will be many surprises in this new, more three-dimensional-y version of the movie you saw and previously didn’t like because you are an ignorant donkey.
But those of you who pay close attention to Things Happening Around You may be aware that Episode I gets a lot of flack from armchair movie critics who have never been in a real pod race and would therefore have no real-world knowledge on which to base their cruel and accurate criticisms of the film. [Read more…]