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Home » dating

The Most Horrifically Bad Chat-up Lines Ever Used

March 31, 2014 By This Blog Rules Guest Leave a Comment

When you meet an attractive member of the opposite sex it can be incredibly difficult to think of something smart and interesting to say. However, what you really don’t want to do is utter one of these terribly bad chat-up lines.

Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me crazy…

Are You Jamaican Bad Chat-up Line

Good lord, that is one awful chat-up line. It’s all very well trying to break the ice with a joke but not one as a bad as this. Of course, if it turns out that the person you are speaking to is really from Jamaica then that adds a whole new level of stupidity to what you just said.

I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas

Horrific I Can Get You Pregnant Chat-up Line

Guys who use this line shouldn’t expect to be swamped by giggling ladies handing over their phone numbers. It might sound like a good chat-up line when you tell your mates you plan to use it but in the harshness of the real world you can expect nothing more than a good old slap in the face if you use it.

I like your dress, but it would look better on my bedroom floor

Bad Chat Up Lines

For those chaps who like subtlety, this is one want to avoid. Ladies can also use this line if they switch the word “dress” for “pants”.

Well hey there, I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock

Bad Chat Up Lines

Oh dear, oh dear. Once you realise that those words have actually come out of your mouth you will want the Earth to open up and swallow you. For a start, the inclusion of an old cartoon character is not advisable when you first approach someone you are interested in. It’s like saying, “Hey, do you remember the funny cat in Hong Kong Phooey?” Secondly, the poor pun it ends with is just awful.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Bad Chat Up Lines

This is a dreadful chat-up line which isn’t likely to impress anyone. It just sounds as though you are trying to woo them using a cheesy line you once read on some stupid internet article.

Did you fall from heaven…because your face is kind of lop-sided?

Bad Did you fall from heaven...because your face is kind of lop-sided? Chat Up Line

This is an interesting variant on the last line and, incredibly, it’s even worse. The first fault with this bad chat-up line is that it is just vomit inducing nonsense. Secondly, well, you are telling the person you are interested in that their face is kind of lop-sided. That’s not such a good idea, is it?

Ok, I’m here, what do you want for your next wish?

Ok, I'm here, what do you want for your next wish? ?Chat-up Line

So, you want to go for the cocky, over confident approach do you? Go on, knock yourself out kid.

Do you have any change I can borrow? My mother told me to call her when I meet the woman of my dreams.

Bad Borrow Change and Call Mom Chat Up Line

Hmm, it just isn’t going to work, is it? It just sounds stupid and fawning. It also sounds like you don’t have any money either.

Your dad must be a terrorist because he made a bomb

Bad Chat Up Lines

Instead of saying this line to another human being you might as well just slap yourself in the face, throw a drink over yourself and go home for a quiet night in on your own.

Filed Under: fun Tagged With: bad chat up lines, bad pick up lines, dating, how to meet girls, pick up lines, women

Top 5 Ways NOT to Hit on a Female Jedi at the Office

December 17, 2012 By ThisBlogRules Leave a Comment

Matin Comedy explains the top 5 ways not to hit on a female Jedi at the office. And all this time, you thought you were doing it right…

Filed Under: fun Tagged With: comedy, dating, female jedi, office romance

The Five Worst Kinds of Pickup Lines

January 11, 2012 By Vernon Gadson 1 Comment

Pickup lines, as a rule, generally suck. Everyone knows one when they hear one, and a lot of times are not impressed by them. Even at their best, pickup lines are tacky and silly sounding, and even those are a rarity.

They are remarkably similar to Christmas sweaters in this aspect.

I have noticed, though, that pickup lines can be sorted into groups, based on what kind of awful person they make you look like. First impressions are everything, and since all this person knows about you is that you just tried to hit on them by hitting them with a snappy one liner, it’s going to force them to draw some conclusions about your everyday demeanor. For simplicity’s sake, the situations described are based on a man trying to hit on a woman, since this appears to be the most common scenario. [Read more…]

Filed Under: fun Tagged With: alcohol, bars, best pickup lines, chicks, dating, drunk, girls, pickup lines, romance, sex

11 Points Review of 11 Points Guide to Hooking Up

June 22, 2011 By Vernon Gadson 1 Comment

by Elizabeth Downing Johnson: When I was first asked to review a book I was all, “Great!  I can be a prestigious, well-respected, nay FEARED, literary critic. When I received the book I was all, “Crap.  How am I going to explain my reading of this book to my husband?”  It’s for ART, I told him.  It’s for the INTERNET, I further told him. The book was sent for FREE, by the AUTHOR, who might one day be FAMOUS, and who included a handwritten note on a pink INDEX CARD.  And he was all, “OK.”  So, without further ado, here is my review of the book entitled 11 Points Guide to Hooking Up, by Sam Greenspan.

1. Even if you’re a person in a committed relationship (married even) you’ll find this book enjoyable. The author is knowledgeable, funny, and…funny. It’s a funny book. Who doesn’t like funny books? Some of the information will be a bit distasteful to you (especially if you’ve spent a lot of time protesting the elimination of your pubic hair, or protesting the idea of threesomes), but overall it is a solid read.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: fun Tagged With: 11 points, book, book review, booty calls, boys, dating, first dates, girls, grinch, guide to hooking up, how to, list, love, marriage, miami vice, passion, pick up, romance, sam greenspan, scandals, sex, sex tips, simpsons, threesome

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