Travelling by bus or train is always an interesting experience. You never know who or what you might find on these trips but if you are lucky you might come across a few of the funniest things about public transport.
People Falling Asleep
One of the worst feelings in the world is when you are on a bus or train and feel your head starting to droop uncontrollably. Sure, you’ve got your pride and you jerk awake a few times but you know fine well that it is going to end in large amounts of drooling and weird body movements. Of course, when you do this it is tragic and regrettable but when others do it is funny and worth taking a snap of.
People Falling Asleep on You
If there’s one thing worse than falling asleep on public transport it is falling asleep on top of someone else. In fact, scrub that. Worse of all is when someone else falls asleep on top of you. At this point I can recommend a sharp elbow to the ribs of the sleeping beauty. If your elbows are too blunt for this then moving away so that they fall over is equally acceptable.
People Shaving Their Head
There you are on the train to work when you think to yourself, “Strewth, my head isn’t as smoothly shaved as I would like it to be, although I do have a handy shaving device here.” Thankfully, the cabin appears to be almost empty so after a few seconds of deliberation you do what any sensible bald dude in need of a head shave would do.
The Weird People
Isn’t it strange how you are the only sane person to use public transport? Sure, I’m sane as well but you’ve never travelled on the same public transport as me. Well, unless you’re the dude who fell asleep and slobbered on my shoulder that time in London. If you are then I hope your ribs are feeling better. I used to travel on the Tube every day in London and it was filled with the weirdest and most potentially psychotic characters imaginable. I found that staring emptily into space and then running like hell once I got to my station was the best approach to avoiding these people. Actually, that probably made me seem a bit weird too, didn’t it?
The People Who Arrive Just Too Late
I’m sorry. I know I’m cruel and unspeakably evil but I think that one of the funniest things about public transport is when someone arrives just too late and the door slams shut in their face just as they are counting their fare and wondering whose shoulder they are going to fall asleep on. At this point we get to see people’s real personalities, so don’t look away and miss the best bit. Some frustrated would-be commuters will get all upset and aim a kick at the door or start shouting. Others will keep running after the bus or train in the vain hope that it will stop at some point for them (these are funniest ones and should be encouraged). If you are ever in this situation then the most elegant solution is to slow down and nonchalantly pretend that you didn’t really want to get on in the first place.
People Eating Huge Amounts of Food
Am I the only person who finds it weird and slightly disturbing when fellow passengers start eating huge amounts of food on public transport? Surely not. I’ve always wondered why they do this. Are they too hungry to travel all the way home before tucking in? Are they keen to make everyone else there feel ravenously hungry while they smugly stuff their faces?