The alpha male instinct lies deep within you, young grasshopper. As you know, many of your pack members have not gained full wisdom in the ways of domestication. They reject the rules and, sometimes, must be punished for their lack of social skills, often requiring re-education on some of the most elementary practices. Not only is it your duty to stand up and become the man everyone wants you to be, but as the alpha dog, I mean alpha male, you must set the example by using your sovereignty for good, not evil.
While there is no made manual explaining exactly how to dig into your soul and allow your manly instincts to kick in, they are, in fact, there. So how about some help? Take it from television’s extreme alpha males — Packmaster Alcide from “True Blood” (a pretty little lady always by his side), Jack Donaghy from “30 Rock,” Ari Gold from “Entourage,” and the one and only mans man/ladies man, Don Draper of “Mad Men.”
Get Some Cojones
Confidence. Guts. Balls. A very necessary trait when attempting to succeed at anything, let alone meeting a lovely lady. Within the confounds of confidence, lies humor, wit and education. Say what you mean, but with style and poise.
There are a few different types of alpha males, including full-fledge tool bags, ones who are obnoxious and overbearing (how do they still get chicks?), and then the one you want to be. Themodernman.com suggests leaving arrogance behind and finding your wit: the keen perception and cleverly apt expression of those connections between ideas that awaken amusement and pleasure (thank you dictionary.com).
Nail the Look
Take as many of these manly ideas home with you as you groom yourself to be the best you can be.
- 5 O’clock Shadow — Grow one. Women find it sexy, studies show it. What studies? I don’t know but it’s true.
- Tone It Up — Muscles are popular women desires, according to research out of UCLA.
- Go Deep — A deep voice is one of those comfort issues. Strong hands and a deep voice continue to make women melt, says a study in Memory & Cognition.
- The Car — Depending on the type of alpha male you want to be, your car says a lot! Men’s Health states that a 2011 study from the University of Texas at San Antonio found that a fast car can equal a fast hook-up. Listen, just make sure you have a running car and you’re fine.
- Nice Threads — The clothes make the man, or so the saying goes. Again, this depends on the type of man you want to be. Go with a style and groom yourself. If your style is disheveled and unshaven, do it with confidence. Groom yourself to be properly and admirably unkempt.
Laughter is infectious. This might be where education plays a crucial role. When in conversation, know what you are talking about by doing your research. When delivering jokes, be sure you think before you speak and that you are playfully intelligent and witty. Give a wink to your female interest and direct humor towards her. You’ll win the entire crowd over, not just your new lady friend.
It’s All in Your Hands
Take control. Lead the way. Take her hand and hold it strong. As Art of Manliness simply suggests. be a gentleman and open doors for her. When you hug her, do it with passion. Have a firm handshake with other males and females. If confronted by a possible altercation, face out your palms, shrug your shoulders, interject some wit and walk away. You are the leader of a pack, alpha male, don’t forget that. But if totally necessary, hold up your hands and knock the dude to the ground. Bam, alpha dog!