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The Unexpectedly Brilliant Songs by Terrible to Average Bands

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Isn’t it amazing how a really bad band can pull a fabulous song out of their hat once in their career, as though they had temporarily loaned their soul to the devil instead of outright selling it? These are most unexpectedly brilliant songs by bands that are usually decidedly average or downright horrible to listen to.

Livin’ on a Prayer – Bon Jovi

Brilliant Songs 

Ok, so you hate Bon Jovi and all of the poodle haired lame-assedness they stand for. I don’t blame you. In fact, I fully endorse you. However, I dare you to listen to this thumping rockfest and not scream “ooow a ooow a ooow a” at the start before jumping up and down and throwing your lavish mane around the place.  You just can’t, can you?

Hotel California – The Eagles

Brilliant Songs

How can a band that has taken out the copyright on dull, pointless music make something as stunningly unique and wonderful as this? Even the bizarre bit about stabbing the beast and the whole wine/spirit confusion are strangely uplifting moments.

Seven Nation Army – The White Stripes

Brilliant Songs

If you are currently going wild at your computer and calling me a fool and a buffoon among other gentle old-fashioned barbs, let me ask you to lie down and re-consider your position for a moment. You do not love The White Stripes. You simply love one of their songs. So do I and most rational people. This song is built on one of the best riffs ever. If you can listen to the song once with having it running through your head for weeks afterwards then you are arguably not even human. This is the first White Stripes songs I ever heard, so I headed straight to my local online vaguely legal download emporium in a state of some agitation to download their entire freaking back catalogue. What did I then hear? Not one single funky riff like this. Instead, I heard a lot of tuneless wailing and a small child running his nails down a broken and out of tune guitar.

I Still Haven’t Found What I Was Looking For – U2

Brilliant Songs

To be fair, U2 aren’t the worst band in the world ever. That would be a tossup between Limp Bizkit and, well, no one else really. However, they are a bit dull and pompous, aren’t they? Having said that, this is one of the few songs I could listen to every single day of my life and never get bored of. Nothing else they have ever made comes even close to the sweeping majesty and world-wise lyrics of this masterpiece.

Since U Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson

Brilliant Songs

This song absolutely rocks, yet the singer doesn’t. Go figure.

The Final Countdown – Europe

Brilliant Songs

My sister had the Europe album on cassette when I was a kid. There was this one fantastic song on it and then a lot of Euro rock trash nonsense stuff. Still, altogether now, “We’re leaving together…”

Run to You – Bryan Adams

Brilliant Songs

What the Hell happened to sappy, soppy Adams when he recorded this genius rock anthem? Summer of 69 was actually pretty good as well but Run to You is just a slobbering chunk of Canadian rock god awesomeness, and those aren’t words you see together very often.

The Boys of Summer – Don Henley

Brilliant Songs

This song and Rosanna by Toto are burned into my brain for eternity. The jukebox in my local sleazy pub only seemed to have these two songs on it. One of the regular customers – it may have been Henley himself for all I know – used to put on the Boys of Summer on a semi-permanent basis. Just as well it is a top notch song and not at all like just about anything else this guy and his Eagles buddies have ever done.

Horrible Covers to Ruin Perfectly Awesome Songs

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Some songs are written so utterly perfect that no cover could or would ever do them justice. And in spite of our availability when it comes to listening to a song that has been rehashed in order to make it possible for wannabe artists to hit the top of the charts, there are songs that simply shouldn’t be tackled. Even though we should also address the topic of including parts of famous songs into pieces that simply aren’t good (as Abba’s “Gimme Gimme Gimme” was raped by Madonna or how Christina Aguilera and Pitbull decided that Aha’s “Take on me” needed some improvement), today’s article will only discuss appalling covers that could even make fans doubt the original song. So here are (x) horrible covers that have completely ruined the originals:1

Madonna- American Pie

At the top of our list is one of the best contenders for the Worst Covers of All Time lists. Madonna’s American Pie has been so loathed and has been described as one of the biggest travesties to ever be heard. Recorded for the romantic comedy “The Next Best Thing”, it’s more than clear that neither the song nor the movie were well received. So much so that Madonna herself disavowed the song, stating that her decision to record it was sort of forced by a certain record company. Whatever the reason, there is no reason for such bad music.

The Video Here.

Britney Spears- Satisfaction

Wasn’t it more than clear that if the queen of pop wanted shit to hit the fan with the previous cover, that the princess of pop would follow in her footsteps? She decided therefore to take this absolutely amazing song from the Rolling Stones, grind it together with a dash of bad singing, stick it to a ridiculously horrible re-orchestration and market it as her own personal insult to a band that has written music history.

Decide for yourselves.

Sheryl Crow – Sweet Child o’ Mine

Who doesn’t love the original, down-to-earth, absolutely perfect song that was, is and forever will be Sweet Child o’ Mine? Apparently Sheryl Crow, as she single handedly destroyed it (as if she had lit it on fire, spat on it and lit it on fire all over again to make sure that the ashes themselves had burned). Her version is even worse than anyone could imagine, but if you don’t want to take our word for it, we invite you to try and get to the end of this 3 min 57 second musical cacophony.

Enjoy.

Massive Attack- Light My Fire

Even great bands such as Massive Attack can totally screw up from time to time and there is no better example of such a situation than what they have achieved by trying to cover the song “Light My Fire” (originally sung by The Doors). We all know the original and if you don’t we strongly suggest you listen to it at least ten times so that you can erase any and all remnants of this cover from your memory.

The Cover here.

Sean Kingston- Me Love

Can you imagine a situation in which a relatively bad song is covered and it becomes an even worse song? Of course you can’t so we decided to help you and bring you one perfect such example. Originally sung by Led Zeppelin (as Dyer Maker), Sean Kingston managed to suck out everything in the song that had to do with good-old-fashioned music and replaced it with poorly structured commercial music, thus turning it into complete and utter rubbish.

For your own viewing pleasure.

5 Women Portrayed in Famous Songs We’d Like To Say a Few Words To

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When it comes to music industry, great artists and performers, bands that are older and more established than time itself, it is hard not to find in their history as musicians at least one song about a particular girl or woman who either broke their hearts, is about to break their hearts or at least messed up with their lives completely. From the old and golden days of rock, to the modern pop music and post – modern trends in music, it was not only men who sang about some very special ladies featuring very special character traits or behaviors, but women too. Search all you want, look into archives, and see for yourself that there are at least a few women portrayed in famous songs that deserve a bit of attention, if not to find out who they are, at least to give them a piece of our mind.

So given the fact I personally love music and I can’t type a damn word without some tune pleasantly enveloping my brain, I decided that it was about time to look a bit deeper into the matters and browse some of my favorite lady – inspired songs and have the ladies hear my thoughts on them.

1. Michael Jackson’s (Dirty) Diana

Now Michael had some interesting relationships with women, both in his personal life and throughout his music. While he swore that Billie Jean’s baby wasn’t his, the boy had his eyes, so Billie Jean is off the hook for now, as who knows what they actually did on that dancing floor? But Dirty Diana? Lady, you are a shame to the female kind, stalking the superstar like that, scheming and plotting and making his official girl have a heart break (and attack, probably). You are one of the worst women portrayed in famous songs and if I wouldn’t be a dedicated Jackson fan until my last breath, I would skip this one every time it reaches my playlist.

dirty diana

2. Therapy’s Diane

Run, for God’s sake! The psycho has a knife and he kinda promises some rape and murder is almost granted in his sick mind. So Diane, dear, you made a famous song famous just because you are about to die every two lyrics. You’re young, you’re cute, seriously, does your mother know you’re dating murderous perverts?

diane

3. Eric Clapton’s Layla

Now you lady have some serious issues! And again, you shame the female kind with your games, bringing a man down to his knees to beg like that, to make a fool of himself, to be on the verge? Who taught you that, young lady? After all, you’ve kinda been dumped (no, I don’t believe Eric saying you got let down – your old man dumped your sorry pompous personality) and come on, woman, Eric Clapton! And you are the ones complaining men aren’t emotionally available, are twisted, confused, driven by ego and moody! You must be one of the most emotionally challenged women portrayed in famous songs! Shhiiish…

leyla

4. Dolly Parton’s Jolene

Jolene dear, I understand that you are a gorgeous woman, you have the features of a goddess and you are probably more of a woman than any other women out there, but don’t take Dolly’s man, for cryin out loud, she’s whining about it until time ends and if she had an ounce of brain she would end elegantly her unhappy relationship, as it is obviously her man is no longer with her in spirit (and I believe in body, either), and get a life for herself, far away from the guy who can’t make up his mind already. But both Dolly and her man seem incapable to take mature decisions, so Jolene, dear, find yourself another home to wreck, this one is just not worth it.

jolene

5. Rolling Stone’s Angie

Woman, what happened there? You were doing so fine! And you seem to be the victim here, despite your beauty, your bright spirit and your deep soul. Apparently despite all your efforts to keep the bum close to you, as he thinks it is time to say goodbye. Did he ask you first? Was it a mutual conclusion? Can’t this falling apart be solved somehow? Don’t you just stand there, do something about it! On the other hand, if you stay together he’d probably never get to sing this song so…. my heart is confused…

angie

I have others, don’t fret about it, but these were my first choices of women portrayed in famous songs that I needed to have a chat with. Feel free to add your own ladies to the list!

What Music Should You Listen to on the Job? [Infographic]

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For many working stiffs slaving away from 9:00 to 5:00, popping in a pair of earphones and listening to music can provide a merciful mental escape from the drudgeries of the daily grind. But different genres of music can have both a positive and negative impact on an employee’s productivity, meaning the difference between a promotion and a pink slip. But exactly what kind of tunes should you be listening to a work?

Luckily, Sonos have provided the answer to this all-important question in their brand new infographic, which will take you step-by-step through the process of on-the-job music selection – it’s easy as pie. So, should you be listening to rock and roll or classical? Smooth jazz or heavy metal? Hip-hop or country and western? Read on, get your iPod ready and find out. [Read more…]

Top 10 Cover Songs That Improve On The Original

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Before we get started, please be warned that this list is of the Top 10 Cover Songs That Improve On The Original. Do not be mislead. This list will not contain All Saints covering “Under the Bridge,” The Corrs covering Fleetwood Mac or the latest X-Factor finalist miming whatever heartfelt love song they decide on this year.

So, to be clear, you will not see “These Boots Are Made For Walkin,” the mindless, over-sexified Jessica Simpson version.

Why the hell is there a sacrilegious salsa beat in the verse? Kill me. [Read more…]

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