We all love to get cheerful, seasonal Christmas cards through the post, don’t we? However, what we really, really done want is one of these horrible Christmas cards. Seriously, if you get a card like these ones then it is time to get new friends or buy a new family or something.
The Naked Family Card
Yeah, so this is my family. They look pretty good naked, don’t they? Why oh why oh why would you put a picture of your naked family members on a Christmas card? This is probably an offense punishable with a few years in jail in some countries.
At least these folks are fully dressed. In fact, they are probably too fully dressed in some respects. Someone in the family thought that it would be a funny thing if they sent out a bad Christmas card in which they were are all dressed as Christmas trees. It wasn’t. Nice try though.
The Naked and Pregnant Christmas Card
This family have been taking lessons from the naked family earlier on in the list. However, they have the added bonus of a pregnant women’s large belly to put friends and relatives off their festive meals. Thanks Demi, for inspiring a generation to show off their bumps.
The Closed Eyes Family Card
This whole family has their eyes closed for some reason. They are all wearing red as well, in case you hadn’t noticed. Happy Christmas y’all.
The Me and My Cat Card
Isn’t it sad how some people make their feline buddy miss out on all the festive fun? There you are eating turkey and exchanging lame gifts while Tiddles is all sad and lonely under the tree. Thankfully, there are some people out there who value their cat’s feelings during the holiday season. This noble guy looked out his best jumper, grabbed his cat and made a horrible Christmas card. What a star.
The Kissing Card
So, if I am reading this situation right the brothers and sisters are all kissing and the parents are looking up proudly and thinking that incest is going to carry on being a family tradition for a while yet. Alternatively, the kids are kissing their partners and the parents are keeping a close watch on what the hands are up to. Either way, it’s a great card.
The Elvis Card
This is what you could technically call a family of festive Elvii. Most worryingly, a few of them look as though they are really enjoying the experience and getting into character. Santa is utterly confused but he is too polite to do anything but smile and wonder when he can get the hell out of that mad house.
The Human Christmas Tree Card
This family has decided to become a human Christmas tree. It’s not a bad idea but can you spot the family member who isn’t entirely convinced that this is what she wants to be doing with her life?
The Stripy Family Card
Hey kids, I’ve got an idea to make this year’s Christmas card really special and make sure you don’t grow up with any sort of mental traumas at all. Go on, Dad. Ok, so you know that bunch of creepy matching stripy pyjama type stuff we all wear on special occasions…?