Sometimes life is tough if you are a rich and privileged member of the developed world. Who could sleep easily at night when having to deal with nasty first world problems like these ones?
My New Car Is So Big I Had to Move My Pool Table Out the Garage
Don’t you just hate it when you need to use something solely for the practical reason it was designed for? Someone should really design a garage which adapts to your changing needs by being expandable. Or a folding car. Yeah, that would be better as long as it folded itself up rather than just sit there expecting me to do the dirty work.
Sometimes I Would Like to Order a Sandwich Without Making So Many Decisions
Do you remember the good old days when you would ask for a ham sandwich and not have to say another word until your stomach was filled with bread and dead pig? These days, you ask for a sandwich and then need to face up to a bewildering and frankly unwanted series of questions. What kind of bread do you want? What extra toppings do you want? Do you want it hot or cold? Do you want cheese? What kind of cheese? Do you want the cheese grated? How do you want the cheese grated? Heck, it is now only slightly more difficult to make the blooming thing myself.
My Fridge Is So Full I Fear Some Products Will Pass Their Sell By Date Before I Reach Them
I don’t know about you but I hate seeing a really full fridge. I get worried that there might be a few forgotten about yoghurts lurking at the back which don’t have long left before they go off. Occasionally I will need to gorge on tomatoes, cakes and eggs in order to see the back of the fridge. By then there is no room left in my stomach for anything else anyway and I still haven’t had my supper yet. Can you see how some first world problems lead on from one to another?
My Shampoo Ran Out but I Have Lots of Conditioner Left
We live in the 21st century. I can talk to people on the other side of the planet as though they were sitting next to me. Cars can drive themelves. My phone is smarter than me. So why oh why can’t someone invent shampoo which runs out at the same time as the conditioner? How hard can it be?
My Child Has a Marginally More Modern Phone than Me
I reckon that the human race won’t die out due to nuclear bombs, stray asteroids or horrible pandemics. No, first world problems such as phone envy will be our final downfall. Man will be pitted against neighbours and friends once it gets to the stage where life is completely unbearable without having the most modern phone possible. I bought my daughter a new phone last month and just realised that it is a slight better one than mine. She is only 3, so I reckon I can switch them one day while she is sleeping and she won’t even notice.
If It Doesn’t Get Cold Soon I Won’t Be Able to Buy a Warm Jacket This Winter
You know that life is getting tough when you have your eye on a really nice jacket but the temperature just doesn’t drop enough to be able to wear it. By the time it’s gotten cold enough to wear it the darned thing will probably be out of fashion.