There are few things more exciting than flying off to somewhere exotic and seeing a truly wondrous sight or three. Sadly, the planet has more dumb tourist attractions than you could ever hope to see in your lifetime. Here are some of the most pointless ones.
I know that I run the risk of gangs of drugged up Druids attacking me the next time I visit England but I have to be honest, Stonehenge kind of sucks. What we have here are a bunch of rocks behind a fence next to a motorway.
If Stonehenge wasn’t lame enough for you then you can do even worse in the US. In Alliance, Nebraska they decided to make a fake Stonehenge out of American cars. It is even more of a pointless tourist attraction than I just made it appear.
The Beijing Museum of Tap Water, China
Have you ever wondered about the rich and complex history of tap water? If you have then you need to hotfoot it to Beijing and find out about modern monitoring measures and, eh, other stuff.
Madame Tussauds, England
I lived in London for a while and one day I thought I would mosey along to Madame Tussauds. After all, we hear all the time about how great it is and how amazingly lifelike the wax models are. What we don’t get told is that looking at wax models (lifelike or not) is not a life enhancing experience.
Four Corners Monument, USA
So, there’s this place which is the only part of the country where 4 states all come together. Is this a fascinating monument to celebrate the unique and diverse cultures of NM, CO, UT and AZ or one of the planet’s least interesting tourist attractions?
The Bangkok Forensic Museum, Thailand
Anyone who wants to see horribly dissected bodies, dead criminals and grossly swollen body parts could make a flying visit to this house of fun. The only word of warning is that the kids will have nightmares until they are well into their 30s.As dull tourist attractions go this one has at least got a frisson of excitement, as you wonder who in the group will throw up first.
Hollywood Walk of Fame, USA
Could there be anything less interesting than looking at a star’s name scratched into the sidewalk?
Manneken Pis, Belgium
Here we have a fountain with a vaguely obscene statue of a child urinating. It is one of the country’s biggest tourist attractions for some inexpiable reason. Sometimes they replace the water in the fountain with beer but apart from that, there is little reason to see this statue.
The Little Mermaid, Denmark
This isn’t even the real statue you are going to stand and gawp at. This is a copy of the real Little Mermaid statue but that hasn’t stopped it from being one of the most heavily vandalised sculptures in the world. Over the years she has lost head, had her arm cut off, been painted, lost her head again and even been blasted with explosives. A pointless tourist attraction and a pretty dangerous place to hang around, it seems.
Every Zoo Everywhere
On the great truths of tourism which no one ever wants to admit is that zoos are kind of crap. You pay your money with high hopes of some sort of exhilarating safari experience but end up depressed by the sight of sad animals locked up in tiny cages. Wow, look at the mentally disturbed lion go round in circles endlessly and be amazed by the bewildered monkeys who can’t work out why they are trembling in a cold cage instead of eating bananas in the wilds.