1. If you have to feed a tiger in the bathroom, go inside and close the door, instead of just entering, throwing him the steak and run closing the door after you.
2. You can easily get away with auto theft (plus shooting, etc) just by appealing to the officer’s ego.
3. After being left out on the roof of a hotel and suffering major sunburn, go ahead and put the top down of your car for your long drive home in the direct sun.
2. It is perfectly acceptable to give your 30 pound baby liposuction to make her lose ten pounds (especially if your baby is going to be dressed up as a Nazi).
2. A spaceship that has run out of power can still levitate itself, despite a lack of power
Inglorious Basterds 1. When you have the entire Nazi high command, including Hitler, watching a film premiere, just post two armed guards; there is no need to station additional troops anywhere, to thoroughly check the venue for bombs or other threats, or to search any visiting Italians.
2. Hitler enjoys chewing gum during movies.
2012 1. When collecting animals for the ark, do not collect cows, sheep or pigs (animals that provide humans with food and clothing) rather save the giraffe and the rhino, and then return them to Africa, a part of the world that wasn’t flooded anyways!
2. If you want to survive in 2012, take a few flight lessons.
3. Russians would rather speak in mangled English rather than their native Russian while talking amongst themselves.
2. The U.S. military has an elite underground group of highly trained ninjas to do battle with other highly trained underground secret ninjas.
3. French police will only intervene after half the city, countless citizens, and their most marketable tourist destination has been destroyed.
2. In the future traffic cops will be replaced by floating cyborgs who refer to everyone as “citizen”.
3. Go to Engineering if you want to play the Star Trek drinking game.
2. If you find out that you cause cancer you can always start a new life on mars.
3. World peace justifies atomic war.
2. Zombies can’t tell if you’re a human as long as you look like a zombie.
3. Thank God for rednecks.
The Twilight Saga: New Moon 1. Werewolves, by definition, must have six pack abs and take every possible opportunity to show them off, even if it means standing in the rain topless waiting for someone to randomly stop by
2. So if a vampire sparkles in the sunlight, it brings a whole new meaning to the lyric “I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.”
3. When a misunderstanding over the phone occurs, don’t press “dial back” but run to the last known location of the caller.
2. Na’vi hair is not really hair
3. Aliens in space stole Native American and African costumes
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